1, Xiaoming said: "Class teacher, I miss my former tablemates!" The class teacher asked, "Who do you think?" Xiaoming said, "My former tablemate, he is tall and handsome, and."

1, Xiaoming said: "Class teacher, I miss my former tablemates!" The class teacher asked, "Who do you think?" Xiaoming said: "My former tablemate, he is tall and handsome, and his skin is particularly white, and his temper is also particularly good." Anyway, I can't fight back, scold and don't return the mouth, even if I accidentally draw something on him, he won't be angry. The class teacher asked doubtfully, "Really?" Who were your former tablemates? And such a good person? Xiaoming said excitedly, "Wall." ”

2, I lay on the bed to brush the video, watch the live broadcast, found that 9 of the 10 videos are patting the feet of the girl? Either shaking their feet or taking off their socks, they don't bring goods to sell stockings, why take a video of a stinky foot girl? Do you also say that patting your feet can fire? What logic is this? Isn't it the era of looking at faces now, it's changed to looking at feet? I asked my wife: Why do those anchors shoot stinky feet? Are feet worth more than faces? The wife said: Old Nine, have you ever eaten pork? I nodded incomprehensibly. The wife said: Pig trotters are expensive or pig head meat is expensive? Seems to make some sense.

3, the radio station's song program received a call from an 8-year-old girl, "I want to order a song for my mother, she has to take me every day to learn English, play the piano, draw, dance, play chess, and many more things, and now she goes out to buy me practice questions." "Then your mother is really hard, you are also a good child, what song do you want to order for her?" The host asked movingly. "I want to order a song called "Why Women Are Embarrassed Women.""

4, Dad has nothing to do after retirement, and the yard is full of roses that Mom likes. Today I took my son to play, and as a result, he pulled out all the roses planted by my father and gave them to the female classmates! My father was actually not angry, and said happily: "It seems that this boy is a heavy color pit daddy's goods, so I am relieved, there is reincarnation in the world!" "I actually heard my cruel old age!

5, my wife and I are introduced to my wife and her aunt. Today, I quarreled with my wife and her aunt advised me: I really shouldn't have introduced my niece to you in the first place! She doesn't deserve you! In fact, before she, I was planning to introduce a big beautiful woman! My eyes lit up: Big beauty! Who is it? Her aunt? It is the golden lotus that our village has conquered three husbands in succession! Shall I introduce you to the fourth term? I went to apologize to my wife.

6, the second brother's sister-in-law is not only very good-looking, but also very thrifty, usually buy clothes online are staying up late to grab coupons, the money that can be saved will be saved. Two days ago, she asked me to borrow two thousand yuan, and when she repaid the money, she told me that she could pay me back one thousand and eight, and the other two hundred should invite her to dinner. I was shocked and I said, "Okay, then you're going to be my girlfriend!" And she said, "What?" Two hundred bucks to dare me be your girlfriend? The roadside pick-up still has to start at three hundred, at least give me five hundred to promise you!

7, the mother-in-law successfully interviewed the secretary of Wanda Group, and happily called me to go to her house for dinner. At dinner, she introduced me to buy a double-door refrigerator, saying that it was only 500 yuan, or a brand name, especially easy to use! I thought to myself, it just so happens that the refrigerator at home has been around for a long time, so let's change it! When the refrigerator moved, the mother-in-law also said: This is all bought by acquaintances, only 500, the original price is more than 1000! If you don't believe it, you can search online! See I don't want to search, the mother-in-law picked up the mobile phone herself and swept it up... After two minutes, the scan shows: This product does not exist!

8. The most popular tree in China. Many cities have their own "city trees", ginkgo biloba is favored by 33 cities, designated as the city tree, locust tree is better, is the city tree of 52 cities, but the strongest is also the camphor is hand-picked by a total of 70 cities, covering nearly 1/4 of China.

9, buddy suddenly asked me today: "Have you found that my wife and your wife have a very normal relationship?" I asked, "What do you mean?" "They often wear couples outfits, and I've found that they have several sets of underwear like the same." ”

10, rich women after retirement is getting fatter and fatter, want to lose weight. At this time, the rich woman saw that there were diet pills on the Internet that claimed to take a course of treatment and promised to refund the invalidity. Although it is very expensive, the rich woman's weight loss heart is eager to buy this diet pill online. After the goods arrived, the rich woman saw that the instructions said, take it every two hours! Take one capsule twelve times daily on an empty stomach!

11. After graduating from his cousin's master's degree, he worked in the construction company of his girlfriend's father, and they broke up and their jobs were dismissed. The ex-girlfriend's father compensated his cousin for two months' salary and went to the bank to withdraw money to pay off the mortgage on this day. The bank teller asked, "Sir, how much do you take?" Cousin: "Finished." The teller was stunned and asked, "Are you sure you want to finish it?" Cousin: "Sure, I'm done." After a while, the teller actually took out all 580,000 from his cousin's card. The uncle scolded angrily: "70,000, don't you understand?" What's the point of taking it all? Am I mouthy? ”

12, the old man changed a Porsche Cayenne and gave me the old Magotan. I drove the old Magotan and ran didi near the train station. Pulled a flight attendant, especially a lot of luggage, and when I arrived, I helped her move in. Before she could enter the door, she shouted into the villa, "Mommy and Daddy, I'm back, and I'm back with my boyfriend." Her parents came out to greet her with great enthusiasm, and her nanny slaughtered chickens and fish. Now that I've been staying at her house for 5 days, how do I get her to pay me to get me home? She wouldn't be attracted to me, would she?

13, Xiao Zhang: How good it is for me to be a motorcycle driver when I grow up. Me: Why? Xiao Zhang: When the driver of the motorcycle does not solicit customers, I can go around for a ride, pull to the places that the passengers do not know, I can navigate, and I can also play a circle over there! That way I can travel everywhere.

14, take the girlfriend to see the horror movie, the couple of couple girls around them are scared to drill into the arms of the boyfriend, only the girlfriend seems to be fine. Asked her several times if she was afraid or not? The girlfriend who didn't understand the style actually said that it wasn't scary enough. There was no way I could do anything but to bury my head in her arms. Hey! Put a buddy next to envy don't don't want!!