I have a friend who does paternity testing, he said that one day a father felt that his son was not his own, secretly saved a few hairs, went to do a paternity test, and found that his son was really not self

I have a friend who does paternity testing, he said that one day a father felt that his son was not his own, secretly saved a few hairs, went to do a paternity test, and found that his son was really not his own. At that time, he looked at the appraisal in a daze, and his face was gray. After a long time, he walked slowly to my friend, returned the appraisal to him, and said, "Leave this appraisal result here forever!" Adoptive relatives are more intimate than blood relatives, children are innocent... When I die, if my son wants, he can come and check. "Say it, turn away... My friend said it was the most loving father he had ever met.

2. After the death of his mother-in-law, everyone was worried about the old man's silence, and they all advised him to find one. Some time ago, when the old man played with the mobile phone to fight the landlord, he met a girl, and the two were particularly compatible and made an appointment to meet. Before the meeting, the girl told the old man, "I am fat. The old man asked, "How many pounds?" She said: "120. The old man thought to himself, "120 is not fat, the meat is very cute." "Then meet and see, good fellow, less than a meter tall.

3. My daughter went to a junior college and went straight home after graduating from college. After returning home, my daughter stayed at home every day to play on the computer, and found her a job as a clerk and did not work. Today, when I was cleaning up for her at home, I found that there were police uniforms, nurses' uniforms, flight attendant clothes, and maid clothes hanging in the closet. It turned out that she had done so many jobs for the family, and I had always blamed her, I was really not a qualified father.

4. When I was in high school, I was fascinated by games, and all my monthly living expenses were recharged into the games. I was poor in my studies and poor in my studies, and I did not enter the university for the college entrance examination, so I went to a private college to study. As a result, there was a bully with a score of 703 in the college entrance examination in our dormitory, because his family was poor and could not afford to go to college. The roommate does not smoke or drink, is a standard obedient boy, no matter how much we threaten Li You, he just does not smoke or drink. On this day, the head of the room said: If you look at people going to the grave, they all smoke and pour wine, you neither smoke nor drink, will your son insert a lollipop for you when he goes to see you in the future, and pour a cup of cool and crooked? After listening to the bully roommate, he embarked on the road of depravity with us...

5. At night, my wife and girlfriend came home shopping and complained to me: Today is very unlucky, a person pushed three rounds of retrograde and hung my pants! Me: You can scold so much, why don't you scold him? The wife said: I just wanted to be mad, a look at the sale of grilled gluten, I asked him more money, he said two dollars a string, and then he asked me if I wanted chili peppers, I said to come to 5 strings less peppers, and then I actually scolded him about this matter.

6. One day at work, the leader asked me to introduce myself in the conference room, so that everyone could understand me a little, know me more, and better integrate into this big group. I said in a very restrained manner in the conference room: "Hello everyone, my name is xxx, my specialty is sleeping!" The boss did not understand: "Sleep can also be considered a specialty?? Before I could finish speaking, a very handsome male colleague below smiled and said, "Because she sleeps for a long time!" I saw the boss quietly say to the person next to him: "Pay more attention to this new person in the future." ”

7. In order to fulfill my dream of opening a clothing store, I sold the Passat, which I had been operating for 4 years. My wife didn't have a job, so I let her be the store manager. Because the business in the store was too busy to come, the wife asked her sister to help her cashier. A month later, we sold more than 1,000 pieces of clothing in the store, and the result was that the account was lost! Yesterday, colleagues came to the store to pick out clothes, and the wife's sister calculated that it was a total of 999 yuan. My colleague immediately gave her 1,000 yuan, and she immediately found my colleague 111 yuan. I saw it and said, "How did you figure it out so quickly?" My wife's sister smiled and said, "When I was in school, I was very mentally arithmetic, I was a representative of mathematics, and I certainly couldn't be wrong!" ”

8. The company has taken over a new project in the past few months, and I have been doing a very good job of this project. Today the boss called me to the office and said to me: "There are 500 pieces in this red envelope, the special contribution award of this project!" Other prizes do not have prize money, you just take it, don't say anything to the outside! I thanked the boss and came out, secretly inquiring whether the colleague who also won the award in the project had a bonus, and the colleague said: "No! We're on a 7-day tour of Paris! "It turns out that the old class did not lie to me!"

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #