1. My sister-in-law has a deposit of 300,000 yuan, and I accompany her to Country Garden to see the house. Suddenly a man shouted in the sales hall: "Why do I have 3 villas, 5 Porsches, 5 million deposits, but."

1. My sister-in-law has a deposit of 300,000 yuan, and I accompany her to Country Garden to see the house. Suddenly a man shouted in the sales hall: "Why do I have 3 villas, 5 Porsches, 5 million deposits, but I can't find a girlfriend?" The sister-in-law immediately ran over and said, "I'm willing to be your girlfriend!" The man was very happy to hear this, and he put his arm around his sister-in-law and left. A month later, the sister-in-law: "Why haven't I seen Maybach yet?" Man: "A month ago it was April Fool's Day. ”

2. Take your son to exercise in the morning, buy some breakfast and take it home. But he found that he did not bring money, and helplessly asked his son to borrow money. The son looked at me with disdain, threw me fifty yuan with disdain, and said in a serious tone: I was not cautious when I was looking for a wife, and I looked at what day you lived, I would face you for you. Son, you are quite right, but your mother is standing behind, and I can't answer you.

3. My cousin went on a blind date, I also went, the other party is also 2 people, just ordered the meal, the cousin company called, he said that he was not accompanied for a while, and then I was alone with two women to talk. By the time he returned, we had eaten all the food, and I was already getting along with one of the women. Embarrassingly, she happened to be her cousin's blind date. I got angry and said to my cousin, "Look, I said I can't come, you have to let me come, blame you!" The cousin hurriedly apologized: "Brother, you mean it, I didn't know it would be like this, you can rest assured, I won't say anything nonsense over there my sister-in-law!" I patted him on the shoulder and said, "This is a good brother." Then I whispered, "Her girlfriend is not bad, or you can get along!" As a result, the blind date also helped to say to the girlfriend: "Or you can try it?" Her daughter-in-law was immediately displeased, and said, "Sister, why is it yours that is good, and I have to ask you to pick the rest?" Oh, it turned out that they all looked at me, and I was angry at my cousin again: "Look at you, I said I can't come, you have to let me come, now what to do?" The cousin said weakly, "Brother, I will keep my mouth shut!" "Hey, it's not a matter of keeping your mouth shut now, the point is that the two women have quarreled."

4. A girl was admitted to work in a public institution, and someone had to introduce the object to the girl before, saying that she was still young and wanted to play for two more years. Recently the girl took a new driver's license, after the driver's license arrived, she asked everyone to help find a boyfriend, this huge contrast before and after made me confused, and I couldn't help but ask her why she was not in a hurry to find it before and is now in a hurry? The girl replied: My home is too close to the unit, I can't drive a car, I want to marry farther... Me: A woman's heart is under the needle, I really can't figure it out!?

5. The old man has a bad look in his eyes and went to eat at a restaurant yesterday. He saw a black dot on the wall and thought it was a nail, so he hung the soy sauce bottle on it. But the black dot was a fly, and it ended up breaking the soy sauce bottle. On the way home, there was a black dog lying on the road, and the old man thought it was a black leather jacket and picked it up, and let the black dog bite it again. Today, the old man went to the small restaurant to eat again, and when he saw a black spot on the wall, he patted it with his hand. Yesterday the boss saw my husband break the soy sauce bottle and nailed a nail in the wall, and as a result, his hand was punctured. On the way home, he saw the black thing lying in front of him, and the old man ran over with a stick and knocked the black thing up. At this time, an angry voice came: You old man, why did you break my pot!

6. After my ex-wife died on the operating table after a failed facelift, I immediately married her flight attendant girlfriend. Less than a year after the marriage, she bore me a son. At dinner last night, my wife suddenly laughed at Mimi and asked me: Husband, if you have the next life, do you want a daughter or a son? I thought of my bear son, who had a very poor study and loved to fight, and said without hesitation: of course it is a daughter. My wife directly slapped me and said: You still want to find a lover in this life, right? I:......

7. One day, a good female table sent me a message saying that she was about to get married. So I gave her a gift and gave her the gift money. The next day, my brother, whom I hadn't seen for years, also informed me that I was getting married. Then, I took the same gifts and gifts. On the third day, I saw their wedding photos in my brother's circle of friends. I really want to break off relations with them, and I don't bring such a pit man, and I am not careful to make friends!

8. In the evening, the little uncle went to the restaurant to eat, and saw the waiter girl playing V letter shake. He silently picked up the mobile phone and shook it, looked at the photo, and sure enough, it shook the waiter girl. The brother-in-law sent a V letter to her: Hey! Miss, are you free? The girl immediately replied: There is a handsome man! I'm bored and idle right now! The brother-in-law replied: When you have time, hurry up and bring the chopped pepper fish I ordered, I have been waiting for almost an hour.

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