1, one night to get up to go to the toilet, did not turn on the light, passed by the living room to see a person sitting on the sofa, she thought it was her father, she said: "Dad has not slept yet?" Then I went to the toilet. The next day, she learned that her father had not come out and that it was the thief sitting on the couch!!!!!
2, today's document out of some flaws, overtime in the company at night to modify, the great company is left with me and the boss. I suddenly went to the toilet, and when I came out, the boss was clumsily jumping and singing: The little rabbit is obedient, open the door. The boss saw me and scratched his head: This is what my girlfriend taught me last night, saying that homework must be completed, and when she comes home at night, she wants to check it, and I want to practice when I see no one. I held my red face and hurried to say goodbye, afraid that I couldn't help but laugh out loud!
3, Dad: Son, you hurry to find an object to go home, your mother does not cook, the little apple does not jump, every day to the street to find a blind date for you, poor I can only eat instant noodles every day to live. Me: Can you blame me for that? Who let you not learn to cook, only know to make instant noodles, Dad, you also learn to cook. Dad: Who said I would only make noodles, I would also have egg fried rice and noodles! Me: Then I'll be relieved. Dad: And your mom's side... Me: Let her go, I'm not blind anyway. Dad: Little bunny cub, in the mail point Master Kang came over, the instant noodles at home will be gone!
4, there is a very rich rich man who bought a very remote mansion, and this rich man also likes to write letters. It's hard to turn down the postman, who has to run for a long time every time he goes to their house to deliver the courier. This time, the courier finally couldn't help it, so he said to the rich man: "Can you buy less things, every time I have to run for so long." The rich man said slowly, "If you have any more opinions, I will subscribe to the daily newspaper." ”
5, the eldest brother and sister-in-law quarreled for several days because of a small matter and did not reconcile. The little nephew finally couldn't see it, took out two sets of school uniforms in the room and said: Mommy and Daddy, you two wear school uniforms! The eldest brother was stunned for a moment: Son, are you making us two like childhoods, and the quarrel has passed? Little nephew: Well, I think you're as childish as elementary school students.
6, I divorced my ex-wife, leaving a two-year-old son, I think the child can not live without the mother, so crazy pursuit of our company has a good feeling for me divorced female supervisor. We were living together in less than a week. I woke up this morning and the female supervisor was lying on top of me. I paused for a few seconds, then put my arms around her and said softly, "Honey, I especially feel like you are lying on top of me like this." She was immediately happy: "Then I am the Purple Xia Fairy?" Me: "No, you're Five Finger Mountain." ”
7, the old classmates as a guest, specially went to the small supermarket to get a box of soft cigarettes, 65 yuan a box, I gave 100 yuan, cashier beauty but found me 88 yuan. I was secretly happy in my heart, took the money and left! When I got to my old classmates, I took out my cigarette and said to him, Soft China to smoke one! The old classmate took a look at it, smiled and said: "Brother Long, why are you worse than me?" I smoked $13! I took a closer look at the cigarette, I came and went, the man lost his hair, this deadpool killed me, she brought me the 12 pieces of Hardmen that I often smoked!
8. Today I chatted with my 1+1 husband and talked about getting married and buying wedding dresses. My husband kept pushing back and suddenly said, "What would you do if tomorrow's news report said that a man robbed a bank just to buy a wedding dress for his wife and was sentenced to ten years?" I said, "Rest assured, I'll wait for you for ten years, and I'll marry you in this life, is it so difficult to buy a wedding dress?" "Husband:"
9. There was a rich second generation who was not sincere, and the female guest asked, "What do you do?" The second generation replied: "Driving." Suddenly, all the lights went out, and only one lamp remained. The second generation felt that the remaining one must be true love, and said, "Actually, I opened a Rolls Royce for my father." Later, they successfully held hands successfully, and before leaving, the female guest threw a wink at the host, and the host looked confused. Finally, after the props team checked, it was found that the lamp of the original female guest was broken.
10. I bought six bird's nests in RT-Mart icon, one of which cost 1899 yuan, and after I disposed of it, I put it in the refrigerator and prepared to refrigerate it before eating. Unexpectedly, I opened the refrigerator the next morning and found that the bird's nest could not be found! I asked my husband: Where is the white plastic box in the refrigerator? My husband said: I woke up hungry last night and wanted to see if there was any noodles in the refrigerator, but I didn't find the noodles, so I boiled the flour in the plastic box! I was taken aback: Didn't you put in any other spice? The husband said: Put a little vinegar and eat it together. Me: What about soup? Did you drink it? Husband: The soup is so bad, I'm all going to pour it down the toilet!
11. When I went to Fa Xiao's house yesterday, I saw his wife teaching her daughter, and in the middle of the special hand, the little guy tore his heart and lungs and cried. His wife quickly apologized to her daughter, but the son still did not spare, crying more and more severely, and the cries became louder and louder. Seeing such a poor little guy, I went to her room to try to coax her, and the little guy looked at me and said to his mother: Mom, if you want to use a beautiful boy, you can't find a good looker.
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![In 2015, Yang Zi's father died, and at the funeral, Huang Shengyicai appeared for the first time as a daughter-in-law, was hidden for 8 years, was publicly identified, and also obtained 200 million zeros a year[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)