During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Zhi wrote a popular poem called "Seven Steps Poem".
"Boiled beans burn beans, beans cry in the kettle." Originally born from the same root, why is it too urgent to fry each other? ”
Bean stalks and beans originally grew from the same root, figuratively he and Cao Pi are brothers of a mother and brother, brothers and sisters, since they are born from the same root, why should they force themselves to die, flesh and blood?
Indeed, as an older brother, Cao Pi persecuted his own brother who was half-father and half-mother, which was a very excessive act, but the reason why Cao Pi did not miss his brother's feelings so much was because his father Cao Cao was uneven in his bowl of water and overly partial to Cao Zhi, making him extremely jealous of his brother.
Actually, this is understandable. The same parents' flesh and bones, the same mother born in October, should get the same treatment, get the same care and care of their parents, but why do they know that they have done nothing wrong, but they have to watch their brothers and sisters enjoy all the love of their parents, occupy what belongs to them, and they have spent a lot of effort to please their parents, but they can't get the pity and attention of their parents?
What's more, bumping into some eccentric parents to the extreme will also take away the property you have worked hard and earned by skill, and give your brothers and sisters who have not paid anything, so that they can step on you to live a good life.
You go and ask for justice, and they tell you about affection, about filial piety. You encounter things, go to them for help, but they tell you that when you grow up, you have to solve the problem by your own efforts, don't expect your parents.
If things are uneven, there will be resentment, and this resentment is not only against the brothers and sisters who have robbed themselves of their own things, but also against the parents. If parents can't do a bowl of water to be flat, which has caused dissatisfaction to their children, when they are old, they must be careful not to be treated by their children, resulting in their own bleak evening scenery.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", Grandma Kong once mentioned some Sheng Shao to let him not be too eccentric: "In the homes of people with many children, parents need a bowl of water to be flat, so that the family house can be quiet." ”
Aunt Cui is 58 years old and has two sons, the eldest son is 33 years old and the younger son is 30 years old, both of whom are married and have children.
Aunt Cui's eldest son is very competitive, very prominent, graduated from a college, the job is also good, the income is very high, the annual salary is close to 400,000, is the phoenix man in people's mouth. However, the younger son is very uncontentious, graduated for many years, the monthly salary has been stuck at about five or six thousand, and the standard of living is average.
Bumping into this situation, some parents are reasonable, clear, will strictly discipline the younger son, refuse to continue to provide money to the younger son, do not let him nibble on the old brother, force him to be independent, some parents will have an idea, that is, the younger son does not argue that it does not matter, there is a big son, he does not work hard and has money to spend, lack of money to find the eldest son to be good, if the eldest son does not give, I will go to trouble, Aunt Cui is the latter.
01. The younger son is not good at reading, I told him, it doesn't matter, your brother will cover you in the future;
When the sons were young, Aunt Cui and her husband needed to work in the fields, leaving early and returning late, and there was no time to take care of them, so they entrusted their sons to the care of their in-laws.
The eldest son has been introverted since childhood, calm and quiet, and likes to read, while the younger son is outgoing, lively and active, sweet-mouthed, and good at liking, so the eldest son has been valued by the father-in-law who looks forward to the emergence of his children and grandchildren, and the younger son has been favored by his parents and grandmothers with his ability to coax people to be happy.
From childhood to adulthood, as long as the younger son breaks into trouble, or fights, or is at the bottom of the exam ranking, so that Aunt Cui's father-in-law can't look down, when she wants to discipline her grandson, Aunt Cui and her mother-in-law will go to protect the short.
The father-in-law felt very angry, accusing them of being a mother and a loser, and the habit of killing children was like killing children: "If he can't get into a good university in the future, can't find a decent job, and can't support himself and can't afford to marry a wife, what will he do?" ”
For her father-in-law's worries, Aunt Cui did not take it seriously at all, but naturally said her own thoughts: "It doesn't matter if Chen Chen is not out, there is his brother!" As long as the boss has an interest and can make a lot of money, can he still have a bite to eat in the morning? After that, ChenChen relied on his brother to raise well. ”
Aunt Cui thinks so, and does this, from childhood to adulthood, she teaches her eldest son to have the appearance of being an older brother, and to let her brother help her brother more.
When the eldest son had just graduated, the younger son was in his sophomore year, and Aunt Cui entrusted the matter of providing for the younger son to go to college. The eldest son gives his younger brother 2,000 yuan a month for living expenses, and the younger son still has not enough to spend, and he asks his brother for money in the middle of the month. The eldest son felt bad and refused to give, the younger son called Aunt Cui to complain, so Aunt Cui found the eldest son and scolded the eldest son for a week, asking the eldest son not to refuse to give money to the younger son.
02. The eldest son earns an annual salary of 400,000 yuan, but marries an unvirtuous daughter-in-law, not only refuses to help the little uncle, but also divorces;
Before Aunt Cui's eldest son got married, Aunt Cui's younger son lived a carefree life under the protection of his mother. However, two years ago, after the eldest daughter-in-law entered the door, Aunt Cui's idea of letting the eldest son raise the younger son for a lifetime could not be implemented at all.
"My eldest daughter-in-law is not filial, not virtuous, a shrew, selfish to the extreme, and does not look like a sister-in-law at all."
When it comes to the eldest daughter-in-law, Aunt Cui is angry and criticizes the eldest daughter-in-law as useless.
First of all, the eldest daughter-in-law did not regard the little uncle as a family at all, and not long after getting married, she made a fuss over the matter of her husband giving the little uncle living expenses, forcing her husband to cut off the grain given to the little uncle.
Then, Aunt Cui repeated the old trick, went to the door to make trouble, cried and made trouble, wanted to let the eldest son continue to raise the younger son, the eldest daughter-in-law did not back down, called out to her mother, and Aunt Cui scolded at the door of the community for an afternoon. The people around them read the joke, knew what happened, and blamed Aunt Cui one after another, and Aunt Cui eventually returned to her hometown in a very awkward way, but the purpose was not achieved.
In the end, Aunt Cui thought of a way to let the eldest son give her money in the name of filial piety to herself, and she transferred it to the younger son, but the daughter-in-law found out and asked for a divorce from the eldest son, so that the eldest son could get out of the house. The eldest son couldn't bear it, refused Aunt Cui's request, and had a big fight with Aunt Cui and his brother.
In desperation, Aunt Cui had to sell the house in her hometown, empty her savings, and marry her younger son.
03. If you refuse to help the little uncle, even if you give us a pension, do you have to worry about it?
In July last year, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a boy and asked her in-laws to take the baby, and Aunt Cui and her wife agreed.
Aunt Cui has long made a wishful thinking and made plans for the second half of her life: "First help the younger son with an 18-year baby, and then let the eldest son retire." ”
Aunt Cui plans to take care of her grandson until the grandson turns 18 and goes to college, during which time his wife will go to the factory to find a job, and the salary can be used to subsidize the younger son. When the grandchildren are in college, they are also nearly 80 years old and need to be taken care of, and then go to the eldest son's home, let the eldest daughter-in-law serve them in their old age, so that the younger son does not need to bear the responsibility of old-age care.
"If I don't let my eldest son subsidize my brother, then I will be responsible for providing for our pension, which is also to help my younger son relieve pressure, which is her obligation as a daughter-in-law."
However, what Aunt Cui did not expect was that the eldest daughter-in-law still did not do it, and ruthlessly pierced her idea: "The first 20 years of subsidies for the younger son, 80 years rely on our family of 3 to serve, Mom, you can really calculate." ”
The eldest daughter-in-law made it clear that the in-laws can go to the little uncle with the baby, they can't manage it, but from now on, the in-laws can only get 1,000 alimony per month, more than a dime, and the in-laws can never move to their homes, if the little uncle does not want them, they either live alone or go to the nursing home, the cost is equally divided between the two families.
Listening to the eldest daughter-in-law's words, Aunt Cui and her wife felt very flustered, only because the eldest son approved of his wife's approach. The younger son's family was not convinced, and came to the door to make trouble, but to no avail.
Aunt Cui and her wife still went to the younger son's house to take their grandson, and they did not believe that the eldest daughter-in-law would be so desperate, and the eldest son would sit idly by and ignore them.
04. Many times, it is not that the children are preoccupied and do not know how to be grateful, but that you are too chilling.
Hu Shi said: "If we want to reap the good fruits of the future, we must strive to plant new causes for the present. One grain after another will be harvested in a full house. ”
Many times, it is not that the children are preoccupied and do not know how to be grateful, but that you are too chilling. The palms of your hands and the backs of your hands are all meat, but you are uneven in your bowl of water, eccentric, so that other children cannot feel the love from the original family, and they have been wronged, how can they not feel cold to you?
When the children are young, the parents are eccentric, the bowl of water is uneven, and the evil causes are planted, and when the children grow up, they are at odds with their brothers and sisters, unwilling to watch over each other, dissatisfied with their parents, and unwilling to honor their parents, which is the consequence.
Where there is a cause, there must be an effect, and whoever sows the evil cause will taste it by that person.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Aunt Cui can live happily in her later years? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.