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Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby: "Whenever you want to criticize others, remember: Not everyone in this world has your superior conditions. ”
In terms of material conditions alone, if you come from a superior family and are accused of being inferior to you, you don't have to argue with the other person. Because you are not on the same level, it is possible that anything you say is not speculative.
This is true in addition to the material aspect, but also the spiritual aspect.
If your ideological realm is higher than others, and others accuse you of his limited cognition, you don't actually have to argue with him, and you don't have to waste time criticizing him, because he can't understand your realm. Just as the so-called "summer worms can not speak ice", there is no need to play the piano to the cow.
That being said, when people really encounter similar problems, people can't help but argue. It doesn't matter, just remember: never be backward compatible with people who look down on you, otherwise you'll be pulled down to a very bad state, and even live as someone you hate.
The reason why the following reader gave up the marriage that is about to arrive is because he met someone who "does not speculate", let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
In my opinion, whether two people are suitable for marriage, whether two families are suitable for marriage, only need to talk about some practical problems.
People who are suitable for marriage, parents of both parties who recognize the marriage of their children, will follow the principle of "everything is good to discuss", will not go back and forth to bargain, and will not just think of taking advantage of each other. In other words, if this condition is not met, it is not suitable for marriage.
Although I discussed it privately with the man, when the two families sat together to talk about marriage, there was a very fierce dispute.
My mother-in-law was reluctant to pay for the house, and even though my parents no longer insisted on sharing between the two sides, but said that our family was out of the woods, she still did not agree.
Moreover, her attitude is very bad, she wants my parents to buy a house, but she does not put my parents in her eyes, and when she speaks, she does not look at them squarely, but only stares at me: "Your mother's family has money, why let my family buy a house?" Don't you think it's ridiculous? Don't you think that saying this will make others laugh out loud? ”
I was angry, and I gambled and said, "Then don't buy it, I won't marry!" ”
I was supposed to stand up and pull my parents away, but they got up and left first, as if our family was sorry for them.
Such a mother-in-law, such a man, how can I marry? Do I dare to marry? Just talk about marriage and marriage is like this for me, if I get married, I will definitely not have a good life!
My parents advised me not to be angry because of this kind of person: "Two families sitting together to talk about marriage and marriage are the most test of human nature." The attitudes of both parties show whether marriage is valuable or not. If they have a good attitude, it is not impossible for our family to buy a house. But you look at their attitude, as if our family owes them. The reason why we didn't let go again and again was to see what they really looked like. Now that the truth has come out, you should be happy because an unhappy marriage was avoided. ”
I think it is also right, in time to recognize that they should not marry, there is no need to waste time and feelings, you can put down everything to find the right marriage candidate again.
Sadly, the mother and son later changed their minds, saying that according to what my parents said at the time, our family would buy a house. I refused, because their concessions were certainly not well-intentioned.
Sure enough, after I rejected them, his mother turned her face and did not recognize anyone, accused me of not being dedicated, denied my character, and said that sooner or later I would regret it, thinking that I would never meet such a good person as her son in the future.
It didn't take long to meet someone who was many times better than her son, and the two families had a great conversation together. I don't know how my ex-boyfriend and mother-in-law will feel after hearing about it.
It doesn't matter to me what they think, I just know that a marriage that can't be talked about should be abandoned as soon as possible. Women have no problem with themselves, so they should not look at someone and hold on. Marriage should have been carefully chosen, and it would be silly not to give up if it was inappropriate.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Whether two people are suitable for marriage, or whether two families are suitable for marriage, there are two indicators: one is whether they are suitable for each other and whether they are compatible; the other is whether they are willing to marry each other.
When measuring whether each other is suitable, in addition to measuring whether each other's requirements can be accepted, it is also necessary to measure whether each other's three views are in tune with each other and whether they meet the "door-to-door pair" at the comprehensive level.
The two sides can not be completely suitable, or there can be inappropriate places, but in general, it should be appropriate, so that they can reassure each other, let each other have a bottom in their hearts, and not feel that they have suffered losses.
Some people only need to consider the question of "suitable or not", and if they are suitable, they will be willing to marry. But not everyone will be like this, and each other's wishes can sometimes subvert people's perceptions.
You may have seen couples where both spouses are clearly inappropriate, or both parents disagree, but they have to get married, and that can't be measured by conventional standards.
There is also a type of person, the two sides seem to be suitable, satisfied with the door to the door, and the parents of both sides try to match, but each other is not happy, which can not be seen with conventional eyes.
This requires everyone to figure out their own view of marriage and love, to consider what kind of person you want to marry, and what kind of person you should marry. "You want" refers to the question of will, and "you should" refers to the question of appropriateness. These two points should be looked at together, anyway, you can't know it in your own heart, don't make a decision that is unfavorable to yourself.