01
The other day I saw a highly discussed post on the Internet, the question is if something happens to our brother or sister, are we obligated to raise their children?
The reply is divided into two factions, one faction feels obligated, after all, it is a close relative, does not care that the child let him self-destruct? The other faction feels that there are emotions, but there is no obligation, and the obligation should be that of grandparents and grandparents, after all, the property of brothers and sisters is also given to parents and children.
In fact, from the legal point of view, if the parents die, the order of the child's responsibility should be the grandparents and grandparents, followed by brothers and sisters, and as aunts or uncles, we can voluntarily choose whether to take care of the children.
So in fact, we are not obliged to raise the children of our brothers and sisters.
But sometimes, it is not a matter of obligation, but many people can't get past their own level emotionally.
02
Xiao Yang is the eldest in the family, there is a younger brother who is five years younger than himself, when he was a child, his brother was the prince who set thousands of pets in one, and he was the horse who pulled the cart for the prince.
If you say that you didn't blame your brother when you were a child, it sounds quite fake, but rather than looking at your brother unfavorably, he is more grateful to his brother for making him work hard, otherwise how can he be admitted to a key university and walk out of a small mountain village.
Xiao Yang is also the first child to go out of the village, and the people in the village are envious of the jealousy, but no matter what, Xiao Yang's parents also have face when they go out.
In the years just graduated, Xiao Yang did not earn much, but every time he went home, he would bring gifts to the villagers in the street, even if he had to eat a week's instant noodles next, Xiao Yang was also happy in his heart, in the eyes of the villagers, Xiao Yang was optimistic and generous, and everyone mentioned that he was praised without stopping his mouth.
The young man is excellent, the villagers are willing to introduce him to his girlfriend, every time Xiao Yang returns, the girls who come to the door are lined up, but Xiao Yang can't see one.
The girl he liked had to be knowledgeable, and the kitchen was like a kitchen under the hall, and the girls in the village were not suitable for him.
Xiao Yang did not like it, but gave his brother the opportunity to know more girls, although his brother dropped out of school early, and there was no serious job, but one person became a fairy chicken dog ascended to heaven, but there were really a few girls willing to marry him.
The younger brother is married, can the older brother not contribute money? After all, the family also did not save any savings for him to study, this dowry money, the money to build a house, Xiao Yang almost took over all.
Is Xiao Yang really rich? However, it is to play a swollen face and be fat, and borrow it without money, fortunately, Xiao Yang has strong business ability, and the borrowed money has not been repaid for several years.
But the younger brother is a bottomless pit, marriage is married, but there is no job, the child still can not be raised, Xiao Yang has to send half of his monthly salary to send home to support his brother's family, which also led to Xiao Yang wandering outside for many years, no money to buy a house.
After all, the age is not small, Xiao Yang also liked a few girls, but look at their own conditions, in the end still did not dare to say it.
In fact, once I had planned to confess to the girl I liked, but something happened at home.
The younger brother fought with a family in the same village, paralyzing the family, not only losing money, but also entering the bureau.
Originally, before this, Xiao Yang gave his brother a good job in the county, so he waited for the beginning of the month to report, seeing that the good day was coming, and this stick was filmed back to the prototype.
The parents were not young, stimulated by the brother's matter, they could not slow down for a long time, this brother-in-law and two children, Xiao Yang had to take care of it.
Later, Xiao Yang also kissed several times, obviously very good, as long as a chat about a brother's family needs to be taken care of, the woman immediately turned her face, Xiao Yang had to sigh, now people can be too realistic.
Fortunately, although love is late, but never absent, going around, Xiao Yang found that his girlfriend in college was not married, at that time, they were immature, and now they feel that the contradictions at that time are not a problem.
Both men understood each other's intentions, so neither of them told them and went to get a marriage license.
By the time Xiao Yang's mother knew, the two were already husband and wife.
Xiao Yang's mother is naturally happy when a daughter-in-law falls from the sky, but this son marries his daughter-in-law, can he still manage his brother's family in the future? This money does not all have to be managed by the daughter-in-law.
Xiao Yang's mother thought more and more that it was not OK, so she proposed the post-marriage AA system with her son and daughter-in-law, but Xiao Yang's wife was not stupid, and she knew Xiao Yang's problem before marriage, and since she was married, naturally there was a way to deal with these problems.
AA system, Xiao Yang's wife will not agree, she told her husband, everything or their own comfort is the most important, for her brother to pay so many years, is the heart really happy? People must first have small love to have great love, and first take care of themselves in order to take care of others.
In fact, at the beginning of marriage, Xiao Yang has been shaken, all he has paid over the years, but also for his own face, is he really willing to pay for his brother? In fact, it is not, now that he has his own family, it is time to let go.
In the end, Xiao Yang refused his mother's request, and the money given to his sister-in-law was less than half, after all, other people's lives should not be responsible for him.
When Xiao Yang's mother heard this, didn't she lose her wife and fold the army: "I'm all for the good of your brother's two children, you and your brother are a family, and your daughter-in-law will always be an outsider!" ”
Xiao Yang just shook his head, these days, he felt the warmth of his wife, this family has never given, he is also tired, and he does not want to pretend anymore, his wife has a sentence that is very right, always have to take care of themselves before they can take care of others.
03
Face is the most useless and unwilling thing in the world, if one day you really don't care about face, then your life will be a hundred times easier.
First: Both men and women must have the "ability" to make their own choices.
From an early age, we are dictated by choices about what to eat, what to wear, which university to go to, and what job to do.
Then we ask ourselves, which of these choices is really chosen by our own will?
When I was a child, what to eat and wear was arranged by my parents, and when I grew up, I wanted to go to my favorite profession, but I couldn't get the support of my parents, and finally I could only do what my parents wanted.
When we really go to society and find that we are free, we can choose our own lives, but we find that we have lost the ability to choose.
Have you ever wanted to do something at a certain moment and suddenly thought about what kind of choice your mother would prefer to make for herself?
Looking for a job, is it to choose what you like, or choose the iron rice bowl that your mother thinks?
Looking for a partner, is it to find what you like, or does your mother think that you have money and good family affairs, and can help you?
It turns out that unconsciously, our choices have been influenced by our parents, and we can no longer be ourselves.
Just like Xiao Yang in the above article, it seems that he is doing the things he chooses, but which one is what he really wants to do?
Obviously, you can live a dashing life, always buy a house of your own with the money you earn, boldly pursue the girl you like, and form a happy family.
However, he chose to help his brother and chose the face project, just because this is what his parents expected, just to earn a good reputation among the blind neighbors who can't eat and can't use.
Is such a life really what he wants? Obviously not, fortunately, in the end he found himself and made a new choice, otherwise he would have to live in the future, and he could only trap himself in a cage and could not extricate himself.
Second: Don't allow yourself to live a life of compromise.
What does compromise mean? It means lying flat, it means that this life is like this, I don't want to work harder, and I don't have the urge to change.
There are only two reasons why people compromise, one is to be forced to be helpless, and the other is to give up on their own initiative.
Persecuted compromises can still accumulate, and as long as others stop persecuting you, you can pick up your own strength and start over. And the compromise of giving up is that no one can save you.
People who have a bad life always say, what can I do? I am like this, the effort is useless, it is better to just forget it, tired is like this!
People who have not worked hard will say that effort is useless, you compromise with life, life is naturally willing to pressure you, who is not born smooth, compromise is the most useless choice.
People's lives will always encounter a lot of pits, just like Xiao Yang, he feels that no matter his brother's family, his brother will not be able to live, but is this really the case?
It is precisely because Xiao Yang's blind help makes his brother lie in the comfort zone and is unwilling to come out, but Xiao Yang is unwilling to change, and uses his most accustomed way to shelter his brother once at a time.
This is not a compromise.
So people, don't easily compromise with your own life, only if you try, it will become different, life, there should be infinite possibilities.
Text/No Pen