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Anna Karenina: "Happy families are the same, unhappy families are different. ”
Whether a family is happy or unhappy, only the members of the family know it. Happiness or unhappiness seen by outsiders may be inconsistent with what a family member sees.
Happy families, the same point is that there is a "top pillar", as long as the whole family surrounds this top pillar, you can feel a steady stream of happiness.
The same point in an unhappy family is that "the family has a difficult scripture", and one person can cause the whole family to be unhappy.
There is also a kind of family, a combination of the above two situations, which is happy at first and then becomes unhappy. This is usually the case: the top beam and pillar are gone, and the difficult sutra has taken its place.
This is the case with the reader's family, and let's take a look at what's going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
My mom just passed away and my dad was going to remarry, which was so disappointing to me.
I don't know if he had this kind of heart for a long time, or if he was seduced, but since my mother died, he has changed as a person.
When my mother was still alive before, because my mother was the pillar of the pillar, it was my mother who was in charge of the house, and he was very well-behaved. Under the leadership of my mother, our family of four lived happily.
It is true that after my mother's death, as the head of the family, he should automatically fill the position and upgrade to the top pillar. However, he simply could not take responsibility for the whole family like my mother, he was very selfish, only thinking about himself, and he was busy remarrying, not thinking about me and my brother at all.
If my brother and I had both grown up and started a family, we would certainly have supported him in remarrying. But my brother is still young, and there is still a long way to go, shouldn't he focus on my brother?
What I couldn't accept the most was that he wanted to remarry with the money my mother had exchanged for her life, and wanted to spend the money on the woman he liked. I really can't let him do it, that money can not be spent on me, but it can not be spent on my brother, even if not reserved for him to marry, it should be kept for him to go to school.
Sadly, when I stopped my dad from remarrying, he cried like a woman and asked me, "Your mother has died, why can't I marry again?" ”
I said to him, "If you have to remarry, I can't do it, but I have a condition: the money my mother exchanged for her life, you can't use it for marriage, you have to leave it to my brother." I can leave everything else alone, but this matter is not negotiable, otherwise I will not make you feel better if you are married. ”
He refused my request, saying that I was not qualified to take care of him: "I am the head of the family, how to spend money, I have a number in my heart, I can't take care of you!" ”
I had to ask my grandparents and grandparents and various relatives for help, and he was overwhelmed and gave me the money, with a condition: "From now on, I don't recognize you as a daughter, you take your brother out to live!" Anyway, I don't have time to take care of you after I get married, don't say that my stepmother bullied you, and I found a bunch of relatives to criticize me. ”
Even if he didn't say that, I would take my brother out to live, otherwise I wouldn't have a good life with my brother and I staying in that house. He was obsessed with the people he liked, and he couldn't take care of our sisters and brothers.
Fate is such a thing is really unpredictable, I never thought that my mother would suddenly leave, and I never thought that this family would collapse because my mother left, maybe this is the so-called "test of fate"!
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
A happy family, if the top beam column is gone, then the top beam pillar is very critical. Happiness will continue if it is as responsible as the original pillar; conversely, if it is a difficult sutra, it will bring misfortune to other family members.
For example, in the reader's family, if her father could be as responsible as her mother, she and her brother would not have been forced to run away from home.
Unfortunately, this kind of thing is not as if, just like opening a blind box, opening what is what is. For her and her brother, the future life can only be re-established from the reality of the present.
There was no way to do that, even to denounce her irresponsible father, even to ask him to pay child support, but not to make the family complete again.
I hope that she and her brother can warm up together from now on, work together, and live a good life together. Whether you think of past experiences as a test or as misfortune, it has already happened, don't run away. In the words of Mr. Lu Xun, true warriors dare to face the bleak life and wish them good luck.