Life is full of disappointments,
Not all waiting will pay off.
You're smiling right, don't panic.
Because life is a practice, everything you experience,
It's all the accumulated experience of life,
So there's some truth to that.
Should have been understood earlier,
For example: mix well just want to make people's lives better,
It's not easy to think about others when you're mixed up badly.
01. It's not easy to mix badly and always think about others
There is a well-known sentence on the Internet:
"Do not persuade others to be good without suffering, for if you suffer through me, you may not be good to me."
Without really experiencing the lives of others, don't point fingers and persuade people to be kind,
This is the greatest kindness.
People who have experienced pain are more able to understand the pain of others,
Summary: People who are mixed badly always think about the difficulty of others.
Aunt Sue, 54, is a kind person,
She is the eldest of her siblings, and her younger siblings are called her eldest sisters.
Aunt Su's economic conditions are not good, but she is the most filial child,
She often visits her elderly parents.
Every time she went to visit her parents, Aunt Sue would bring some meat and vegetarian food.
As long as I return to my mother's house, aunt Su cooks and cooks.
But Aunt Su did all this, whether it was her parents, or her mother's brother and sister-in-law,
They all pick faults.
The parents of the mother's family think that Aunt Su put too much oil every time she stir-frys,
Wasted a lot of their oil and gas,
The younger brother and sister-in-law of the mother-in-law believe that
The ingredients that Aunt Su bought were not fresh enough, and she picked a cheap one every time.
These Aunt Sues are clear in their hearts,
But every time Aunt Sue did it,
Why?
Because in Aunt Su's heart, she felt that her parents were not easy.
She felt that her brother and daughter-in-law were busy and did not have time to take care of their parents.
And every time Aunt Su leaves,
She'll give her parents money.
But in her parents' view, Aunt Sue gave her parents money every time,
Compared with the little daughter, there are very few, and it is better not to give.
This is Aunt Sue's kindness, because she thinks that it is not easy for everyone,
Just want to give everyone the best.
At work, so is Aunt Sue,
Aunt Su once had a stable job in a factory near her home.
Later, because the efficiency of the factory was not good, it was necessary to lay off employees.
Aunt Su belongs to the old employees and cannot be laid off.
Everyone else is trying to keep their jobs.
But Aunt Su took the initiative to resign,
The reason was that she thought that the young girl in the factory,
It was harder than himself, so he gave her the job.
But everyone knows in their hearts that no matter where the little girl goes to work, she is very employed.
But for Aunt Sue, it was too difficult to find a stable job.
Aunt Sue's personality is kind and considerate,
She can't have the slightest chance to resist.
As long as she resists or complains, there will be many people who persuade her to be kind.
Or tell her about your difficulties.
This is the kind Aunt Sue, life does not allow her to have a chance to resist,
She always thinks about the difficulties of others, but she never thinks about how difficult she is.
There are a lot of people like Aunt Sue around,
Having tasted the sufferings of the world, but having a good heart,
Often the mixture is also the worst.
As long as this truth is truly experienced,
You will understand,
It can be seen that it is not easy to always think about others, and it is easy to lose yourself.
As Sanmao once said: "Living peacefully with others without principle is, in my opinion, cowardice." ”
There is a famous "broken window effect" in psychology.
Simply put, when a person violates your boundaries, you don't refuse in time,
Your cowardice will turn into connivance, which will make the other party unscrupulous and inching forward.
Can be kind, but be sure to build your own sense of boundaries,
Tell everyone what can and can't.
02. Mix well just to make life better
People who are mixed up well always think that it is not easy for others,
But people who mix well only want to make life better,
The starting point between the two is different,
The results are completely different.
Zhang always has a life motto: people are not fierce, unstable,
Whether it's managing a company or to yourself,
He adheres to this principle.
Someone in the company is late, Zhang zong said one is not two, no matter what the reason should be fined,
For myself, a report is not done well, and the whole company is working overtime up and down.
The reason he did this was to make life better.
So Mr. Zhang, in addition to his work colleagues,
There are no particularly nice friends,
The relationship with relatives and friends is also gradually drifting away.
Mr. Zhang rarely went home, and rarely gave money to his parents.
His parents begged him to help support his brother,
Mr. Zhang chose to refuse, for the simple reason that he thought his own path should be taken by himself.
Although Mr. Zhang is "fierce", friends and relatives are polite to Mr. Zhang.
Among them, Zhang Zong's parents, for this son, there has never been only praise.
Mr. Zhang only wants to make people's lives better, so he missed a lot,
Before there is time to fulfill filial piety, the parents are no longer alive;
Without accompanying the child, the child has grown up;
Without a wife, the two have divorced,
A better life, leaving too many regrets.
When Huang Bo once interviewed, he said lightly:
"In the past, in the crew, I always met all kinds of people, all kinds of careful machines, but now (I have become famous), I am surrounded by good people, and every one of them is full of smiling faces."
It can be seen that when you are strong, the whole world will be pleasant to you
The man who mixed well tasted the sweetness, he just wanted to make life better,
This truth can only be understood after really experiencing it.
03. The truth that should have been understood long ago
Two truths,
A good person only for others,
A selfish person only for himself,
The result is two completely different results.
The first is too kind, always thinking about others is not easy;
The second way is to think about yourself, to make life better, and to make the world more pleasant,
Two truths that should have been understood long ago can better live this life.
When you understand the two truths, you will understand that you should not be too kind.
You need to build your own sense of boundaries, so that when someone else violates your sense of boundaries, you know how to resist and tell him not.
You will also understand that in addition to making life better, life needs more warmth in order to leave no regrets.
The fusion between the two, rational and emotional, this is the ideal life.
There are some truths that can only be known after experiencing them,
There are some truths that should have been known earlier,
While life is still too late,
Build your own sense of boundaries,
Increase the temperature of life,
Let the world be pleasant to itself and face at the same time,
Reduce regrets,
Achieve success,
This is life.
You tell me?
I am January Love August, watching other people's stories and tasting my own life. If the article helps you, I hope you will also help me. How far a person can go, the key lies in who to walk with, I use the whole way across the mountains and seas, I hope to get your "like" praise.