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Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina: "People live for hope, because with hope they have the courage to live." ”
Hope is not only a beacon of guidance for people, but also a spiritual driving force.
People full of hope will not lose their way, will not get tired of life, because they always have pursuits, and they live and have a head. People who lose hope will be confused and will feel burnout.
When people do anything, when they play any role, they need to have hope and blessings to do better. If there is no hope, such as losing hope for a job, it is very easy to produce "burnout".
Marriage also needs to be blessed with hope, and if there is no hope, it will also produce a sense of burnout. If hope is replaced by disappointment, it will make people want to flee or give up.
For people caught up in this state of marriage, divorce is the best option. Because this is beyond the scope of "psychological problems", it is not that there are psychological problems with oneself, but that the problems caused by marriage have always existed, and what you want to give up is the external marriage.
The following woman chose to divorce because of this problem, let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
The love between parents and children can be unconditional, whether it is a matter of course for parents to treat their children well or for children to be filial to their parents.
Other relationships, wanting to be kind to each other, are conditional. You are good to me, I am good to you, and only when you exchange courtesies with each other will you be mentally balanced.
Conversely, if you are not good to me, why should I be good to you?
Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is similar to the relationship between parents and children, it is not this kind of relationship after all, and if you want to treat each other well, you must talk about conditions, otherwise one party will inevitably be psychologically unbalanced.
In the case of me and my mother-in-law, I was very kind to her at first, visiting her often, buying her things, giving her money, like honoring my biological parents. If she is kind to me and is good to me, our relationship will definitely be very good.
Unfortunately, she is a selfish person.
I was nice to her, and she took it for granted. However, it was never good for me. Not only was she herself not good to me, but she always encouraged his son to do evil and tried to calculate me.
To put it in layman's terms, she is a person who is only willing to take advantage and does not want to suffer losses.
Of course, I will be mentally unbalanced, and there will be a splash when I throw money into the water! It was thrown at her, but there was not even a sound.
What's more, her son originally gave me the money he earned, but she privately gave her son a trick, asking him to find various excuses to ask me for money, in short, she didn't want to see me take advantage of it.
Just being such a mother-in-law already makes me very uncomfortable, how can her son also be taught by her to be a bad person, there is no good mother-in-law and no good husband in marriage, what is the point of me keeping?
Hearing that I was going to get a divorce, she panicked and rushed over to stop me: "Don't get a divorce, otherwise no one will give me a pension!" ”
See! When she thought of not being able to take advantage of it anymore, she pretended to be very aggrieved to keep me, as if I was unreasonable and had to get a divorce.
The purpose of her words is obvious, but she just wants me to continue to be a nanny for her, continue to help the poor, and continue to be her cash cow and punching bag. Since I could see through her machinations, I had to get a divorce.
I said, "Selfish people, they deserve to be old and have nothing to rely on!" She may have realized that she could not keep me in a "pitiful" way, so she turned her face and did not recognize anyone, and settled accounts with me, implying that my people would leave and not stop taking any property.
I've already suffered so much that I can't let myself suffer when I get divorced. She doesn't make me feel better, so why should I make her feel better? If my fight for my property would make her feel the pain of cutting flesh, then I would have to die to the end. She had been evil for so long, and she had to pay the price.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
The difference between a good mother-in-law and a bad mother-in-law: the former teaches the son to protect his wife, and the latter teaches the son to do evil.
A good mother-in-law is first of all a good mother, and the sign of a good mother is that she will be a person and be reasonable. When the daughter-in-law has no problems, they will demand that the son must treat the daughter-in-law well and must know how to protect his wife. Even if the daughter-in-law has a problem, they will at best argue on the basis of reason, not evil.
Evil mothers-in-law are not good mothers in the first place, and their hallmark is that they will not be human, unreasonable, insatiable, have low emotional intelligence, and love to take advantage of small things. If the daughter-in-law has a problem, they will make trouble; the daughter-in-law has no problem, they will rely on the old and sell the old, calculate the daughter-in-law, and teach the son to do evil. Even if they finally get divorced, they are still unreasonable and just want their daughter-in-law to get out of the house.
From the difference between a good mother-in-law and a bad mother-in-law, it is not difficult to see that the reader's mother-in-law is an evil mother-in-law. In her eyes, her daughter-in-law is just a "tool" for her, and she does not regard her daughter-in-law as a person at all.
Women on such a mother-in-law are already sad, if coupled with the addition of men in accordance with the requirements of the mother-in-law to do evil, it will be more painful, will definitely lose hope for marriage. In this case, only divorce can free yourself and bring yourself back to life.