01
It is the responsibility of the parents to take care of the children, which is clearly stipulated by law, and the parents are the legal guardians of the children. Grandparents have no responsibility and obligation to bring children, they take children, that is out of love for their children, is to reduce the burden of children.
But now some children feel that the elderly help with the children, which is a matter of course and a matter of course. If the elderly do not help, but feel that it is not right, they have great opinions on the elderly, and some even threaten not to give the elderly pension.
In fact, the family should be considerate and tolerant of each other. If the elderly have the ability, they will help their children, and it is not easy for their children. Not to mention that raising children is not all hard work, and there is a lot of fun! Children should know how to be grateful, be brave enough to take on family responsibilities, and not bother others casually.
02
After the daughter-in-law gave birth, the mother-in-law came to take care of her confinement, and the daughter-in-law thanked the mother-in-law and gave her 2,000 yuan of pocket money. After the eldest sister knew about this matter, she felt that her sister-in-law gave too little and said bad things about her sister-in-law in front of her mother. After the younger brother overheard it, he thought that his sister had provoked family conflicts and had a big fight with his sister.
This is what happened to Ge Shuangshuang's family, after Ge Shuangshuang was out of confinement, he took the child himself. She is afraid that if she continues to let her mother-in-law take the child, there will be family conflicts, because the eldest sister is very good at provoking trouble. Let's hear the story of their family.
Self-narrator: Ge Shuangshuang
Age: 33 years old
Occupation: Stay-at-home mom
City: Yichun
03
When my husband and I got married, my parents gave me a house to marry, and my husband also had a house, so we both had two houses. After getting married, I rented out my house for expenses, so my husband and I were financially okay.
The mother-in-law lives in the countryside, the father-in-law watches the door in a private factory, and the mother-in-law works as a cleaner in that factory. The old couple also planted some vegetables, raised some chickens and ducks, etc., and had a good life. On weekends, my husband and I sometimes went to my in-laws' house, sometimes to my parents' house, and brought them something.
I hadn't been pregnant for two years after I got married, and my eldest sister started chewing her tongue. My eldest sister is 4 years older than my husband, and her husband's family is in the neighborhood next door to us. When my in-laws bought a marriage house for my husband, I wanted to live closer to my daughter's home, and there was a care between the sister and brother.
The first time I heard my eldest sister tell her mother-in-law that I was not pregnant, she told her to take care of it. After I told my husband about this, he said that my eldest sister also cared about us and told me not to take it to heart.
Later, I heard my eldest sister tell my mother-in-law that I was not pregnant a few times, and my mother-in-law's attitude gradually changed. One day, my mother-in-law asked me why I was not pregnant, was I contraception? If you are not in contraception, do you want to see a doctor, is there a problem?
04
I told my husband what my mother-in-law meant, and said that having a child is not a matter of one person, why only ask me to check? My husband felt embarrassed to go to the hospital to see this kind of problem, so he told me not to go.
I didn't go to the hospital, and as a result, my eldest sister said to me in person, saying that I had no problem, so I didn't dare to go to the hospital for examination! I was very unhappy to hear this, so I argued with her, and she taught me a lesson because she was older than my husband. When my mother-in-law saw us quarreling, she immediately came to persuade us to fight, and scolded the eldest sister for being troublesome.
After more than 4 months, I suddenly became pregnant, and the family was naturally very happy! My husband asked my mother-in-law to take care of me, but only two days after my mother-in-law came, my eldest sister came to my house to count me down, saying that I was not pregnant, what a big deal, but also needed someone to serve...
Listening to those words, I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, as if I was such a useless person. So I asked my husband to let my mother-in-law go back, I don't need someone else to take care of me, I don't want to be in a bad mood during pregnancy.
After my mother-in-law returned to the countryside, we didn't call her again until after I gave birth to my son, and she didn't come to take care of my confinement. Since my mother-in-law came to take care of my confinement, my eldest sister has come to my house almost every day, because her home and my family are in the next neighborhood, which is very convenient to come and go.
05
The eldest sister said that she had come to visit her mother and her nephew, and I could not drive her away. But after she came, she always gave orders like a leader came to inspect the work. Even if we buy our children any brand of diapers, she has to take care of it, and if we don't listen to her, she scolds us.
I became more and more disgusted with my eldest sister, but I was afraid of causing family conflicts, so I put up with it again and again. The eldest sister does not go to work, and every day there is time to run to our house, and I really annoy her.
My husband went to work during the day and didn't know the real situation at home, he worked very hard. Because my mother-in-law lives with us, I don't want to create family conflicts, and I don't want my husband to be embarrassed between three women, so I didn't tell my husband about the situation of my eldest sister.
After my mother-in-law came for more than half a month, I think it was quite hard for her to take care of me and my children. I gave her 2,000 yuan and let her use it as pocket money, which was a show of my heart, and the daily expenses of our family were calculated separately. My mother-in-law didn't want to push me around, but in the end I gave it to her.
I know that my mother-in-law is not short of this 2,000 yuan, and she and her father-in-law are not nervous. But because I gave it to her and represented my heart, my mother-in-law was particularly happy and couldn't close her mouth with a smile.
06
The next day there was something going on in my husband's unit, and the boss told him to rest at home for a day. When it was almost noon, the eldest sister came, and the mother-in-law told the eldest sister about the 2,000 yuan I gave her yesterday, which caused a family conflict.
The mother and daughter were talking in the kitchen, and the eldest sister did not know that my husband was at home, and my husband had a rare day off and slept in bed. Later, when my husband went to the bathroom and heard his eldest sister and mother-in-law in the kitchen talking about the 2,000 yuan, he became angry.
It turned out that the eldest sister thought that the 2,000 yuan I gave was too small, saying that I was an iron rooster, so that my mother-in-law should ask me for more money. She said that if her mother-in-law couldn't open her mouth, she would help her mother-in-law tell me that if I dared not give, she would quarrel with me.
The husband asked the eldest sister that when she was confinement, her mother-in-law went to serve her, how much money did she give to her mother-in-law? The eldest sister did not give a single point, she felt that her mother should take care of her, and now her mother-in-law should not take care of me, because I am not born to my mother-in-law.
The husband said that the child is also his, the mother-in-law helps the daughter's family to take care of the child, can not need money, why help the son's family to take care of the child, you have to collect money? The two brothers had a big fight, and then the husband scolded the eldest sister and ran away, saying that she was stirring up and returning to her mother's house to create family conflicts.
07
When the husband and the eldest sister quarrel, the mother-in-law is sandwiched in the middle of the dilemma, for her palms and the backs of the hands are meat, she does not know who to help? I heard my husband scold the big sister's words, I feel really relieved, my husband is not wrong at all, the big sister is a stick.
After I was out of confinement, my mother-in-law still wanted to continue to help us with the children, but I asked my husband to let my mother-in-law go back! Because if the mother-in-law continues to help us with the children, the eldest sister will definitely come again, and there will be contradictions again.
I don't want to have an unpleasant quarrel with my mother-in-law, so I take advantage of the politeness between my mother-in-law and me now, or live separately! Anyway, I still have a rent income, I don't worry about no money, so I am a full-time mother at home, wait for the children to be older and then go to find a job, and my husband is also in favor of doing so.
When my mother-in-law left my house, she said if we needed her help, just call her and she would definitely come. But then I have never bothered my mother-in-law, the children's affairs are all done by myself, and our family of three is very happy.
epilogue:
Living at home seems to be some trivial things, but the accumulation of trivial things will also cause big problems. There are many vicious incidents, which are actually caused by trivial household chores, so don't underestimate these family trivia.
After the girl marries out, if the mother's family still has brothers, don't mix too much with the affairs of the mother's family. If you are an only child, you go back to mix with the affairs of the mother's family, there is no problem, and the affairs of the mother's family are also responsible for you.
In families with many children, many parents still follow the old tradition, that is, their daughters marry out and their sons stay at home to pass on the generations. If this is the case, if the daughter always goes to take care of the affairs of the mother's family after she gets married, then there is a good chance that contradictions will be managed.
Therefore, after the daughter marries out, she can help her mother's family more if she has the ability, and if she is not able, she will manage her own life, and do not blindly mix with the life of the mother's family. Parents see that their daughter has done something inappropriate, but also in time to remind and stop her, everyone must understand their own position.
The family and everything are happy, a big family is harmonious, tolerant and considerate of each other, this big family will be happy. Everyone strives to manage their own affairs, take on their own responsibilities, and respect others. For the elderly to help with children, children can not force the elderly, the elderly must also do what they can.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.