Does your child behave in the following ways: In kindergarten, all the children participate in group activities, but he has always resisted joining, is particularly timid and unsociable; Because of picky eating, you loudly reprimanded him for "you can't just eat meat and not vegetables", and he began to shed tears; Seeing the touching plot in the cartoon, he can't help but cry; Doing things with too much consideration for other people's feelings, and the rejection of others will make him very painful and sad.
Faced with this situation, you may often wonder if your child will be too "glass-hearted" and if there is any psychological problem. In fact, such children may simply have highly sensitive personality traits.
Highly sensitive personality traits may be related to genetics and family environment. Everyone has a different temperament, which is determined by genetic material and is normal.
In addition, the family environment and parenting style can also affect the child's personality. For example, when encountering things, if parents often deny their children's thoughts and refuse to listen to their children's inner voices, in the long run, children are prone to become sensitive and lack self-confidence.
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Highly sensitive children will have the following symptoms:
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1. Low tear spots.
Children with high sensitivity are more likely to be emotional, crying, and anxious than their peers. When you see a touching plot when you watch a cartoon, listen to a song and hear the sad part, you can't help but cry. If this trait is present in boys, parents often count the child as unmanly. In fact, this is just a manifestation of a highly sensitive personality trait, which is normal.
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2. Afraid of high volume, annoying noise, like quiet.
Highly sensitive children are afraid of hearing loud sounds and especially hate noise. If you go to some noisy places, highly sensitive children will feel uncomfortable; If the parent reprimands loudly, tears will roll in the eyes. In an elegant, quiet place, highly sensitive children will feel very comfortable. In addition, highly sensitive children are very resistant to foods with strong smells. These feelings are sometimes beyond the control of the child.
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3. Good at observing words and feelings, and have strong empathy.
Highly sensitive children are observant and pay special attention to details that are not easy to detect. He will notice that your brother is hungry before you do, he will quickly notice that you are unhappy, he will notice that there is a conflict between his classmates, etc. At the same time, these children are cautious and often need to make judgments before acting. Sensitive children with high awareness will unconsciously agree with others' views and do not know how to refuse in order to avoid being affected by other people's or their own emotions.
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4. Long time to adapt to the new environment.
It takes a long time for a highly sensitive child to meet new people or adjust to a new environment. In public, highly sensitive children are more introverted and seem a little out of place. Parents who are not very well informed may feel frustrated and wonder if there is something wrong with their child and why they can't integrate into the environment and make new friends as quickly as other children.
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How parents educate and guide
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1. Accept and understand your child's emotions instead of "extinguishing" them.
When a child has a strong emotional reaction because of some trivial things, parents should not blindly blame the child and ask the child not to cry. At this time, parents only need to sit quietly next to the child, pat the child's head, listen to his heart, and accept his emotions. Highly sensitive children sometimes just need to "break down", and this is not something that parents can help to alleviate or change. Parents should tell their children that people can have many emotions, such as sadness, sadness, happiness, doubt, jealousy, etc., which are normal, and learn to live with emotions. After the child's emotional storm has passed, parents can talk to their child in a timely manner, but remember not to nag and stop in moderation.
2. Adapt to your child's personality and make your child more confident.
Highly sensitive children often hate noise, fear noisy environments, and are a bit picky about food. Instead of forcing children to eat things they don't like and participate in activities they don't like, parents should let children do what they like, and children will be more confident. Highly sensitive children can participate in more art activities, such as painting, handicrafts, music, dance, etc., which can help children express their inner emotions and cultivate creativity. Highly sensitive children can also participate in some nature experience activities. These activities can develop their sense of responsibility and make them more caring.
3. Avoid transmitting too much negative energy to your child and teach your child to say "no".
Highly sensitive children have strong empathy skills and can be a very reliable friend. But even the wisest children cannot bear the pressure of adults, and they need more strength from their parents than from being snatched. Parents should not convey too many negative emotions, reduce the desire to control, learn to listen, support and encourage their children, and enhance their children's self-confidence.
Parents should teach their children to say "no", so that they understand that they have the right to say "no", have the right to refuse the unreasonable demands of others, and not let their strong empathy ability become a stumbling block on the road to growth. You can tell your child, "We can't make everyone like us, there will always be people who criticize and someone who agrees." In that case, we might as well do what we love. ”
4. Encourage your child to adapt to the new environment as soon as possible.
A small step forward every day can make great progress in the long run. Parents can try to communicate with the teacher, try to arrange a kind classmate for their child to be at the same table, and encourage the child to share his snacks with his classmates.
When your child is tired from school, you can try to tell your child, "I have asked the teacher for leave, so you don't have to go to school today." "When a child withdraws, parents need to be a solid supporter for their child. If there are a lot of guests in the house and the child is very timid and shy, parents should not feel ashamed, they can tell the child: "If you feel very unwell, you can always go back to the room, and if someone asks, I will give you a reason." ”
If the child is in a bad mood for several weeks, always loves to cry, does not like the things he was interested in before, and feels physically tired and tired of school every day, parents should be highly vigilant at this time. This may not only be caused by the child's highly sensitive traits, but may also involve emotional problems, which require timely consultation with a professional psychologist.
Source: Student Health News
Editor: Liu Jiyue
Review: Pan Huahong, Yan Yan