People need to be sincere, need to respect each other and treat each other equally, in order to get along well, but if you want to get along, you have to have the same three views, you have something to say to each other, and get along with people is still so, not to mention between lovers, if the values of two people are too different, not only can not say on a channel, but also contradictions, it is difficult to go to the end.
In real life, men are afraid of encountering the devil, women are afraid of meeting the phoenix man, not that the phoenix man is not good, they are afraid of encountering selfishness, ability and self-motivation, that is, there is no own opinion, will only put the original family in the first place, without the slightest concern for the feelings of the lover, this kind of phoenix man is the most difficult for women to accept.
Xu Lei and Yang Hao fell in love for half a year, the relationship has been very good, when Yang Hao took the initiative to pursue her, Xu Lei also felt very surprised, in her eyes, Yang Hao is tall and handsome, strong in business ability, high salary, often praised by the leader, on the contrary, he is ordinary, but did not expect Yang Hao to look at himself.
Later, not long after, the two people came together, Xu Lei has always had a good feeling for Yang Hao, the other party confessed that she also agreed, with the contact between the two people, there is more understanding of each other, Xu Lei's family is very good, but also an only child, Yang Hao is from the countryside, relying on reading to come to the big city, there is a younger brother at the bottom, last year Fengzi got married, after marriage or hanger Lang Dang, there is no stable job, has not settled down.
For the feelings of the two people, the girlfriend and parents both advised Xu Lei to let go, thinking that the other party was a phoenix man, and the reason why he liked her was to look at her family's property. In the face of the doubts of the people around her, Xu Lei did not listen.
Later, the parents could not help her, they had to agree to their marriage, but still left a heart eye, the mother said to Xu Lei: want to get married to give a dowry of 100,000 yuan, the marriage room must be prepared by the man's family, his salary is so high, there is no problem with a down payment, as for the dowry, I will give you another 100,000 yuan, and then bring it back, and I will also accompany a car, but don't tell each other first, first see what his attitude towards the bride price and the house is, are you sincere?
This time Xu Lei listened to it, she felt that the mother's request was not excessive, but Yang Hao was angry after listening, in his opinion, the dowry of 100,000 is equivalent to selling her daughter, not to mention that Xu Lei is still an only daughter, and she has to help with the pension in the future, so the dowry is so high and unreasonable, and for the house, it is considered that the house price is too high and cannot be bought.
Although Xu Lei loves Yang Hao very much, but when she saw that the other party was not willing to pay at all, she also had dissatisfaction, and finally proposed to go to her boyfriend's house to see, and later found out the problem, Yang Hao's brother bought a house after marriage, the down payment of the house was Yang Hao, and he was still helping to pay off the mortgage every month, his parents were helping to take the children and do housework at home, Yang Hao also gave them three thousand yuan a month for living expenses, so it is no wonder that he himself has no savings to buy a house.
In the face of Xu Lei's questioning, Yang Hao also admitted it, and said with a straight face: My parents are not easy, now that I have the ability, shouldN't I help the family? Is it wrong to give your parents three thousand yuan a month and do filial piety? My brother is having a hard time, is there a problem with helping him pay off his mortgage?
Xu Lei was completely disappointed and said directly: Okay, your own family, you can help the poor as you want, but don't catch me, it's over between us. After saying that, she proposed to break up, no matter how Yang Hao saved it, she did not want to turn back.
The writer Bondarev once said: The root of all human suffering stems from the lack of a sense of boundary. Whether it is family affection, love or friendship, it is necessary to have a sense of boundaries, but for the phoenix man, he will not be able to distinguish the primary and secondary of the original family and the small family, and will only blindly focus on the family, and even require the other half to unconditionally feed the original family, which eventually leads to the end of the relationship.