Today, the female colleague wore a very revealing dress, let me give a little evaluation, I looked at it and said: Let me have the urge to commit a crime. She actually said then you act, I don't blame you. I'm excited

Today, the female colleague wore a very revealing dress, let me give a little evaluation, I looked at it and said: Let me have the urge to commit a crime. She actually said then you act, I don't blame you. Excited, I went up and held her, pulled the gold necklace around her neck and left. I'm so glad that this kind of thing has happened to me.

2. Rented a Mercedes to go to a class reunion and satisfy my vanity! The goddess who once had a crush sat next to me, recorded a video with her phone, and sent it to her husband. I looked at it curiously, and it said: See, our classmates are like this, why don't you rest assured? The goddess's husband said, "Then you should come back early." The goddess replied: Rest assured, I have a bad heart in my heart, and I have no appetite. After reading it, I turned my head silently, and the goddess put down her mobile phone and clipped a large elbow to eat happily. I was curious again, and asked the goddess very seriously: How did you eat 250 pounds?

3. In the summer, the sun is shining, and people can be directly roasted when walking on the road. Coupled with the fact that it has not rained for a long time, and there has been a drought, it can be described as miserable. In desperation, I had to call my girlfriend to the house and beat her up. My girlfriend cried and asked me why, and I replied, "Didn't I once tell you that if you're okay, it's a sunny day." ”

4. I am a student of mechatronics at Zaozhuang Vocational College of Science and Technology and have loved our department for a year. Today I asked her to dinner and prepared to confess to her. It was a long time before I plucked up the courage to say to her, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Tie Hua replied shyly, "Not yet." I said excitedly, "Can you be my boyfriend?" ”

5. Yesterday I had dinner with a couple of college roommates. I went a little late because there was still a little thing in the company that I hadn't finished. As a result, this group of two goods poured me wine. I excused myself as having been unwell lately and should not drink more alcohol. As a result, a housemate took my arm and said, "I don't know how long you'll live, but I know you'll live until you die."

6. One day, when I was idle, I went to the gambling stone market and suddenly found that there was a stone on the stall that was very strange. Very attractive, the key is only selling for 5 bucks!! I think it's five dollars anyway, and I can afford it. So I bought it!! On the spot to open the stone, never expected ah, not only did not make money but lost five thousand yuan!! Because the stone broke the man's saw blade!!

7. Playing with my wife in a park, passing by a high stone arch bridge. My wife pointed to the bridge and said to me, treat it as a broken bridge, you are at this end, I go to the opposite side, you are Xu Xian, I am the white lady, two minutes later, we both ran to the top of the bridge at the same time, understand? I nodded my head in agreement, and when the time came, I pulled my leg and ran to the bridge, and before I reached the top, I shouted: Mother... The other word was suppressed by me, because from the opposite side came a big mother, and my face was flushed. The big mother suddenly opened her mouth: Child, you have recognized the wrong person!

8. My boyfriend came home from vacation and came to me, just as my little nephew and eldest niece were at home. The boyfriend gave the niece two hundred dollars to take your brother out to eat something nice and have fun. The little girl put down the remote control and pouted her mouth to look at me and my boyfriend. Don't think that if you spend me, I don't know what you want to do... For two hundred dollars, the TV shows you two hours.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #