I have wine and tea, and if you have a story, come to me.
Click "Follow" above, and you are my person.
Pride and Prejudice: "Pride makes it impossible for others to love me, and prejudice makes it impossible for me to love others." ”
Arrogant people like to put themselves above others. Unless they are strong and others need to ask for them, others will only respect them.
Prejudiced people, because they attach importance to doing things with a paranoid attitude, are not accustomed to anything, always think that others love to take advantage, always think that they will suffer losses in their dealings with others, and naturally cannot love others.
People who have both pride and prejudice will become people who can neither love others nor be loved. If you don't realize and change these two shortcomings of your own, you will only live with some lifeless things in the end, and you will not understand the warmth and love of the world.
The following woman's story about her mother-in-law's behavior is related to the problem mentioned above, let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I think you have a particularly good saying: All problems in marriage are "people" problems.
I deeply agree that if people are okay, other problems are not problems. Even if you are destitute, even if you don't have a house or a car, there is nothing to be afraid of, because these things can be fought for through your own efforts.
Unfortunately, marriages with no problems at all are a minority after all, and most people's marriages are problematic. Among the many roles involved in marriage, there will always be one or two problematic roles.
The problematic role in my marriage was my mother-in-law. She is a very selfish person, and at the same time has a lot of prejudices in her heart, and she has a very heavy heart, and she only wants to take advantage and does not want to suffer losses.
When she learned that I was pregnant, she was very happy and said to her son: "Anyway, she is pregnant, the house does not have to be bought, she does not dare not marry!" ”
Her son, my husband, replied, "Are you poor and crazy?" What is the point of calculating at this juncture? Don't you mean to get along with me? She is pregnant with my child, and if I can't give her and her a home, what will others say about me? Will I still have a face to be a man in the future? ”
Unmoved, she continued to expound her perverse reasoning: "In this world, whoever has a thin skin will suffer losses. I think you should be a little thick-skinned, insist on not buying a house, don't give her a penny, and when her belly is bigger, her parents will pay for everything, and then you can sit back and enjoy it. ”
My husband confirmed to her again: "Are you sure you want to do this?" Disregarding my dignity? ”
She said she was sure, and to her surprise, my husband let out a sneer: "My daughter-in-law is right, you are not a good mother-in-law." Fortunately, she had the foresight, and fortunately she was prepared, otherwise we would all be counting on you, and life would certainly be difficult! ”
The mother-in-law asked him what he meant by this, and he said, "My daughter-in-law had long guessed that you would play such a trick, and I never believed that you would be so selfish, that you would do this to us, so I tried you according to her request, and the result was exactly the same as she predicted." Put away your calculating heart! Her parents have already bought the house, deliberately silent, to see if you have sincerity, did not expect that you did not have any sincerity, really let me down! You say it's for my own good, but in fact all you care about is yourself. You're better off spending even a little money than calculating! ”
My mother-in-law was ashamed and embarrassed, and then she became angry: "Listening to you say this, she is definitely not a good wife, otherwise how could she maliciously speculate about her mother-in-law?" How could he instruct his husband to play his mother-in-law as a monkey? ”
What a joke! He even said that I maliciously speculated about her! If she is a sympathetic and selfless mother-in-law, can I say that she is not a good mother-in-law? She herself has ill intentions, but she is not willing to let others pierce her, which shows how bad this person is.
On the day we got married, she didn't show up, not knowing if she didn't want to show her face or didn't dare to show her face. Anyway, if she doesn't reflect on her problems and make changes, I won't have any contact with her.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Most parents really think about their children, hope that their children will be happy in marriage, and they will help their children's marriage, whether they contribute money or force.
Doing so is to make yourself feel ashamed and at ease, but at the same time, you feel that you will not let others talk nonsense.
And there are a small number of parents who only pay lip service to their children, and when they urge marriage, they talk about the sky, and as a result, when they need their help, they push and block, bargain, and work hard, as if spending money to help their children's marriage is a business that is more than worth the loss.
Although it is true that some families have suffered losses because their children have married, they have not paid off. But such cases are after all a minority, and if all bets are placed on this possibility, then simply don't get married. Who doesn't spend money getting married? And want to get married and don't want to spend money, what is this psychology?
If you are just worried about spending money unjustly, it is understandable. This kind of worry can be broken, as long as you don't rush to get married, as long as you spend more time to understand each other, make sure that there is no problem with each other, and then get married, the money that should be spent is not ambiguous, there will be no problem.
And it would be foolish to look at marriage with prejudice and to marry children if it is purely selfish and unwilling to spend money. Lip service is worried about spending money unjustly, and does not bother to spend time to verify, repeatedly arguing that "I think she is not a good person", so as to justify his selfish name, which is not only not conducive to the marriage of his children, but also may ruin his old age because of the resentment of his children.