1, when the wife and his boss returned from a business trip, it was already twelve o'clock in the evening. When my wife came home, she lay down beside me and fell asleep. In the middle of the night, my wife suddenly sat up, which startled me, and I slammed

1, when the wife and his boss returned from a business trip, it was already twelve o'clock in the evening. When my wife came home, she lay down beside me and fell asleep. In the middle of the night, my wife suddenly sat up, which startled me, and I woke up suddenly and asked: What? The wife patted her chest, gasped and said: I just dreamed that you fell into the river, and I was scared to death. After hearing this, my heart was very touched, and I was just about to hug her. The wife said: I chased you on the shore and asked for your passbook password, but you just didn't say it, and you woke me up urgently.

2. I remember when I was in elementary school, everyone was very obsessed with Jin Yong's novel "Tianlong Babu". A book is read by the whole class in turn, and they are very happy to read it. On this day, the book arrived in my hand, and I was in a math class, but I couldn't understand it, so I secretly read the novel below. Unexpectedly, he was discovered by the teacher, came over and confiscated the book, and shouted: Give me the other seven copies!

3. A friend falls in love with a beautiful woman in a bar. On this day, she was invited to dinner at a five-star hotel, and also stated in advance that this meal was AA. The two spent 20,000 yuan on dinner, and the brothers felt very distressed. The beauty took the initiative to end the 20,000 and never contacted again. The buddy called and asked, "Why didn't you contact me?" Beauty smiled slightly and said: How can a woman who has been spoiled by a lion look at a wild dog?

4, recently want to buy a car, but also almost money, want to go to the good buddy's house to borrow a little, to the buddy's home to explain the intention, wrapped in sheets of buddy from the sofa down from the loud shout: "Wife, give me pants, I went to the bank to see if there is any money in the card!" The voice of the buddy's wife came from the bedroom: "No, today Saturday, it's my turn to wear pants!" "I was stunned, if I hadn't seen a big durian on his table, I wouldn't have believed that his family was really poor!"

5. Since her sister-in-law got married, her weight has been increasing. Yesterday I asked my sister-in-law to have dinner together, and I was shocked to see her 200 pound figure. I couldn't help but say: "Before you got married, you only had 100 pounds, and now you are 200 pounds, are you going to be fat all the time?" The sister-in-law said, "Alas, I blame my husband for this!" Curious, I asked, "You look so fat, is it related to your husband?" Sister-in-law: "When we got married that year, the average price of our bride price there was 30,000, and my father asked my husband for 100,000 yuan, and he felt very bad!" Me: "What does that have to do with your weight?" Sister-in-law: "When I grow to 300 pounds, won't he lose money!" ”?

6, my parents bought a house in the city, in order to pay off the mortgage, my parents went to work in an electronics factory in other places. I live in my grandfather's house in the countryside and often play hide-and-seek with my friends in the village. Usually I'm very nice to the puppies at home, so he follows wherever I go. Every time I play hide-and-seek, I don't care where I hide, as long as I see my puppy on the side and feel that I can find me. In order not to let the puppy follow, I threw him two steamed buns, while he was not paying attention to the bottom of the cabinet. To my surprise, I was not found by my friends, but the puppy found that I was missing after eating the bun and directly dragged me out from under the cabinet!

7, a few years ago with my aunt to travel, sleep in a room at night. When I woke up the next day, I found that my aunt had heavy dark circles and asked my aunt what was wrong. Aunt said, you said that you are a girl's family, sleep snoring even if it is, but also hit so personality, each snoring with a sharp whistle, very diuretic, I did not do anything one night, clean on the toilet!

8. The doctoral student who has just graduated has become the door-to-door son-in-law of the real estate owner. He has been following his father-in-law, and after 10 years, he drove Bentley back to his hometown with his son to visit his old mother. He looked at the old cow on the field and felt very kind, this time the call came, he used a Bluetooth headset to connect! Suddenly his son ran over in a panic! Him: "What?" Is it so urgent? Son: "Grandma said you've been talking to the cow here for half an hour, and asked me to come and see!" ”

9, my girlfriend who just talked about broke up again, the girl is my high school classmate, but still could not accompany me to the back of the queen. At work, a female colleague came over to inquire about the situation curiously, and I sighed and showed her a screenshot of the chat between the two of us. My girlfriend sent me a picture of her, and I sighed back to my girlfriend message: You found that no, girls will grow up more and more beautiful! The girlfriend looked back at the message and asked: And then what? I replied: Why didn't you include you?

10. When my cousin just finished taking the driver's license, he paid a down payment to buy a Cadillac XLR. As a result, he could not afford to pay off the car loan now, so he had to introduce his cousin to an old rich man and get paid 2 million yuan. After my wife heard about this matter, she asked me: If you don't have any money in the future, will you sell me? I was stunned and said, "Definitely not." After saying that, I turned back and whispered: You are not worth much! The wife asked again: Then why did you marry me? Me: Because it's cheap!

11. Qingqing played a game yesterday afternoon, and a wave of group battles broke out in the middle of the road, 5 for 4, and there was still a shooter and 1 creep left on the opposite side. Qingqing saw that the ID of the opposite shooter was a string of numbers, Qingqing quickly took out another mobile phone, dialed this number, the opposite end passed, the shooter himself seemed to be a little anxious, asked Qingqing and said: Who are you? Qingqing said leisurely: I am the opposite assistant.?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #