1. After work, the female colleague wanted to rub the car and ask me to send her home. To take her to the door, I had intended to leave, but she repeatedly invited me in for tea. I was stunned when I walked in the door, the female colleague's house

1. After work, the female colleague wanted to rub the car and ask me to send her home. To take her to the door, I had intended to leave, but she repeatedly invited me in for tea. When I entered the door, I was stunned, the female colleague's house was really too messy, I had a slight cleaning habit, so I did not plan to go, helped her clean up the house, busy for several hours, the sky was full of stars, which made the house clean. As soon as I looked at my phone, it was already eleven o'clock in the evening, and I offered to say goodbye. The female colleague stopped me and asked angrily, "Brother, after cleaning the housework, you will leave?" So why have you been busy for so long? "I said to keep your house clean and tidy." The female colleague asked, "And then?" "I said I was tired from work and wanted to go home and rest. The female colleague became more and more angry: "What? I can't rest you in such a big house? I suddenly had a stroke of genius and asked, "Do you rent this house?" Rent me one, I take care of cleaning the house and cooking. Then you count me cheaper! The female colleague readily agreed. After moving in, I diligently did housework and cooked every day, but the female colleague was quite critical and talked to me, she said: "Brother, I thought you were enlightened, I didn't expect you.... I ask you again, you have done so much, what is it for?" "The market price of her house is 1600, now count me 500, you say I am for what, less than 1100 rent."

2, the husband to go to the field for a month of business evening wife to help him pack his luggage, put a box set on the clothes. And told the husband that he really couldn't hold back and must wear a condom, the husband looked at it and angrily threw the condom aside, and the wife hugged the husband and said you are so good. The husband took his wife's hand and said how can you live so badly, this box of sets we keep for ourselves to use I use them.

3. Accidentally found Dad's private money hidden at the foot of the window. I was ecstatic to look at the Red Bulls. So I opened my mouth and shouted my mother, and as soon as I issued a "mom" word, my father kicked me and flew away. Suddenly crying, my mother heard the sound and rushed to the scene. I saw my dad wrapping himself around me and coaxing: Ah... The baby doesn't cry, it hurts to fall under the window, right?

4. At the beginning of the month, the husband has no pocket money and asks his wife for money. Husband: Wife, this month's pocket money... Wife: Oh, wait a minute, I'll give it to you right away. After a while, holding a large handful of coins: Come, give you pocket money, and you count yourself. Husband: Wife, can't you just give me a whole dollar for more than a dollar? Wife: You don't understand this! Pocket money, pocket money, give you a whole sheet, can it still be called pocket money?

5, my girlfriend is learning to drive, I have nothing to do in the afternoon to follow and see. The coach has been cursing, the temper is very hot, and I was terrified to see it one afternoon! Just in a climbing lot, after the girlfriend turned off the fire N times, the coach split his head and covered his face and fell down: You said that you were so stupid, you were very smart when you sold my car, and the smart energy that pit my money is not used here at all!?

6. The sister-in-law officially broke up with her boyfriend the next day, and in order to make the scumbag regret it, she wanted to borrow the Porsche of her husband's company. Although the sister-in-law has a driver's license for several years, she rarely drives. In the morning, when I was still dreaming, I was woken up by my sister-in-law's phone. Confused, I listened to my sister-in-law whisper, "Sister-in-law, I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbags, and what is the insurance company phone number?" Don't worry, the car is no big deal!?"

7. I was a programmer in an IT company, and I usually coded with the computer all day, and as a result, I got cervical spondylosis. Today I have a cervical spondylosis and my neck hurts. My cousin opened a chicken farm, he said: "I have a chicken neck is crooked, I plan to help it straighten, the result is a wipe, my God, the chicken's neck is soft, I am afraid that a wipe will be broken, so I let go and throw it, and the result is that the chicken servant is ribbed, and the chicken is jumping around alive!" I looked at him expectantly, and my cousin immediately waved his hand and said, "Don't look at me like this, I can't throw you away!" ”

8. When a friend was taking a hot spring, he suddenly urinated urgently, so he buried his entire body in the water to solve the problem. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" The security guard quickly dragged him out of the water and fined him 800 yuan, it turned out that the merchant had put the drug in the water, and the drug changed color when it met with urine. The sister-in-law has been dancing for many years, has a hot body, and is married to a rich man. Last night, my sister-in-law's husband celebrated his 50th birthday and called us to go to the hotel for dinner to celebrate. Dinner was sumptuous and everyone was delighted. Just as I stood up to toast my sister-in-law's husband, a woman popped out from under the table, and we were all startled! ?

9, like to order takeaway, because it is convenient, will not delay my work time. Today I ordered yellow braised chicken, ribs and two bowls of rice. Because I can't eat spicy, I will note: yellow braised chicken is not spicy. All that was left was ribs and two bowls of rice. I called the merchant and asked, "Why didn't the yellow stewed chicken come over?" The merchant replied: "Don't do the yellow stewed chicken you wrote." ”

10, Dad's company is bankrupt, I have no money to spend. I had to find a place to work, the company that went to work had to wear their uniforms, in the winter, I was confused and put on the autumn coat and coat and went out, when I went to dinner at noon, it was full of red, I was wearing a black coat alone in the queue to eat, when it was my turn, my aunt gave me a full spoon, and my colleague said: It seems that my aunt is the person who treats you as a management person.

11. Drive back to your hometown with your big brother and chat all the way. Suddenly my brother asked my sister-in-law to take the driver's license as well. My sister-in-law said that I took the driver's license, are you planning to give me this car and buy a new car yourself? My brother said: What to open? Your driver's license was given to deduct points for me...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #