I went on a business trip with the hostess, and when I came back, the lady was pregnant, and I was fired, and I was furious, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were fired, I said I don't

I went on a business trip with the hostess, and when I came back, the lady was pregnant, and I was fired, and I was furious, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were expelled, I said I don't know, didn't I buy milk powder for the child? The hostess said no, why do others send you a happy one next time? After saying that, he threw the beer lid on my head. Heck, how do people now know that this is power. There was no way but to look for a job. Find a factory, the security guard will not let in, there is no way but to say to the security guard: I came to find the daughter-in-law, the security guard said: Who is your daughter-in-law, say the name I am sure, just next to the list of excellent employees in the factory, I casually read a xxx. Then the security guard took the baton and began to beat me: She is my daughter-in-law, what is your relationship with my daughter-in-law. Then I was kicked out.

2. Tonight I heard the next door neighbor arguing, and I went to persuade them. After arriving, the sister-in-law next door said indignantly: Our family wants to change new lamps, and then go downstairs to decorate the house to borrow an electric drill, but people don't know us, so they don't want to lend us, and then you Brother Li actually said, 'Take my daughter-in-law here', you say that people are not angry? What's even more infuriating is that the goods downstairs actually shook their heads and said, 'My electric drill is very valuable', and I don't even have a diamond worth anything?

3. The abbot and the rich woman are dating in a park, and the two decide to play some games. The abbot said to the rich woman: Let's play hide-and-seek, I will hide you to find! The rich woman agreed, then closed her eyes and silently counted two hundred numbers, but after an hour she still did not find them. The cry of the rich woman alarmed the tourists, and everyone helped him find it. At this time, a dumbfounded scene appeared, and the abbot came out of the lotus pond with a reed in his mouth: this is also too much of a fuss!

4. When I was in high school, I especially liked the goddess in our class, but I was embarrassed to confess. After all, at that time, I was already a dead house of more than two hundred pounds, how could I eat swan meat with toads? I didn't expect that on the way back to the dormitory this day, I actually met the goddess crying in the corner. I walked over to her and asked her what was wrong, and she sobbed and asked me: Are you willing to lend me a hand, your shoulder? I said: As long as you don't cry, I will!! The goddess stopped crying and stepped on my shoulder over the wall to go out on a date...

5． A friend was once in the hot spring when he suddenly had a urinary emergency, so he buried his whole body in the water to solve it. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" The security guard quickly dragged him out of the water and fined him 800 yuan, it turned out that the merchant had put the drug in the water, and the drug changed color when it met with urine.

3. Some time ago, there were problems in the company's capital operation, resulting in a large number of layoffs. Later, the company's performance improved, and it began to recruit a large number of people for various positions. A few days ago, the company parachuted in a beautiful female supervisor. I remember seeing her somewhere. She has a husband and children, but she lies to her boss that she is single. In order to expose her, I am going to risk my life to change her remarks. One day, while she was away, I stole her cell phone and changed my boss's number to her boyfriend's note. It didn't take long for her to become the boss's wife!!

4. My brother is five years older than me. My aunt thought I was still young, so she only bought my brother a bike. I wanted to ride it, but my brother wouldn't lend it to me. One morning, while my brother was brushing his teeth, I secretly ran off my bike. Finally, my brother found out. He chased me out with a mouth full of foam and I rode fast! The uncle who sold buns called me: "Wait for your brother, don't ride too fast, he spits white foam!"

I found that my sister-in-law secretly added my WeChat, and I reported to my daughter-in-law for the first time, and I said, "You see, this is not your sister's trumpet!" The daughter-in-law looked at it carefully and nodded. At this time, the message came over: "Brother, this is my trumpet, don't let my sister know, we will contact here later." Without waiting for me to speak, she said: "First transfer me 8,000 yuan, I will use it urgently, and I will return to you for benefits." The daughter-in-law saw the situation and directly grabbed my mobile phone and sent a voice: "Can you order a face, can you order a face, and you must pry my corner?" She quickly wrote back to you: "Brother, I misread you!" "Cut, I'm not at all wrong.

2. The old farmer did not know what Ling Zun meant, so he went to consult a college student. The college student teased him and said, "What does son mean." The old peasant believed it to be true and said, "How many lingzuns do you have in your family?" The college student said awkwardly, "I don't have Ling Zun." The old peasant thought that it was really because he did not have a son, and comforted him: "Don't be sad, I have four sons, which one do you like, I will give you to be Lingzun!" ”

3. Jian Jian came home from school, immediately ran to his mother, and complained bitterly: Mom, if he is fruit... Before he could finish speaking, Jian Jian turned around, and when his mother was about to inquire, Jian Jian continued: Guo Guo had a fight with someone else, and the teacher punished him for cleaning the classroom for five days. After saying that Jian Jian turned around again, my mother looked dazed and asked in doubt: Why did you just turn around and talk to me? Jian Jian said bluntly: The teacher told us not to say bad things about people in front of others.

4. When I arrived at the door tonight, I heard my wife burping in the house, and I couldn't hold back the water, and I didn't know what she had stolen. When she saw me coming back, she said to me, "Husband, if you scare me, I won't burp!" I leaned over her ear, ready to yell. She said, "It's useless, you have to scare me to the point that it works." I thought for a moment and said, "Oh yes, I swiped my card in the bar today to spend twenty-eight thousand!" The wife stood up and said angrily, "What have you done, spending so much??" I smiled and said, "Trembling no?? Magnetic pole not?? Don't burp it, right??