01
Everyone has the day of aging, just like the moment when even the most delicate flowers have withered. Getting old, old ageing, and returning are all fates that no one can get rid of.
Especially in today's era of prominent contradictions in the old-age care, everyone needs to face the contradictions and risks of "old-age care". How to provide for the elderly and who to rely on for the elderly has become a problem that each of us needs to think about.
According to the traditional concept, when people are old, they should rely on their families and children. Because parents and children have inseparable affection, parents feel that it is impossible for children not to take care of their parents.
Is affection really reliable?
Someone once said: "All family affection, in the face of endless conflicts of interest and personal selfish desires, often seems vulnerable." ”
Feelings are like a thin piece of paper, as long as you poke it slightly, I believe that this piece of paper will crack. No matter what kind of relationship, no matter what kind of feeling, in fact, this is the truth.
People, mainly without experience, will feel that family affection and family are the most reliable existence in their later years. Only after experiencing it will you fully understand that everything is difficult to say.
As long as there is humanity, everything is at risk of being "volatile".
02
An old man sighed that after five years of retirement, he saw through the cheap family affection.
Zhang Dabo in the town is 65 years old this year, although he has been retired for five years, he still does not live very happily, and he cannot feel the so-called "happiness of heaven" at all.
His eldest son, who is now working in a first-tier city, has not returned to the countryside to see him for several years. Even during the New Year's holidays, the eldest son rarely calls home.
His second son, although he said that he lived in the next town, did not like to take on the responsibility of providing for his parents. In his opinion, the eldest brother has not taken care of his parents, why should I take care of my parents?
The one who really has some feelings is actually The daughter of Uncle Zhang. It's just that the younger daughter married into a province, has her own children to take care of, has her own family to take care of, and can't often go back to her hometown to take care of her parents.
Today's Zhang Dabo can only live with his wife in a dilapidated old house, living a particularly shabby life. Moreover, whenever Zhang Dabo remembered his own experience, he would sigh that what kind of raising children to prevent old age is all fake.
I remember once, he suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized, and the second son did not show up, let alone the eldest son. Only the younger daughter transferred some money to treat him. This made Zhang Dabo lose hope in his family affection and children.
When people are old, they can't always rely on their children to survive. Even if you want to rely on it, your child may not be by your side. Just like Zhang Dabo's two sons, they have already left their parents behind, which is really sad.
03
Family affection and family in later life are very realistic.
We often say that human nature is particularly ruthless and human nature is particularly realistic.
I thought that only the heart of an outsider is ruthless, and only the humanity of an outsider is realistic. After some experience, I realized that even my relatives are more "realistic" than ordinary people.
In the case of "children", why do today's children gradually turn away from their parents and no longer assume the responsibility of supporting their parents? I think there are three reasons for this.
First of all, children go out to work hard, far away from home, and they simply can't take care of their parents all the time. There are too many people who do not go home during the New Year's Festival, take root in other places, and have long been estranged from their parents.
This is not someone's problem, it is the norm at the moment. Just think, in the choice of taking care of parents and earning money to support the family, who can achieve "loyalty and filial piety"?
Secondly, the game of the family has become more and more prominent, and the selfish side of human nature has been stimulated.
If a family wants to be united, it must make everyone have a heart. If you want to take care of your parents, then every child has to do his or her duty. Otherwise, as long as one person does not do a good job, the people behind will feel that they have suffered losses and will no longer do their duty.
Finally, in the face of interests, anyone will change their inner feelings.
In this incomparably material world, no matter who it is, they will live for one thing, which is what we often call "profit". If there is a conflict of interest between parents and children, it is believed that the latter will choose filial piety or betrayal.
04
In the face of "cheap" affection, we must do these three things well.
The first thing: be considerate of the difficulties of the children, and tolerate the words and deeds of the children.
Between people, even between parents and children, the most difficult thing to do is actually "understanding". You know my difficulties, I also know your hardships, both sides understand each other, in order to be happy with each other.
But, forbearance, this requires not only a broad mind, but also the wisdom of compromise. Without the wisdom of compromise, all understanding cannot be discussed.
The second thing: follow your heart and circumstances, and when you encounter anything, you will go with the flow.
If a child is filial to his parents, then we naturally feel relieved. And children are not filial to their parents, or they have their own things to do, then we must also respect them and do not worry about it.
People, only with fate, good fate will come to our side. We must firmly believe that fate will give us the best arrangement.
The third thing: money and health, you have to grasp it with both hands.
After talking about the mentality of being a human being, then we must also be materially prepared. At least, material things are the basis of life, and whether we have a certain amount of money determines whether we will become stable and reliable in the second half of our lives, as well as the affection of our families.
There is money and wine, there is health and sunshine, and there will be hope for the future.
Wen/Shushan has deer