Husbands and wives live in each room after a quarrel, and no one pays attention to anyone. A week later, the wife couldn't resist and wrote on a note: "Honey, I'm going to sleep with you tonight." "Then let the dog take the note."

Husbands and wives live in each room after a quarrel, and no one pays attention to anyone. A week later, the wife couldn't resist and wrote on a note: "Honey, I'm going to sleep with you tonight." Then ask the dog to give the note to her husband. After a while, the dog grabbed the note. The wife opened it and saw that it said, "I refuse to sleep with the dog!" ”

2. After graduating from the 211 University of Finance and Economics, he entered a pharmaceutical company as a marketing manager. I usually have a very busy job, and I don't have time to go home. Once, during a long vacation, I took the bus home and lost five yuan without change. A buddy in the back immediately got into the car and saw that I had invested five dollars, and immediately took out five dollars. He said to me: "I haven't taken a car in a few days, and the price has risen so fast!" I was a little embarrassed and said, "Dude, I don't have any change..."

3. I just picked up a wallet on the bus. When I opened it, I found that there was not a penny inside, only a lot of documents and a note. The note had a phone number and a sentence: If you find it, please contact me for a heavy reward. I immediately made a call, and half an hour later, the owner came, thanked me warmly, and was ready to leave. I reminded, "Big brother, the note is written..." Before I could finish speaking, the owner interrupted me: "My name is heavy gold!" ”

4. My husband accidentally sprained his foot on the way to buy me fried chicken, and I felt guilty that I had served him well for half a month. Today my husband can finally go out, just walked to the park, a grandfather came to him and asked him: Boy, can you still kick the shuttlecock? I couldn't help but tell him: What are you talking about? He sprained his foot just right, how could he kick the shuttlecock! Uncle: You know, that day we kicked the shuttlecock, he came over and tried to mix it, and he sprained himself!

5. When the rich second generation drove the Maserati back to the countryside, he met an old uncle at the mouth of the village, and the rich second generation said, "Uncle, what is the reason for your longevity?" The old man said: "I never drink, do not smoke, go to bed early and get up early!" At this time, there were sounds of smashing things and shouting and scolding next door, and Fu Er Dai said, "What's going on?" The old man said, "My father, he is a smoker, he drinks heavily every day, and he scolds people when he has no alcohol!" ”

6. Last night, I heard that the two people next door were arguing again, so I rushed to the fight. Just when I entered the door and saw the woman taking a spatula to beat the man, I quickly went up and grabbed it. The woman yelled at me: Give it to me! The man also shouted at me: Give it to her, let her fight! I was stunned, since the two agreed, I returned the weapon to the woman, and left in a state of ignorance of the man... Listening to the screams coming from the house, I laughed!

7. The girlfriend split her legs and found a tall and mighty man. I broke up with him heartbreakingly, but didn't delete V-letter friends. 10 days ago, my girlfriend posted a selfie in a black and white striped T-shirt in the circle of friends. My comment: Now the prison treatment is good, and you can also be allowed to wear labor uniforms and send circles of friends. Today, I received a courier and opened it to see that inside was my selfie, black and white. There is also a sentence on the back of the photo: Heaven is worry-free, may you always be healthy!

8. On the day of my high school graduation ceremony, I confessed to the male god I had a crush on for three years. Just when I was about to say the words of confession, I did not expect that today the male god said to me: "Send you something with gold and treasure, do you want it?" I was so happy at the time, replying: "Let you break the bank!" I saw the male god take out a beautiful box from his pocket and say, "Actually, I have been hiding from you for a long time, and I like you." I opened the gift box with a look of emotion: "Golden Throat Treasure Tablet." ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #