1. Without consulting with his parents, he secretly bought a house of 3 million yuan. The monthly mortgage is more than 8,000, and finally it is overdue, call my dad's place. When I got home, I saw my dad

1. Without consulting with his parents, he secretly bought a house of 3 million yuan. The monthly mortgage is more than 8,000, and finally it is overdue, call my dad's place. When I got home, I saw my dad walk into the second-floor bedroom without a word. Then there was a cacophony of noise from the room, accompanied by the sound of falling things. A few minutes later Dad came out with a dusty box. Dad said: You take the gold bars inside to sell it, the excess money is taken to buy a car to drive, your father and I drive a Land Rover every day, you drive a broken Honda, the family is not without money, you still mortgage to buy a house? ay! I wanted to be on my own

2. I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, and the day before yesterday she suddenly called and told me that she was going to break up with me. I wanted to save the relationship and came to her city overnight, where I found her and asked her why. I saw the watch she held out her left hand to show me and said, "Look at how fast the second hand moves, there is absolutely no error." I seemed to understand, and said in frustration: "You mean that the clock can go back to the beginning, but it is no longer that moment, right?" She gave me a blank look and said disdainfully, "This is Vacheron Constantin, and you can't afford it for the rest of your life." ”

3. I remember that I used to have an awkward relationship with my wife, and I slept in a small room. She was still very angry, so she cut a hole in my mosquito net with scissors and said, "Let the mosquitoes bite you." I thought to myself that the mosquitoes had a good time tonight... After an hour, my wife came with transparent glue, and my heart was touched! My wife is a knife mouth tofu heart, I was just about to say something, she said to herself: "Mosquitoes are almost in, don't let them run... Ran..."

4. Return home at night after carrying cement. I received a sales call from the real estate center. I said: I have several sets now, and I really don't have much money. After the sales listened, there was silence for a few seconds: So your house is not for sale? Now that the house price is so high, it will definitely reduce the price if it is not sold. I felt that it was impossible not to tell the truth, so I said: In fact, I am very poor, I have no house and cannot afford to buy a house, and I am in debt. After a few seconds of silence in sales, he said: Tomorrow there is a building opening, bring a chair to queue up at night, and give you 500 yuan a day! I was very impressed, this is the real sales!?

5. Last night, the female manager asked me to drive with her to meet customers, and socialized until twelve o'clock in the evening, so she opened two rooms in the Super 8 hotel and slept. At two o'clock in the morning, I was awakened by a phone call from the female manager, who said that she was alone in the room and was afraid and asked me to accompany her. I woke up suddenly, and I said you can come to my room and sleep. Then I went to her room when she came, and then I was fired when I went back to work...

6. Mom and Dad quarreled, Dad smashed the TV in a rage, and Mom smashed the microwave! A few days later, I asked my dad, "Why did you smash the TV?" Dad said: "I wanted to replace the 38-inch TV with a 60-inch TV, but your mother just won't." I later asked my mother, "Why did you smash the microwave oven at that time?" Mom said, "I've long wanted to change to a new one, but your dad is too expensive." "I think the next time you two quarrel, I'll smash something and try..."

7. When I was a child, when there was no TV at home, I always stood in front of other people's windows and watched TV. Dad looked in his eyes, and finally one day he discussed with his mother: "How tired is it for my son to stand in front of other people's windows all day watching TV!" No matter how bitter you are, you can't be bitter children! "I heard that called a thrill! The mother then said, "Why don't you discuss with the family and let him stand in front of the door and watch!?"

8. The landlord came to collect the rent, took the receipt and asked me in surprise: In the whole building, you have the least water bill, only two dollars, how did you do it? I said: I'm just a washing machine, pots and pans without a single one! The landlord said: Alas, I am worried about you, hurry up and find a girlfriend! Me: Can you still spread the water bill well? Don't say this, which pot you don't open which pot! The landlord said lightly: Don't forget, you don't even have a pot, you don't...

9. There is a flight attendant in the airline, because she is beautiful, so colleagues around her like to call her a goddess. Ever since I came to the company, she had to let me call her naughty goddess. After a long time, I asked her to go to dinner with me, but every time I came out to play, she took her girlfriend with me. It upset me until one time I went out to play just when it was raining and wet my clothes. Then the three of them stayed in a hotel and I understood why I called her Naughty Goddess....

10. The neighbor's sister is very beautiful, and when I went out to play today, I met her, and although my heart was moving, I didn't dare to act. After Dad knew, he said, "Son, when I was as old as you, I would definitely kiss her directly, and she would never resist." Facing my adoring eyes, Dad continued, "Because when I was your age, she was only 1 year old. ” ?

11. Today my sister-in-law helped me to get the courier, but I was in a hurry, and when I went upstairs, I fell and broke my knee. Seeing that she was so aggrieved, I drove Maserati to take her to the mall to buy some things, but Armani's counter did not have her usual color number for the time being. The salesman said, "Arrive tomorrow, or you'll buy it tomorrow!" "The next day I went home from work, and after eating, I watched the drama as always and forgot about buying lipstick." The sister-in-law suddenly blushed, and the wife asked, "What's wrong with you?" Sister-in-law: "My knees suddenly hurt!" #Funny Moment #Humor Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #