1. The mobile phone was lent to a strange woman and her boyfriend video, at that time said for ten minutes, the result is that she and her boyfriend chatted for 2 hours and could not finish talking, I stood next to the leg are sore. I was about to get my phone back, and as soon as it appeared in the video range, her boyfriend began to scold me, questioning who the woman was. The woman also said that this is my new boyfriend. The man was furious on the other end of the phone, trying to fight with me, saying that I was hitting me. I got angry and slapped your daughter, you want to hit me? I want to hit your woman. After the woman was patted by me, she looked at me with a sad face and said, "Brother, you are really bad, where to shoot?" "I ignored her, and right now I'm fighting with your man." I don't know how long I scolded, in short, the power of the charging treasure was used up before it stopped. After I was done, I planned to go home, but the woman kept chasing after me, and I said what else do I want to do? She said, "Brother, I want to be your girlfriend!" I said why, and she said, "Brother, have you heard a word?" Far water can't quench near thirst! "I said I'd go drink water when I'm thirsty and stop following me. She said I was so stupid, I was angry at the time, the previous things made me unhappy, and now that she scolded me, I immediately pounced on her and beat her up. Unfortunately, the hand is heavy, I have to be responsible, now the salary income is all handed over to her, she gave me ten pieces of pocket money, I said well, such a good-looking woman has not been wanted!
2. I worked an extra night with my female boss at the company, which was really tiring. In the morning, when I sat in the car, I was too sleepy, so I fell asleep in the car. When I woke up, I found my head resting on the shoulder of the big brother next to me. The eldest brother was such a nice man that he didn't push me away or move me to fall. Just calmly took out a piece of toilet paper and wiped the saliva on his shoulders.?
3. I opened an old tavern, and there was a grandpa who had to eat a plate of dumplings, a plate of beef sauce, and two or two little red stars every night! I asked curiously: Your petty bourgeois life is good, how much income do you have to earn in a month to dare to be like you. Uncle: It doesn't matter if the money is less, this leisurely life, you have to be comfortable! I didn't even have a Sunday when I was busy, and I worked overtime every day! I asked what I was doing, and Uncle told me truthfully: There are 50 rented out houses. "
4. A 00-year-old wife has a child, and the wife teaches the child to be called "Daddy" every day. The husband was greatly moved, thought that the wife was really good, first taught the child to call dad, not call mom, think it is really happy. Late one winter night, the 6-month-old child cried and kept calling Daddy. At this time, the couple was sleeping soundly, and the wife pushed the husband and said: Your son is calling you, can't you hear it? Hurry up and feed your baby.?
5. The sister-in-law is the school flower of the university, which looks harmless to people and animals, but is actually a hidden foodie. A few days ago, the sister-in-law went to eat a large bowl of beef noodles, not full and embarrassed to order again. So she went out for a spin and came back to ask the boss: Did you just see someone who looked exactly like me? The boss nodded: See, she ate a bowl of noodles and left. Sister-in-law: Oh, that's my twin sister, who also brought me bowl noodles. "
6. After the pregnancy, the wife likes to eat fruit, and when she comes home after work in the evening, the wife has to argue to eat cantaloupe, so she rides around the streets in an electric car and finally sees a stall selling cantaloupe. Bargaining with the boss, but the boss is not cheap, I said impatiently: the same cantaloupe, people sell a piece of how can you sell a piece of five? The boss is also anxious: the same is the daughter-in-law, people are 100 pounds how to your 200 pounds? You and I wait to calm down.
7. When my relatives arranged for me to go on a blind date during the New Year, I didn't expect that the place where the other party made an appointment was actually the café where I worked. I took a day off and put on my clothes to meet the guy. After I went, I smiled politely and said: Hello. The guy looked at me, handed me the menu, pointed to it, and said: All of this, serve quickly, and wait for my blind date to come! I......
8. My wife was pregnant with her manager's child, and I divorced her in a huff and let her get out of the house. The landlady knew that I was in a bad mood and invited me to the stall to drink and eat skewers. Since my alcohol intake is particularly good, ten bottles of beer are under the stomach, and people are not dizzy and dizzy. Several times the landlady tried to attack me, but didn't find the opportunity. Finally, the landlady ran out of patience and directly proposed non-division to me, but I had just divorced and was not in the mood at all. I told her a pair, if you are right, you want to get my appeal, I am acceptable. I said: "Looking back on the past, it is like a dream, but I don't know that I am a guest in my dream, I am greedy and happy, and I am tired of beautiful people for no reason!" Falling flowers? How can you remember that you are delusional or unintentional, heaven and earth? The landlady was immediately confused: "So long? Who can be right? ”?
#Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #
![In 2008, "Olympic champion" Wang Junxia insisted on marrying a man who had divorced twice and had 4 children, and his mother strongly opposed: he was older than me and had so many children[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)