1. Go to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, just brought some specialties over, Feitian Maotai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and were attentive to me

1. Go to the female colleague's home as a guest, there is nothing to take, just brought some specialties over, Feitian Moutai two boxes, Huazi five. The female colleague's parents smiled after receiving the gift, and they were attentive to me. After a while, the husband of the female colleague returned from work, carrying a bundle of green onions in his hand, and the parents of the female colleague directly rolled their eyes. During the meal, the female colleague's father asked me: "Boy, is there any object?" I see that you have such good conditions, there should be a lot of girls chasing you! "I subconsciously glanced at my female colleagues, most of them, but she didn't allow me to touch them." The female colleague glared at me and kicked me from under the table, I was angry, kicked back, and kicked her mother. Her mother gave me a blank look and didn't say a word. The husband of the female colleague felt that the atmosphere was not right, and some dull smoking, said: "Dad, you have smoked Chinese?" Have you made a fortune? The female colleague's father was not angry and said: "You are waiting for me to get rich?" You can't honor me a few times!" The female colleague's husband smiled awkwardly. The mother of the female colleague said: "These are all brought by Xiao Qiang, you look at the people Maotai, Huazi. ... When you first came to mention the relatives, you didn't take so much." Hey, my daughter got married early! The face of the female colleague's husband was suddenly wrong, he got up and slammed the door, and the female colleague's mother took the opportunity to say: "Boy, what do you think of my girlfriend?" Her father also said: "True love doesn't care about the second marriage, right?" The female colleague said: "What you said when you were naughty, how to say it now!" I suddenly found that there was no good person in this house, and I got up to say goodbye, and the female colleague snorted, came over and pinched me, and said: "Load, you will install it for me!" Say, marry an old woman or not? "I was afraid that their family of three would beat me, but I was a principled person, and in order not to be punched in the face, I said yes." Then, after tonight, I regret it again, what can they do?

2. In the middle of the night, the father helped his son cover the quilt and was ready to turn off the lights, but the son suddenly trembled and said: Dad, there is someone under my bed, the father does not believe, lie down and look, there is really a boy exactly like the son under the bed, the boy is dead tugging on the sleeve of the father, and said in a trembling voice: "Daddy, there is someone in my bed, I am so afraid of ,????? Finally, the father beat the twin sons fiercely!!?

3. When my parents were not at home, I stole my father's treasured liquor. This is my brother once with liquor, only drank a glass of wine and got drunk. When I woke up, I found myself tied to a pole by a rope. I was confused and hurriedly asked my mother what was going on. My mother told me the truth, and I smoked a cigarette when I was drunk and shouted at my father: "You are a cow, usually give me so little pocket money, do you call Hanako?" Get some money for the little master! "In the end, it was my mother who swore to die to save my life!"

4. The aunt ran a red light and was hit by a Porsche Cayenne into a vegetative state, and the owner lost more than 5 million. After the uncle got the money, he immediately divorced his aunt and married a 21-year-old flight attendant. Now that the two have been married for 8 years, the uncle's hidden money has never been discovered by the flight attendant. The main reason is that the flight attendant is afraid of dogs, and then the uncle spends a lot of money to buy a Tibetan mastiff, usually hiding the private money under the kennel! Until one day, the Tibetan mastiff broke his kennel, dozens of hundreds of yuan bills, all of which were blown away by the wind...

5. At night, I take my dad to the hospital. Nurse: Are there 20? Dad: No, only one for 50! Nurse: I'm asking you for your age! Dad: Oh, I'm 56! Nurse: Got a fever? Dad: Hmm. Nurse: How high? Dad: 173. Nurse: I'm asking how many degrees you burn! Dad: The shochu I just drank is a century-old fool, 32 degrees!

6. My brother talked to his girlfriend for 5 years and now breaks up. Me: Why break up? Don't you always go to her house? My brother said: I go every day! Me: What did you do when you went? Brother: Her mother is willing to talk to me, and she calls me every day without going! Me: When I went to school, the Chinese teacher said that you couldn't grasp the point, and it seems that you are not wrong!?

7. At Christmas time, the game is out of Christmas mode. Once I played Christmas mode with my friends, I managed to make it to the final round, and there were two people left in the house. I said to my friend: I'll rush first, and you'll make up your gun in the back. The friend said: Okay, no problem. As a result, I just rushed up to the second floor and my friend threw a dancing thunder up, so I suddenly began to dance awkwardly, and then I was killed, and finally ate a chicken butt.

8. I'm idle at home and like to watch the king live, especially the game, my wife has not shown it to me. In order to watch the game live, I said to my wife: live broadcast is like the first marriage, replay is like the second marriage, do you say I should watch the live broadcast or should I watch the replay? In this way, my wife didn't care that I stayed up late to watch the game game. On this day, I was sleeping soundly, and I was suddenly woken up by my wife: Get up quickly, and the game began. At that time, I was drowsy, so I said: Let's watch it tomorrow! My wife twisted my ear and said sharply: What, you want to get married for the second time?

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