He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
When we meet love and pursue love, we will always subconsciously produce some selfishness.
We hope that love can be eternal, and we hope that the other party can belong to us alone.
This is the possessiveness and longing of people's nature.
What do two people start a love affair for?
It is for creation, for reproduction, for the continuation of life, but also for the fusion of two souls.
And two people who love each other, if they want to achieve the state of soul integration, they must pass through the "desire to share."
In any relationship, the desire to share occupies a very important position and is indispensable.
The desire to share can be said to be a sign of emotional happiness.
So, how does the desire to share between couples change?
-01
The desire to share is a "means" to maintain feelings
The emotional progression of boys and girls is often like this:
When they first met, both people were tentative, cautious, and a little closer to each other.
After brief encounters and some affection for each other, there was also a noticeable progress in the frequency and depth of the chats.
As the desire to share becomes stronger, chatting with each other has become a habit in your life.
Next, the feelings gradually warmed up, and only one person needed to take the initiative to confess, and they could naturally come together.
The desire to share is the way to start feelings;
The desire to share is a means of maintaining the feelings of couples.
Some people believe that:
Couples in love, must be vigorous, full of surprises and romance.
In fact, psychology believes that love is a process of ups and downs in one stage after another.
Passion rises, love thickens, and with it decreases sanity;
Passion declines, love concentration decreases, followed by increase in the tacit understanding and affection of two people.
Most people's love will return to ordinary life, learn to share in life, and learn to find truth in plainness.
And real life itself is a kind of romance.
You don't have to talk about literature, philosophy, movies and art every day; you can also talk about gossip, about rice, oil and salt, about work and troubles.
The former is the pursuit of spiritual romance, and the latter is not exactly the trivial romance of life?
Treating the small things in ordinary life as a kind of romance is the true meaning of the desire to share.
-02
The desire to share disappears, which is a crisis of feelings
Readers often leave a message:
"I have less and less to say to my lover, too lazy to communicate with each other, what should I do?"
This phenomenon is actually caused by the lack of desire to share.
Living with each other, I am more and more reluctant to share and too lazy to communicate.
The emotions in my heart, the experience of life, and the troubles of work, I would rather share them with friends and colleagues than with my lover.
What is the reason for this?
First: Share with each other, but don't get back
Associated with the desire to share is the response.
If only you are chattering and the other person is always silent, you will soon lose interest in sharing.
And every time you're going to talk to him, he shows an impatient look; next time, you may not want to share it.
You find that in the chat between you, you always say 10 sentences and the other party responds to you 2 sentences.
In this state of imbalance, you feel that you have not received corresponding feedback on your efforts.
Then you lose the desire to communicate.
Second: He doesn't understand you – the lack of empathy
You tell him a joke, and he says you're childish.
You share your bad feelings with him, express your dissatisfaction and annoyance, but he dislikes you for being pretentious.
You say that today's weather is really good, the scenery is good, the sun is gentle, and your heart is bright; but he says that he hates such weather.
You see, he doesn't understand you, he doesn't understand your aesthetics, he doesn't understand your emotions.
This is the lack of empathy ability of one party, which in turn produces "frequency dislocation" and exacerbates the disappearance of feelings.
Any relationship, losing the desire to share, means that the relationship is going downhill.
-03
The desire to share is the highest level of romance in feelings
Have you ever had this experience?
When you walk down a straight and long road with no one to talk to and no one to accompany you, you quickly lose the motivation to go on.
The same goes for mountain climbing.
Climbing a mountain alone, you will always feel lonely and powerless.
But if there is someone around you who accompanies you and chats about the sky without a word, you also feel that the strength is constantly generated.
This is the charm of the desire to share.
Good love is inseparable from the desire to share.
The desire to share can also enhance the tacit understanding of two people, the concentration of feelings, and spiritual resonance.
Share life, share food, share mood.
Only by resonating first can we adapt to the tedium of ordinary life.
Fight boredom with sharing, fight dullness with empathy, and eventually you find that being with each other will make you feel "great peace of mind".
The end of the desire to share is the high-level romance of "my heart is my hometown".
Where there is a lover, you can be at ease.
Today's Topic:
Do you think the desire to share is important in your relationship?
(Article with picture source network)