Chinese should have heard the saying "complaining with virtue", the so-called "complaining with virtue" means: you are not good to me, I still have to be good to you; you hit me on the left side of the face, I am not angry, but also take the initiative to extend the right face to beat you, after the fight also smiled and asked you if your hands hurt, did you lose your anger? This kind of thinking believes that you should repay the resentment of others with grace, and use virtue to impress people who resent you.
In the past, the book "The Secret Record of President Chiang Kai-shek" published by Japan's Sankei Shimbun quoted the phrase "repaying grievances with virtue" and said that it was Confucius thought, which was a mistake. "Repaying grievances with virtue" is a Taoist thought, which is said in Lao Tzu. Confucius thought that "repay grievances with directness."
The Analects: Constitutional Questions
Or, "How about repaying grievances with virtue?" Zi Yue: "Why repay virtue?" Repay grievances with directness, and repay virtue with virtue. ”
This sentence translates to say, "How about using enders to repay resentment?" Confucius said, "Then what is the use to repay kindness?" Repay resentment with integrity, and return kindness with kindness. ”
1. Do not advocate "repaying grievances with virtue"
Confucius believed that those who have harm and resentment toward us cannot be reciprocated with kindness. Doing so will encourage the arrogance of the wicked, and what do you make those who are good to you think?
From the book "Analects", we can see that Confucius did not simply advocate "ruling the country with virtue", he advocated that to govern the country, it is necessary to "rule the country with virtue and punishment". Govern the country with virtue, pay attention to etiquette and indoctrination, and take benevolence, righteousness, etiquette, wisdom, and faith as the standards, so as to make the people fraternal and make society harmonious. But in any country, society, or organization there must be some evil people who are difficult to educate, and such people cannot be blindly tolerated, but must be supplemented by punishment. Blindly indulging in tolerance is not a perfect way to deal with the world.
2. Do not advocate "repaying grievances with complaints"
"Repaying grievances with resentment" means that when others harm your interests, you must take revenge. As the saying goes, "When is the time to repay each other for wrongs", if everyone treats those who are not good to themselves with this attitude, under such a vicious circle, what will our world become, and where can we realize the ideal of building a harmonious society?
3. Advocate "direct complaints"
Right and wrong, good and evil, we must distinguish clearly, and we must face those who are not good to us in a straightforward and fair way.
First of all, we must distinguish between right and wrong, whether the main reason for others to have this resentment toward us is in ourselves, if so, we should start from me to correct our own virtues and make up for our own mistakes; if it is a resentment caused by his narrow-mindedness and psychopathy, and it offends us, or even causes us serious damage, we must not blindly tolerate it, and forbearance will only make the evil person hurt us more severely.
Secondly, we must also pay attention to the way and method of "complaining", can not he scraped my car, I also scraped his car, we should call the police, in a reasonable and legal way to protect their legitimate rights and interests, and then for this kind of villain, we must stay away in the future, so as not to regenerate the disaster.
4. Summary
Nowadays, the whole social atmosphere is "heavy profit over morality", and what can reflect the value of a person is: how many houses do you have? How many tickets are there? What car to drive? In what position? Rather than: How noble is your virtue? What level of academic cultivation has been achieved?
In this general environment, it is very difficult to "repay grievances with virtue" and "serve people with virtue" and achieve the ultimate ideal of creating a harmonious society.
As an ordinary person, we cannot "repay grievances with virtue", nor can we "repay complaints with complaints", we cannot go with the flow, and we must use reasonable and legal methods to protect our territory, so as to "repay complaints with directness" and "repay morality with virtue".