1, the sister-in-law's bed is broken, my wife this time is just bad, my sister-in-law came to my house to sleep, and said that the two people only sleep together, and do not do anything else. Every night I was anxious like a monkey

1, the sister-in-law's bed is broken, my wife this time is just bad, my sister-in-law came to my house to sleep, and said that the two people only sleep together, and do not do anything else. Every night I was anxious like a monkey. The sister-in-law was very enthusiastic and took care of all the housework at home. He also went to the bathroom to wash all the dirty clothes and dirty pants. Because there's my panties inside. I'm embarrassed to let my sister-in-law wash it. So when she didn't pay attention, she sneaked out her underwear. Tucked it into the pocket of my clothes. Unexpectedly, the sister-in-law turned around and found it. She said in amazement. I didn't wash it. When I wash it for you, you take it and wipe your mouth, feeling that she thinks I put a handkerchief in my pocket. I cried and laughed. It's all right, I'll wipe my mouth for another day and let you wash it tomorrow.

2, my wife did not let me smoke, the pipe is particularly strict, once secretly smoking was found. At that time, my daughter-in-law threw me out, and as a result, she met Old Zhao next door, so she complained to Old Zhao Bao. After listening to it, Old Zhao smiled and said to me: "Brother don't say it, you will come to my house to smoke later." Curiously, I asked: Is it true that your daughter-in-law doesn't care about you? Old Zhao said with a bad smile: My daughter-in-law said that only guests from home let me smoke.

3. A beautiful thoroughbred dog came to our back porch and made it our home. My husband wrote a notice that he planned to post in the community's "Lost and Found" column. He wrote: "The puppy, male, nearly nine months old, collarless, friendly, found on Stonebridge Road. "I was worried that revealing too many details in this way would give opportunities to those who had a bad conscience to ask for dogs, so at my insistence, my husband rewrote the notice." He wrote, "Guess what I picked up? ”??

4. My father-in-law was the class teacher of my high school, and my brother was very nervous when he went to his house to see him once. The mother-in-law was cooking and was not embarrassed to help. A large table of dishes was laid out, and I picked up the national cellar 1573 and poured a large cup for my father-in-law, and I thanked my father-in-law. But my father-in-law said that he did not drink, and I held up my wine glass and was embarrassed there. At this time, the mother-in-law took the wine glass and grunted and dried it all. Just like this, the brother once went to the boyfriend's house and was given under the table by his mother-in-law.

5. The chicken asks the hen: Can you take me out to play without laying eggs? Hen said: No, I want to work! The chicken said: But you have laid so many eggs! The hen said meaningfully to the chick: one egg a day, the kitchen knife stands on the side, no eggs are laid in January, see you in the pressure cooker. Children remember that they exist because you create value, and elimination is because you lose value. The value of the past does not represent the future, so work hard every day!

6. Lao Wang mixed into a villa, and there was no one there. At first, Lao Wang was still trembling, but later Lao Wang became more and more bold, went to the kitchen to get food, and when he was full, he went to the bedroom on the second floor to hang out. At night he hid under the bed, only to see no one at eleven o'clock, and then he saw a duffel bag under the bed, curious to open it to see that it was all money.

7. My husband took advantage of my bath, peeked at my mobile phone, and found a text message: "So-and-so hotel, room 306." I came out of the shower and said, "I'll go out to the party in a moment and come back later." The husband smiled and said, "Okay, I see." Just as I was singing a happy birthday song with a group of friends around the cake in the hotel room, a strange man wearing a mask and holding a kitchen knife suddenly kicked the door open, then calmly walked over, cut the cake open, and said: "This is the service provided by this hotel for free, I wish you a happy meal, happy birthday!" ”

8, just yesterday just paid 22,000 yuan salary, after work to eat the buffet, after the full wine and meal, just about to get up and go, but was stopped by the waiter, had to let me make up the difference. I looked at the empty table and asked angrily: Sister, I don't have leftovers, why should I make up the difference? The waiter said: Yes sir, you are not wasteful, but! We 19 yuan buffet hot pot, you did not eat anything, came to eat our five pounds of abalone, three pounds of lobster, but also drank two boxes of red wine, a box of yogurt, you said is not the need to make up the difference?

9, girlfriend in the third year of college made a boyfriend, is a pure love of the little boy. The brother once went out with the boy, it was too late, staying in the hotel, this girl herself was confused and fell asleep in bed, and the next day woke up to see that her boyfriend was still sitting at the table reading a book! She asked, "What did you do last night?" Boyfriend: I read a penal book one night...?

10, with the girlfriend alone birthday, drink two more drinks, she took advantage of my drunkenness to ask me about the breakup with the former, I did not bother her to say it all, the reason is that my mobile phone pulled the car, the ex-girlfriend drove the girlfriend out to play, who thought that her girlfriend's face actually unlocked my mobile phone, so I broke up. My girlfriend got angry when she heard it, scratched me and scolded me for being a scumbag with two boats. Angry, I yelled at her, "Are you stupid? Isn't her girlfriend just you? ”

11. Drive back to your hometown with your big brother and chat all the way. Suddenly my brother asked my sister-in-law to take the driver's license as well. My sister-in-law said that I took the driver's license, are you planning to give me this car and buy a new car yourself? My brother said: What to open? Your driver's license was given to deduct points for me...

#Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #