Everything has an solution
Introduction: Whether love can go a long way is not only enough to have love between two people, but to grow together and work together to establish a healthy intimate relationship through continuous running-in.
Many people will feel that two people are not the same person when they encounter problems in their relationship, but know that no one in this world is tailored for you and fits you just right. A good relationship is never predestined, but requires two people to "build".
Only those who are willing to put in the effort and are willing to "build" in the relationship can have a good love.
Netizens asked
Hello teacher, I feel a little out of mind with my girlfriend.
First of all, I, I am currently in my junior year, preparing to go to college, I have participated in the student union in school, I am responsible for editing the articles of the public account, and I am the assistant of the class teacher. The future plan is to upgrade the cost and the public examination, and there is training every day, and the promotion is arranged in an orderly manner.
The words of the object are usually very emotional, no matter what the situation is, it is usually good to speak, and you can only speak softly to her, otherwise she will be angry. When we get along, I usually do very well, but basically miss out on better planning every time.
I met her in junior high school, and I advised her to eat breakfast at that time, and then she procrastinated, and now she has a serious stomach problem; Let her take medicine well, she only takes it when it hurts, and it stops immediately if it doesn't hurt; Tell her to read, can't read, in fact, she was at the top of the class before.
I advised her to study well, and then go to high school or college, but she didn't. After graduating from junior high school, I enrolled in vocational school, which went to vocational school for a year and then stopped reading, and then went to work. At that time, I found a labor operation number in Kuaishou, and more than a hundred people paid attention to that, almost overnight.
She had to take a bus to work more than 1,000 kilometers away, but I found it later, told her mother in time, and persuaded her to come back.
Then she found the beauty study she wanted to learn, and during the learning process, the institution recommended her to continue to apply for classes, 13,600 yuan, I helped her analyze, persuaded her not to report first, and get what she learned now, she promised to do well, and then secretly took out a loan.
Now she didn't continue to study, the first course was over, the teacher said that he could help her introduce work, that is, beauty-related, I also told her that she chose and could continue to engage, but she didn't go, saying that she didn't like this teacher.
Then now she dragged the loan to find a job as a waiter, open from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day, leaving work at eight o'clock, with a salary of about two thousand, and the current epidemic is at home.
Teacher, how do I want her to change together?
Usually she is very clingy, and listened to the teacher's recent public class, and the second section of this series said that she wanted to accompany.
I will send a message every day when I get up, tell her when I eat, and then chat for a while, and at night I will exercise and call her, she will not stop when she fights, basically I propose to sleep before it ends. Usually I would call until 11 o'clock, and before it would be 12 o'clock or 1 o'clock, I was very entangled and helpless.
In the teacher's previous change in his public class, he said that he should go to bed early and get up early, study at a fixed time, and form a virtuous circle, and I now study fitness every day, except for sudden arrangements at school.
The only thing that is uncontrollable is that she wants me to accompany me and want me to understand, but spending 4 hours a day sending messages and making phone calls feels too much time for study and rest, maybe I am too selfish.
What should I do if I ask the teacher to answer for me?
Questions and answers
Female behavior analysis
Obviously, the girlfriend of the netizen who asked the question is a little girl who is not sound in mind and mind, and the probability of such a little girl in life is very high.
They are unreasonable, emotional, do things unorganized, unarranged, do not follow rules and regulations, do whatever they want, are particularly susceptible to emotions, are impulsive, and will do a lot of unreasonable things.
The reason why she is like this, first of all, is related to gender, the rise of feminism in modern society, parents and families are doting on girls, there are no requirements for her, they only want her to be happy, and even many families think that girls do not need to be too good.
Parents have an almost laissez-faire attitude towards girls' mental construction, thinking construction, values, emotional intelligence construction, etc., in which case girls are delayed.
Secondly, women's mood swings themselves will be greater than men's, if in the process of growth, others have no requirements for her, no pressure, good study, whether things are done or not, no one cares, these girls are more likely to fall into a self-centered state.
Over time, when such thinking becomes a habit, they will lack reason, lack thinking, and be impulsive in dealing with things.
This is also a misunderstanding of many boys in the sexual relationship between the sex. For example, some boys think that "girls have long hair and short knowledge." "Boys ignore that in the process of growing up, they accept the outside world's preference for men, whether in terms of resources or energy.
Question: Boys and girls met in junior high school, there have been six or seven years now, love long-distance running is very difficult, it can be clearly seen that because of their young age, in the relationship between the two people, boys are almost laissez-faire for girls.
Girls are pampered and tolerated by their families and boyfriends, so they will now act willfully and will not listen to anyone.
Whether it is a problem of physical health or a problem of study, girls are "dying" themselves.
In behavioral psychology, what a person says, thinks, and does affects the psychology, so it is also possible to change the psychology by changing behavior.
If you want girls to change, you can't rely on preaching
The most terrible and ineffective method of education is blame education, and boys have always used this method.
I wanted her to cherish her body and eat breakfast, and said to her: "Why can't you eat breakfast well?" ”
I wanted her to take medicine to heal her illness, and said to her: "It's because you don't insist on taking medicine that your stomach hurts." ”
Wanting her to study hard, he said to her, "Why don't you study hard." ”
"If it goes on like this, this life will be over!"
……
In fact, many people have experienced such education when they are young, and they teach through rebuke and suppression.
But the biggest evil result of this method is resistance, some people may not see it on the surface, because they are afraid of being beaten and punished, so they dare not show it, but they are not convinced in their hearts, and even some evil people will specifically go backwards, especially adolescent people are more likely to do so.
In education, to describe a teacher's good education, this word is often used - follow the good seduction, follow the steps and order, lure is guidance, meaning to be good at step-by-step and orderly guidance, let him change little by little. Boys want girls to change, and they need to do the same.
For example, if a girl does not eat breakfast, accusing her of being useless, you can send breakfast to her and make her a loving breakfast, will she still not eat it?
Definitely not.
When she feels delicious, happy, and touched after eating, she will want to keep this feeling, and over time, this good feeling has undergone biological changes in the body, forming habitual behavior, and she will take the initiative to construct such a process, which is much more useful than you tell her the truth.
Many times, wanting to change a person is because she discovers that the other person is doing something wrong, and change is rewarding for her. But by reprimanding, accusing, making the other party feel that they are all negative emotions, of course she does not want to listen.
Only by making her feel the benefits of doing so will she continue to do it. You feel fragrant, let her smell it, you feel sweet, let her taste sweet, so that she can really know what fragrant and sweet really is.
It's hard for her parents to change her education, but as a boyfriend, you can influence her.
Love is not easy, what a boy needs to do is to accompany her, and in the process of companionship, to improve, enhance the way of getting along with her, don't always blame, just say that she doesn't listen to you.
Good love is growing together
Many people see the description of the questioning netizens, will say that the two people are not the same way, break up early and the like, people who think like this, the relationship is easy to encounter problems.
True love is not only ear curls and sweet getting along, but mutual support, mutual supervision, and common growth, so that love can be longer and better.
There is never a rule on what love should look like, and there is no tailor-made person for you, and your own love needs to be built by yourself.
Girls can talk to boys for three or four hours and do not want to hang up, which is trust and dependence on boys, and boys should make full use of this trust, help her, and change her.
But this kind of help and change does not stay in the mind, stays in the mouth, but should be put into action, will make a big difference in life.
Good life and love need to be cast, casting is not an adjective, but a verb, both people are still very young, there are still many possibilities in the future, the growth of two people is an important foundation in future life.
I wish a lover a family in the end!
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