Source: Meet Weian-studio
In the past, I always felt that getting married was a very distant thing, but in the blink of an eye, it has automatically jumped into your life plan in line, especially in the face of modern young people facing the various marriages of the elderly family, which makes it a topic that cannot be avoided.
In fact, many young people, not because they don't want to get married, but in the face of marriage, they always feel that they are not ready for everything.
So, what kind of state is suitable for entering marriage?
Maybe each couple has a different answer to this question, but before deciding to get married, be sure to ask each other these six questions.
Are the three views of each other really the same?
Some people say that the five senses determine whether two people can fall in love together, and the three views determine whether they can start a family together.
Only two people with similar three views can live together for a long time, and this is not only reflected in many big aspects:
For example, like a big city or a small city, like to work hard or live comfortably, accustomed to regular savings or advanced consumption...
Only by agreeing on these aspects can it be possible to challenge the long-term marriage relationship, otherwise, if you quarrel over various things every day, how can the relationship between each other be stable and long-lasting?
In the face of problems, can you communicate in a timely manner?
The reason why many couples around them have not been able to enter the marriage is not that their feelings for each other are not firm enough, but because they encounter problems and do not communicate in time, so they regret to break up.
Two completely different people, because they like each other to choose to leave the original family and form their own small family, must encounter a lot of problems, from the choice of life, career planning, to what to eat for dinner, whether you can keep the contact information of the ex in the end...
In fact, the most important thing is not what problems we encounter, but what kind of ways we choose to solve them.
If we can sit down with each other and communicate calmly and in a timely manner, I believe that more than 90% of the problems can be solved.
Before entering marriage, be sure to ask each other: Can this be done?
Decide when to have children? Who brings it?
Many people subconsciously feel that since they have decided to get married, it must be a natural thing to have a baby, especially our parents, often have children as soon as they get married.
But now young people don't think so, in our eyes, marriage and having children are really two things, many people who enter marriage are not necessarily suitable for raising children; and there are many people who do not want to be responsible for a small life so quickly, and there are many small couples who want to experience the world of two people.
So, before marriage, plan when to have a baby, and if you have a baby, who is mainly responsible for bringing it? Is it two people working together? Or do you have parents to help, or are you looking for a sister-in-law?
Communicating these issues well can prepare in advance and avoid many problems.
Who does the day-to-day chores?
In the eyes of many people, this is really a small thing that cannot be small, but these small things will inadvertently consume the feelings between you.
It is no longer the traditional era of "female inside and outside male", many people have their own careers and jobs, then the division of labor in housework is particularly important.
Many couples with good emotions around them, daily housework is basically handled together: you stir-fry vegetables, I cut vegetables, you cook, I wash dishes, clean up together on weekends, dry quilts, and daily small days can be as bright and poetic as ever.
Don't think that since they are all married, it doesn't matter if one party pays more, in a few years and more, it is inevitable that the person who pays more will not be resentful.
Are you really ready to start a family?
Many people choose to get married not because they subjectively want to get married, but because everyone around them is married, because they can't stand being urged by their parents, because they have reached the age of marriage.
In fact, these ideas are choices made because of the intervention of external forces, and they are not really thought in their hearts at all, so that entering the marriage will often have more problems.
I haven't really understood what it means for two people to live together, I haven't been prepared to take responsibility for a family, I still don't know what it means to be truly dependent on each other, how can I maintain a good marriage?
Are you sure that the other person is the most important person in each other's lives?
To choose marriage is to choose responsibility.
In addition to parents, the other party is the most important person in our lives, the first person to discuss problems, the person who has to make decisions together when encountering major events, and the first person to rescue people when they encounter danger.
For the rest of your life, you have to go hand in hand, there is no such consensus, how to resist the ups and downs that will occur in the future?
Whenever you arrive, you have to remember:
Marriage is important, you have to choose a partner for yourself for decades to come, a child for your parents, a dad/mom for your child.
So, really be careful, if you choose the wrong person, it is not just yourself who will be destroyed.
If you're sure you've chosen the right person, take his hand and start a new journey in life.
- END -
Author: Rainwater: Write the most healing words, tell the warmest stories, and accompany the loneliest of you. I've been here and hope you don't leave. Public number: Meet Wei'an, Weibo @ Rainwater Wei'an.
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