"Go to your mother's house, I don't welcome you in my house", daughter-in-law: I can roll, but I have two conditions

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"Strange Wind Years": "When you love someone more than you love yourself, you become very brave." ”

A person plucks up the courage to love a person, can fight for love, can do a lot of things with a thick skin, and the state at this time is "love a person more than love yourself".

People who have had experiences of pursuing and confessing should be familiar with this feeling. There are many things that you dare not do when you are alone, and when you have a sweetheart, you dare to do it, even if it is hard to do it, it is also a kind of courage.

More than this kind of love of the opposite sex, it can reflect the feeling of "loving a person more than loving oneself", which is family affection and the love of parents for their children.

The so-called "mother is rigid", about this truth, the fundamental internal driving force is the love of the child, love the child more than love yourself, and then the responsibility and obligation.

That being said, not everyone can summon up courage after becoming a parent, and not all parents can love their children more than themselves. Some parents, just self-indulgent, self-moved, think that they love their children more than they love themselves, in fact, it is not, there are many places that should be most responsible for them, they have never been responsible.

The following daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law have a clear difference when they play the role of mother.

Hello Mr. Donglin:

In my opinion, when some people mention divorce, they say that they are worried about their children, dare not divorce, and do not want their children to have a complete family, which is a manifestation of selfishness.

Such people seem to love children more than themselves, but in fact they are not at all, they are very selfish, they talk about children, just to hide their cowardice and incompetence.

It can be seen from the tone of their speech and their unthinking attitude that they have not seriously considered what is good for the child. If they really love their children more than they love themselves, it is absolutely impossible not to think about it.

Moreover, if a person really loves the child more than he loves himself, from the day the child is born, he will take the child as the focus of life, not only will work hard in parenting, but also plan the road for the child for the next five years or even ten years, and will let himself live as a person with strong ability to resist pressure and risk for the child.

Every parent can measure whether they have these characteristics, and if you don't, stop self-indulging, stop saying that you love your children more than you love yourself, you don't deserve to say that.

My mother-in-law is not a qualified mother, and many of my husband's abilities have not been exerted, including his character flaws, all due to his mother, because she is not responsible at all, and she does not realize that casually pulling the child up is not enough to call loving the child.

I played a very important role in the improvement of my husband's character and ability, including the role of "mother", many things I taught him, many ideas I enlightened, and many psychological problems I cured him.

Not only do I love him more than I love myself, but I love our children more than I love myself. In my opinion, this "altruistic" way of loving can have a win-win effect. When I raise my husband and children well, I will not only have a sense of accomplishment, but also allow myself to grow.

As for my mother-in-law, I don't want to love her more than I love myself. First, it is because she does not understand gratitude and cannot see my affection for her son; second, because she herself does not understand anything, and she is not accustomed to my "husband-and-wife methods" and "parenting methods". Once, because I bumped into her, I was asked to go to my mother's house and let me go back to my mother's house to reflect, saying that her family did not welcome me, a daughter-in-law who would only be a blessing in disguise.

She doesn't compare herself to me, and I can never bother with her. And she wants to touch the nail, so I have to give her some color to see.

I said I could roll, but on two conditions: "First, I have to get a divorce first; second, I have to take the kids with me." And I might as well tell you that your son doesn't dare to divorce me, and he doesn't dare to fight with me for custody of his children, and he can't afford to raise children. If you have to let me roll, I will let you lose both your son and grandson at the same time, and if you don't believe me, you can try! ”

She thinks that what she does is to love her son, which is actually very selfish; and I, love her son and love her grandson more than I love myself, and she fights with me and never wins. Her weakness was right in front of my eyes, and I didn't have to deliberately grasp it at all to make her obediently admit defeat.

I think that loving someone more than loving yourself does not mean sacrificing yourself, you can completely make yourself invincible for the people you love, so that there is no difficulty that can overwhelm you. What do you think?

Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:

The reason why that woman did not suffer losses in her in-laws' family, why she dared to negotiate conditions with her mother-in-law, and because she could grasp the weaknesses of her in-laws' family was because she was very good.

The point of her excellence is that she knows how to be a person and how to play each of her roles well. Whether it is a wife or a mother, there is nothing to say, very good.

What she said at the beginning, although it may make some people uncomfortable, but it is all a big truth, because some people really do not "love children more than they love themselves", and what is even more tragic is that they love themselves, they do not love a famous name, still cowardly, selfish, self-intoxicated.

This situation is very common in reality, for example, some people have always just paid lip service to the child as a baby egg, in fact, the child follows the grandmother or grandmother, they are not involved in the growth of the child at all. After returning home, do not play with the child, no matter what problems the child has, only care about playing mobile phones, and do not care about their own image in the eyes of the child, stand without standing, sit without sitting, only when the child is sick to fake some tears, and then everything is business as usual, the child obviously looks uncultured, the child's hands and feet are not clean, sometimes even connivance and praise, this is not how to love the child more than to love themselves.

Under the influence of such parents, it is easy for the child to have the problems that the woman said about her husband, either with a flawed personality, or the potential is not stimulated, and even psychological problems will occur.

I hope that every parent can pay attention to this kind of problem, have a sense of parenting, play their role as a parent, be effectively responsible for their children, love children more than love themselves, otherwise why do you give birth to him? Is it just to satisfy your worthless face?