Last night, after work late, too hungry to buy half a roast duck on the side of the road, took a taxi with gloves to eat, ate and ate, the driver master angrily said: "Girl, you know to eat in the car."

Last night, after work, too hungry to buy half a roast duck on the side of the road, wearing gloves in a taxi to eat, eating, the driver master angrily said: "Girl, do you know that eating in the car is an uncivilized behavior?" I bit the roast duck innocently and asked, "How is it uncivilized?" The master said, "It's too hungry." belch......

2, in the evening, with my brother-in-law and the family and me out to eat, eating and eating, my sister went to the bathroom first. I asked my brother-in-law: She especially liked to be spoiled before marriage, but did she still love to be spoiled after marriage? The brother-in-law took a deep breath of his cigarette and suddenly lowered his head. With tears in his eyes, he said to me: Much better, get married, and start to spread wilderness...

3. The attentive vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on a new house, and while he sprinkles some dirt on the floor, he says to the hostess: "Ma'am, if my vacuum cleaner can't suck all the dirt and dust clean, I will eat them!" The angry hostess said: "Then eat quickly, this place is affected by the typhoon, and the power has been cut off for 3 days!" ”

4, graduated from college, once in the Rolls-Royce 4S shop window there to see the car, I yearn for ah! A beautiful saleswoman came out and said politely: "Sir, you come in to see, you can rest while I introduce you in detail!" I smiled and said, "Thank you, I can just look at it, I can't afford it." The beautiful woman said, "Just because you can't afford it now doesn't mean you can't afford it in the future. "So I went in for a drink and a snack to find out. It's been 8 years and I've failed that beautiful girl because I still can't afford it.......

5, a girl is a kindergarten teacher, heard that the school has a quota to go to Xinjiang to support teaching, immediately signed up, thinking of taking advantage of the young to go out to see the world, while making some contributions to the cause of education. Kindergarten is the need to be familiar with each child, and remember the child's name, which is the first step in the teaching of kindergarten teachers. Class, the first lesson of the day, roll call. Then the girl looked at the roll and said: "But I think everyone should all come, or do you want to raise your hand?" Well, all come, then let's start lecturing.

6, quarrel with my daughter-in-law, my dictionary does not have the word "admit mistakes", kneeling on the washboard, throwing a nosebleed, rubbing cheeks, facing the daughter-in-law wearing a taekwondo suit roared angrily! Then the daughter-in-law returned with a side spin kick plus a cross lock throat, and I see that there are too many words missing in your dictionary!

7, remember the first time to the daughter-in-law's home, suddenly constipated, in her home toilet pulled a thick, large and hard rice dumplings, the result of the uneasy flush for half an hour did not rush down, finally, it was with the help of the daughter-in-law's family to flush it down! Until now, when I went to my daughter-in-law's house, the old man and the mother-in-law still had a shadow in my heart...

8, eleven eat hot pot, there is a family of four at the table, look at the uncle and aunt simple dress, a look is from the countryside. Only to see his son while pouring vegetables into the pot while persuading the old couple to eat, seeing the daughter-in-law's face of disgust, the aunt holding the chopsticks is not clipped, listen to her daughter-in-law said: Really humiliating, even the hot pot will not eat, really a farmer. Just listen to the uncle unhurriedly say: What is this that will not be eaten, just like feeding pigs in the countryside, pouring swill water and vegetable leaves into the trough, and letting the pigs pick it up to eat. I......

9, at night downstairs Xiao Li told me to go to his house to play chess, when I went out, my daughter-in-law let me throw away the garbage first and then go again, just went downstairs to pass by Xiao Li's doorstep, Xiao Li and her daughter-in-law just walked the dog back, Xiao Li daughter-in-law took the garbage in my hand and said, "You see that every time you come to the house, you don't have empty hands, what did you take for us this time..."

10, yesterday after work a little late, after returning home to see the daughter-in-law's nose stuffed with tissues, there are blood marks, to me frightened: "Daughter-in-law, what is wrong with you?" Did someone hit you? Tell me who it is. The daughter-in-law looked aggrieved: "Who beat me in the middle of the night?" I'm not looking at you haven't come back, I want to wait for you to come back to sleep together, who knows the more people wait and sleep, fall asleep on the sofa, didn't expect to play a roll, fell off the sofa, nose first hit the ground, and then that's it. ”

1 After the calculus exam, I went to the shower and did not wear glasses. As soon as I entered the bathhouse, I saw a tall and tall buddy, and when I looked, the guy's arms and belly were tattooed. Didn't dare to look more, go to the compartment to wash. A minute later, the buddy came over to borrow shampoo, I took a look at the trend, not calm down... Which is the tattoo, it's all a formula...

12, when I was a child, the winter was particularly cold, I was very lazy, there were many children at home, and my parents rarely cared about me, so I rarely washed my face in winter. At the New Year, under the supervision of my mother, I washed my face very seriously, my aunt and uncle came to visit relatives, I met them on the street, I was trying to go up to say hello, only to hear my aunt say to my uncle: You see that child, look at the back like my nephew...

13, the rich about a few good friends in business to eat, chose a seafood restaurant, ordered seafood abalone, crab, four shrimp! After weighing the prawns, the rich man swept it, quite fat, and broke off one of the legs of a prawn. After the prawns were on the table, the rich man looked for the prawns with missing legs, and a miracle happened, and the four prawns were actually complete. The head chef was called in, and the manager apologized for the phenomenon, and the meal was 30% off.

14, "I think when I was working in Jiangsu, my friend gave me all her pillows before coming home, the next one on the head, one on the left hand side, one on the right hand side, one under the left leg, one under the right leg, and one under the feet, not to mention how much I enjoyed it, and I can wake up every day when I fall asleep." After saying that, I arrogantly looked at the colleague next to me, thinking: Hey hey, you see my popularity is good! At this time, my colleague came slowly and said: Think about the position you are sleeping in, isn't it the meaning of smiling Nine Springs? I.... burst