01. Import
Valentine's Day is coming, and many male readers ask me: Do you want to give luxury goods to your girlfriend?
In the relationship between the sexes, the underlying logic of a man giving a gift to a woman is a game, testing the depth of the other's desires through the value of the gift, and estimating how much feedback the other party can give himself.
The high-level logic of men giving gifts to women is to send needs, respect, security, and optimize and consolidate each other's feelings.
Today, Mei Niang will tell you a case, hoping to inspire men.
02. Case
This is a letter from Mr. Zhang, 35 years old, a salesman of a company.
In the letter, he said, Mei Niang is good, my girlfriend is tall, beautiful, and has many suitors, in order to defeat my love rival, I deliberately packaged myself as a rich second generation, and soon, she became my girlfriend.
After half a year of love, at the end of last month, my girlfriend took a fancy to a luxury bag worth 50,000 yuan, and I promised to buy it for her as a Valentine's Day gift.
A friend told me that instead of spending 50,000 to buy the real thing, it is better to spend a few hundred to buy a better high imitation, and now the high imitation is almost no different from the real thing.
So, I bought the same model of the high imitation and gave it to her in advance.
My girlfriend didn't see it as a fake at first, and happily agreed to my marriage proposal. Three days later, we got our licenses.
After getting married, my girlfriend quickly discovered my real financial situation: a monthly income of 7,000, no savings, and more than 30,000 credit card debts, a car was borrowed, a villa was rented, the bag she gave her was fake, she called me a liar and quarreled to divorce me.
Now Valentine's Day is coming, people have a romantic life, and my Valentine's Day has to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a divorce certificate.
After reading this male reader's letter, let's explore whether to give your girlfriend luxury goods on Valentine's Day.
03. Mei Niang said
The Japanese drama "Money Breaks Love" has such a line:
"The first step to living gracefully is to learn to use money gracefully. The way a person uses money will reflect that person's character, so the way of using money is actually a person's lifestyle. ”
The reason why many couples will overturn in the "gift-giving" link is mostly because of the huge difference in each other's views on money and consumption.
There is no right or wrong difference between the view of money and the view of consumption, as long as it is within the scope of their own tolerance, it is understandable, but in my opinion, giving gifts still has to abide by the two principles of "rationality" and "pleasing to people".
So, whether to give luxury goods,
The first thing to look at is the income of the individual.
If you have a decent income and good material conditions, then giving your girlfriend a luxury item or two on such an important day as Valentine's Day certainly should. Otherwise, how can you prove your love? Do you just rely on moving your mouth?
The second depends on the other person's preferences.
Not every girl likes luxury, and if she doesn't like it and doesn't understand the value of luxury, then it makes no sense for you to give away expensive luxury.
Some people may think that buying luxury goods is tantamount to stepping into the trap of consumerism, and it is better to give money directly. Miss by a mile.
Eileen Zhang said:
"No matter how rich a woman is, she also wants men to spend money for themselves, women spend their own money is a sense of achievement, and spending men's money is happiness."
The utility of a gift is composed of two aspects:
The first is the properties of the gift itself. Including the utility of the price, appearance, etc. of the gift;
The second is the thought and time spent by men when choosing gifts, as well as the utility of positive emotions such as surprise, happiness, and ritual.
A decent girl does not receive gifts to increase fixed assets, but to get the satisfaction and security of "he takes me to heart and is willing to spend money for me" from the gift.
Luxury goods are different from ordinary gifts in that they can give ordinary people the illusion of class jump, and to some extent, can alleviate identity anxiety, and are a placebo in ordinary days.
At the same time, luxury goods come with social attributes, and one of the meanings of its own existence is to save social costs.
Therefore, if you have money, the consumption level has reached, and your girlfriend likes it, then you boldly send it, it will warm up your feelings.
So what is wrong with Mr. Zhang in this case?
Think of every year around Valentine's Day, similar news appears:
"The man paid 300 yuan to buy a luxury item to give to his girlfriend, but he was evicted from the house by his girlfriend."
"After eight years of love, my boyfriend gave the woman a high imitation luxury on Valentine's Day, and the woman was angry and scratched her boyfriend's new car."
Do you know? There are two behaviors of men that make people most depressed: one is deception, and the other is to draw bread, led by deception.
A man who sends high imitation luxury goods is essentially satisfying his vanity and expecting his girlfriend to return him highly.
His girlfriend is nothing in his heart, nothing compared to his vanity and his money.
What's more, after men buy fakes and are discovered, they usually beat up and rebuke female vanity, such men do not break up, do they still keep the New Year?
In emotion, honesty and respect are the foundation.
Sending high imitation seems to be a small thing, but it is actually a big thing.
This shows that others have poor character, love vanity, do not respect their girlfriend, let alone love her, and at the same time, he underestimates his girlfriend's IQ and destroys her sense of security, and he is fooling his girlfriend like a fool.
Therefore, men must understand:
The decision on whether a girl is willing to go down with you is whether you can give her enough security.
When you give her something that looks extravagant but is actually cheap, her sense of security suffers greatly.
It's hard for her to convince herself that you are trustworthy and dependent.
Man, if you really love this woman, please show the greatest sincerity and give her the best within your ability, do not lose one over the other, because the small loses the big.
Many times, what a girl wants is not a luxury gift, but your sincerity, your actual actions of being good to her, that is the real luxury.
Love is the most expensive luxury.
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