Arriving home from work at noon today, hungry, busy asking her daughter-in-law: "Daughter-in-law, what do you do today to eat well?" The daughter-in-law replied softly, "Very sumptuous!" There is braised beef, seafood, prawns, and pickled peppers

Arriving home from work at noon today, hungry, busy asking her daughter-in-law: "Daughter-in-law, what do you do today to eat well?" The daughter-in-law replied softly, "Very sumptuous!" There are braised beef, seafood, prawns, pickled pepper claws, scallion pork ribs, and black pepper steak. I listened to the drooling and hurriedly said, "Daughter-in-law, you are so nice!" The daughter-in-law then said: "Husband, so many flavors of instant noodles, which one do you want to make?" ”

2, that year's parents quarreled for the first time! It's very noisy! Mom kept crying! Dad doesn't coax either! Later, when my mom was tired, I went to sleep for three days and my mom woke up and looked at my dad's first words: Go! Go find that pharmacy owner! There is something wrong with his sleeping pills! I've eaten so much and it's okay! Later, the boss laughed when he heard it: I'm afraid you'll eat every bottle! So added some vitamins in it!

3, take a walk in the evening, see what an old woman is looking for on the ground, and then ask: "Old man, it's dark, what to find, we will help you." The old woman said, "Look for gum." "They all fell to the ground, what are you looking for?" "My dentures are still on it!"

4, home power outage, helpless to go to the neighbor's house to rub the air conditioning, who expected this rubbing, is decades, the original lead family has three daughters, but two have been far married, there is still a daughter at home, want to find a door-to-door son-in-law, the old two said that they know that I live in the right door, but see I work hard every day, early out of the evening has not had the opportunity to know, but look at me so hard work to know that it is a real person, so give my daughter to me at ease.

5, the boss informed me today, the company is about to open up the market in the south, I was sent to be a regional manager. I chose a small town at the foot of the mountain as a place to stay, the mountain air is good, and along the creek, I found a mountain spring. I dialed my wife's cell phone and said, "Honey, I'm in the mountains, listen, the sound of the spring." "I moved my phone closer to the mountain spring. After a while, I asked, "Wife, is it good?" The wife snorted and replied, "I know you too well, you're not so romantic, turn off the faucet!" ”

6, the wife is my first love, today chat she asked me: you talked about several times before, my first love married you, what do you think about this? I slapped the table, stood up and said: You are still kind to say, I am looking for one that is not you, looking for one that is not you, you are good, looking for me once I appeared in front of you, you are still kind enough to ask me!

7, my wife kept nagging to the sister-in-law: "I told you not to find a handsome, you have to find a handsome, handsome easy to spend, do you know?" The sister-in-law was not convinced: "Then your husband is so handsome, isn't it safe for you to find him?" My wife said, "Don't you see that I never bought him good clothes to wear?" "My sister-in-law and I:"..."

8, I have not found a suitable job after graduating from Lanxiang, my cousin found me a land, in an ordinary unit, a week later came a sister, but after a few days of work I heard that I did not do it, I looked for her to chat. Me: The little beauty heard that you are no longer dry, and many boys in the unit are ready to chase you! The girl listened to the fox and said suspiciously: "A lot? Isn't the total number of units boys! Remove the two married, aren't you a boy?

9. When I went to school at Tsinghua University, a brother in the bottom bunk of our dormitory would not ride a bicycle. Every time I went to the cafeteria or to class, I rode my bike with him. On this day, my buddy fell in love, and he talked to me: It's okay, I'll never forget, you brother who slept on my bottom bunk. Can't forget the days when riding a bike every day to take you to buy food, well, later, take good care of your girlfriend. Dude: No, I'll have to trouble you later, take the two of us on a bike!

10, the mother-in-law is getting older and her memory is getting worse and worse. In order not to let her go out, the husband counted his salary as the chairman of the board to his mother-in-law every day. The mother-in-law was bored for a long time, so she found a job as a cleaner in a large company. Unexpectedly, the boss was going to fire her early this morning. The mother-in-law asked incomprehensibly: Boss, I clean the toilet every day, why do you want to fire me? The boss said angrily: Then you say, I buckled my nose three months ago, touched the door, why is it still there? The mother-in-law was speechless.

1 Girlfriend was dumped by the rich second generation, and called me to cry and couldn't help myself. Curiously, I asked: You weren't all right the other day, how did you suddenly break up? Who knew that the girlfriend cried even harder, saying: He found someone else, and showed it off to me, and when the woman saw me, she said I was ugly, did you say that I was so ugly? I quickly comforted: don't cry, for that kind of man is not worth it! It looks ugly when you come, and it is even uglier when you cry.

12, this husband browsed the beautiful photo on the Internet, because he looked too seriously, did not notice that his wife came behind. Wife: "What are you doing?" The husband was shocked, and after a while he said, "I'm looking for someone." Wife: "What kind of person are you looking for?" Husband: "I wanted to find someone who looked prettier than you, but I couldn't find one." ”

13, there is a group of people in the restaurant! Keep shouting at the hostess! Hurriedly set the course. I sat next to me and got angry! Let my mother give me a cup of tea first! And took out 5,000 yuan and threw it on the table and said no need to look for it. The locals are also in a hurry! Lost 10,000 pieces! Also told the hostess not to look for it. Okay, you won me quietly bowing my head and drinking tea! Endured the ridicule of the local tycoons. I have been waiting for the local tycoons to leave with high spirits! I said to the hostess, "Mom! You see, am I angry about you? My mother smiled and said, "Give me back the money!" ”

14. Chatting with an older leftover man this morning. I asked: What are the criteria for what you are looking for now? Older leftover men: female, alive. I jokingly said: your standard is too high! Not easy to find! The older leftover man said calmly: It is okay to look like a woman.