The brother-in-law is tall and mighty, very handsome, since he lost his job, he has delivered a courier in SF, and can receive a salary of 12,000 yuan a month. In the morning, the brother-in-law went to a customer's house to deliver the courier and knocked

The brother-in-law is tall and mighty, very handsome, since he lost his job, he has delivered a courier in SF, and can receive a salary of 12,000 yuan a month. In the morning, the brother-in-law went to a customer's house to deliver a courier, and after knocking on the door, a sexy beauty opened the door in pajamas. She looked at her brother-in-law and said apologetically, "Wait a minute, I'll go change my clothes!" The door slammed shut, and after a full ten minutes, the door opened. The brother-in-law was indignant, did he need to change his clothes when he signed a letter? Besides, does it take ten minutes to change clothes? Beauty, is a courier ah, as for?

2, there is a rich second generation of smokers are particularly addicted, smoking 5 packs of cigarettes a day. Once, the rich second generation went to a party, and Ban Hua asked the rich second generation: Big brother, do you smoke fiercely? Fu ErDai said calmly: Now I smoke less, and I used to smoke particularly fiercely! Ban Hua asked curiously: How fierce is it? How many packs a day? Fuerdai let out a deep breath of turbidity: 3 lighters a day...

3, I remember when I was seven years old, my family slept, I went to the orchard to hang out by myself, and picked a few apples in the afternoon and came back. My dad didn't look for me in the afternoon, beat me up in anger, and said how can I run to pick apples! My mom, my brother and my sister both said that the apples I picked back were delicious, and my dad beat me up again because he was too busy beating me up, and beat me even harder, saying why did I pick so little!

4, the roadside saw a woman holding the child's left hand for her right hand, showing fatigue. I kindly stepped forward and said, "Big sister, I'll hold it for you." "Thanks," she said gratefully, "but how can it bother you?" "It's all right." Saying that, I grabbed the child in my arms and stepped onto the bus. Someone in the crowded car gave way, so I sat down and pinched the child's ass, and panicked: "Big sister, you still hold it, he cried so hard." ”

5, when I was a child, I took advantage of the adults to take a nap, (ran to the mountains to play, when the sun went down, I picked a few (persimmons back.) My dad didn't look for me all afternoon, (he beat me up and said how could I (run to pick persimmons!) My mom, my brother and my sister both said I (the persimmons I picked back were delicious, my dad beat me up again because he was busy (he didn't get a bite out of me) and beat me up again (, beat me harder, saying why did I pick so little (!).

6, tonight, about a few iron brothers to drink, a few brothers are together, it is almost Zhang! We called Xiao Zhang, and Xiao Zhang said on the phone that he had something to do tonight. We said: There is anything we can help with! At this time, I heard Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law say to Xiao Zhang on the other end of the phone: Tell your buddies, saying that we are going to create people tonight, and someone wants to help?

7, tonight is the Chinese New Year's Eve, I am not small, also married, and then eat the meal made by my parents I feel a little embarrassed. So I started preparing to make dumplings early this morning, and I won't be able to make noodles so I'll give them to my wife. I was in charge of chopping the stuffing, and my wife was in charge of making dumplings. My wife had just made the noodles, and suddenly her stomach hurt, so she asked me to wrap it for a while. 15 minutes passed, my hand speed was ok, a lot of bags. My wife came out of the toilet and looked at the board, squinted at me and said, "Are you going to eat potted plants at night?" ”～～

8, a roommate, quite handsome, all day long in the dormitory to play games. We asked him, "Aren't you going to find a girlfriend?" Roommate: "Find a head!" What's the point of finding a girlfriend? It is better to find a man, then I will have two suites and two cars in the future! "At first glance, I was actually a little moved...

9, one day, my son asked me: Dad, what kind of person is a man? I said: Be able to support your own family, stand up to the sky, and be the head of the family! The son said: Ah, how powerful, then I will be like a mother in the future.

10. Yesterday I ate in a restaurant in Ningbo, and a table next to it was on a blind date. F: Do you have a room? M: No. F: The car won't be without it! M: Not really. F: What can you give me? M: Online shopping will be free shipping later. This is the most bizarre advantage I've ever heard.

1 The neighbor's husband is asking: Wife, why don't you care about my drinking? Wife: The body is your own, you can toss it as much as you want! However, as a couple send you a sentence "You can play with other people's wives when you are alive, and you can play with your wives when you die!" ”

12, a few adults led a child to buy something, the little girl turned three times, it seems that there is nothing to buy, her grandfather sent a message: pick at will, what is in the picture Grandpa to buy for you. At this time, the little girl chose four or five toys with a lightning speed, and said while taking them: My grandfather is a delicate person, and I should not be happy if I don't buy him!

13. Confucius, as the teacher of all the worlds, his educational ideas have reference value even today. He himself is a very lively and lovely teacher, not a pedantic person. He not only criticized the idea of revenge with virtue, but also taught Zengzi on filial piety that if your father wants to beat you with a heavy hand, you must remember to run. If you really want to study Sinology, please be sure to read the Analects carefully, and you will find that Confucius is actually a very interesting person.

14, when the dry rice and children choose 1 2, the previous parents: come, baby, this fish is delicious, eat fish, mom does not like to eat fish, mom likes to eat fish head, eat slowly, mom does not grab with you. Later, young people became parents: baby, fish and meat are not delicious, mom eats for you, you eat more fish heads, fish heads to supplement the brain.