There is a saying in the "Hu Family Training": "First light and then thick, first sparse and then dense, first far and then close, the way of making friends is also." ”
It is a great pleasure for people to mix in society and gain three or five confidants, and they can also rely on each other and move forward hand in hand.
However, most people are friends of interest, and their motives are not simple, and they cannot be prevented.
If you want to meet a true friend, you have to observe him and see people's hearts for a long time.
People with the following four characteristics are more reliable and worthy of deep friendship.
01
People with flaws: dare to show their true faces.
The French classical writer La Rochecco said: "In daily life, we often attract people because of our shortcomings rather than our strengths." ”
Gold has no feet, no one is perfect. If you want to meet a very perfect person, then you have no friends in your life, but you blow your beard and stare at anyone.
Let's say a man who loves to learn, but he snores like thunder at night; a pretty girl, but her voice is very rough.
In fact, those who dare to expose their shortcomings in front of you are the ones who have the true temperament. Hypocritical people will hide and cover up the ugly side.
Those who have shortcomings, like the moon in the first and second days of the first year, although there are many places that are dim and dull, but they still have places of progress and can slowly move towards perfection; those who are perfect, that is, the moon of the fifteenth, are doomed to lose.
Dating should be long-term, not because of one or two things that are obstructive, negating a person.
All perfection is touted, and you should not believe it.
02
People with fetishes: insist on going to the sun.
The literary scholar Zhang Dai said: "People have no habits, they cannot have intercourse, and they have no affection." ”
A person who has no hobbies, has nothing to do every day, time is wasted, and people will become sleepy. People with fetishes live to the fullest and show signs of progress.
"The Surprise of the Second Moment Shooting" tells about a person who likes to collect paper, named Wang Yigong, born in the Song Dynasty.
Every day when he goes out, he pays attention to where there is waste paper. Even if it was waste paper in the toilet, he would rinse it with water and dry it for writing.
Later, his son Wang Zeng, in one fell swoop, served as an official in the dynasty. He was also given the title of Duke of Yiguo.
The world sighed that this was a blessing from loving words and loving paper.
An inconspicuous hobby, but let an ordinary family, into a bookish door.
Zhou Guoping wrote in "When You Learn to Be Alone": "The habit of reading can make people gain a broader vision, a more colorful world. ”
Reading is a process of accumulating sand into a tower, which can change the fate and make the family more and more prosperous.
Similarly, illustration, chess, fishing, dancing, playing the piano... As long as it is a noble hobby, it can make people develop their ambitions. If you make friends with such a person, after hearing about it, you will become noble yourself.
03
People who share a common ideal: they can walk hand in hand with you.
Most people have a goal to live. However, everyone's goals are different.
During the Jin Dynasty, Zhai Daoyuan of Nanyang and Zhou Zinan of Runan, when they were young, were good friends. They meet, settle down together in Xunyang, and become a noble hermit.
The lieutenant of the dynasty, knowing that both of them were very talented, sent someone to lobby and hope that they would become officials.
Zhou Zinan coveted the high-ranking official Houlu and agreed; Zhai Daoyuan was unmoved, and his confidence in seclusion was strengthened. Since then, their feelings have faded, and they have met and not spoken.
Confucius said, "The Tao is different and does not conspire with each other." ”
The people who can fight with you are because we all have the same ideals. Along the way, encourage each other and pull each other along.
If you want to do something, make the same type of friends, so that even if you make a profit together, it is a good thing.
For example, if you want to lose weight, you have to be with people who are very fat and want to get thin, not with people who are in good shape; if you want to open a restaurant, you have to make friends with chefs and hotel owners.
In ancient times, Yu Boya met Zhong Zi period, they all liked the piano, together know how to play the piano, one knows how to listen to the piano, so he created the ancient beauty of "mountain flowing water meets Zhiyin".
04
Filial piety: Very kind to others.
Mencius once said: "Faith in friends has a way, things are close to each other, and faith in friends is good." Pleasing relatives has a way, reflexively insincere, displeased with kinship. ”
That is to say, to trust a person, it is necessary to see if he can please his parents. To please your parents, you must be sincere and understand what kindness is.
In ancient times, people believed that "filial piety touched the heavens". A person who is good to his parents is a big person who can stand up to the sky.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao promoted filial piety, but his subordinate Kong Rong, self-righteous, said: "Father and son have no relatives, lust is ear-eared; children and mothers are ruthless, and things are out of the bottle." ”
Cao Cao was very angry and not only dismissed him, but also punished him.
A person who even looks down on his parents, you are still friends with him, then you are looking at the wrong person, and after you give him everything, you will not be grateful, but there will be a joke of "fighting rice to raise revenge".
Parents are wholeheartedly good for their children, and this licking love, only those who are vicious will take revenge.
True friends must be good people, otherwise they are dancing with wolves, which is not good for themselves.
05
Pufffer said, "The person who wants to make friends with everyone is not anyone's friend." ”
Friends don't care about quantity, they need quality, if it's just a general friend, it's better to be alone; if it's just smelly, it's a swarm of flies and mosquitoes.
Friends are not flawless, but they must guide you to be positive and upward, and they will definitely take you step by step to a higher level.
Friends need boundaries, they can't overstep their bounds, and they can't interfere with their families. At a certain time, each has different development prospects, and they will respect each other.
Friends need to be generous in their dealings, not to entangle rotten people and bad things, and not to consider gains and losses.
There is a saying that goes: "In this world, everyone is a separate circle, can have a part of the area, and the person who overlaps with you is a friend." ”
People come and go, make friends and make hearts; fate comes and goes, let nature take its course.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.