Feelings have entered a "dead end" to have these performances

The end of any relationship has its omens; never an abrupt end, all parting, has given you enough hints.

Some people will have this confusion in their relationships: "What am I in love for?" ”

"With each other, what do I want?" Am I having a good time? ”

The question that arises indicates that your determination to be with the other person has begun to waver.

There are also some couples who fight in shaky feelings, but no one wants to be the first to "break up".

Dead shoulders, confrontation, consuming each other.

In fact, there will be obvious omens when the feelings come to an end.

In this article, you will see:

When the feelings of two people come to an end, what are the manifestations?

Scarred feelings, is there room for redemption?

-01

A manifestation of the two people's feelings coming to an end

First: Frequent contradictions, but indifference

The of a thousand miles is destroyed in the ant nest, and any emotional rupture is accumulated from a little bit of contradiction.

In the process of lovers falling in love, it is inevitable that there will be all kinds of contradictions, quarrels and confrontations.

When a contradiction arises, the reaction and coping style of the two people will directly affect the next feelings.

There is a couple:

Boys have a stubborn personality, admit death, and are unwilling to accept defeat; girls are anxious, and they scold and grin when they don't agree.

Boys insist on their own, whether right or wrong, only recognize their own truth;

Girls want to change boys, thinking that boys are inconsiderate and unsympathetic.

But the girl's telling and expression is "unreasonable" in the eyes of boys.

The silence and indifference of the boys are "not loving enough and inconsiderate" in the eyes of the girls.

You see, the contradiction between the next two people will continue to be magnified.

The little things will eventually be quarrelsome.

The last contradiction was not resolved, and a new contradiction arose.

Unwilling to compromise, unwilling to be soft, all want to win over each other.

As you can imagine, this relationship is really difficult to go on.

In the end, the feelings of the two people deteriorated.

What has become of it?

You say yours, I continue to do my thing; as long as you argue, whenever you swear and grin, I just ignore you.

No one is willing to solve the problem and allows the contradiction to continue to ferment.

It's like the story of "making up for the dead".

In the beginning, the sheep were lost, but they did not want to repair the sheepfold; later, the sheep became fewer and fewer, and when the sheepfold was repaired again, the loss and damage had already formed, and the bones were broken.

Even if it is repaired, there are still shadows in the heart.

Such a couple relationship has already had problems in itself, and this love mode has also been cultivated in the heart.

Good habits are difficult to form, but bad habits are easy to form, which is human nature.

Second: the antagonism and mismatch of values

What defeats the feelings of two people is not only the discord of feelings, but also has a lot to do with the actual factors.

What are values?

Here we have to mention: the door to the door, the pursuit of each other, the expectation of the future, the vision of marriage.

Two people who don't have the right door are also difficult to be together.

For example:

Your family conditions are good, your job is stable, your income is high, and your own conditions are good.

And the other party is much worse than you.

At this time, even if you can accept it, the other party may not be able to accept it in their hearts.

Because of his self-esteem, he will be hurt over time.

You will find that the two of you have different ideas on many issues.

The concept of consumption, the concept of life, the attitude towards marriage, etc., are all different.

No amount of communication can bridge the conceptual divide.

Do you know what is most important about the feelings of adults?

It's called "value matching."

What do you mean?

To put it simply: what kind of person you are, you should be with what kind of person.

What you have, you will match.

The gap is too large for two people, it is difficult to go down.

There is a term in psychology called "cognitive dissonance."

You continue to be with each other, not because of love, but because of "stubbornness."

For example:

A girl with good conditions is with a boy with very poor conditions.

They have different consumption concepts and often quarrel over the things they spend.

Although girls do not agree with boys' concepts, they have felt that they cannot go on with boys, and the opposition of values is the biggest obstacle to feelings.

But the girl's heart is not willing to give up, her "maternal brilliance" radiates, thinking that she has the ability to change each other, thinking that she is good enough to be able to manage this relationship.

But after trying, I found that it still didn't work.

This is cognitive dissonance, cognitive bias towards one's own abilities, and excessive expectations of two people's feelings.

Couples with too low a match, the final result is only one: parting ways.

Third: Pretending to be in tune with God and deceiving oneself

This brings us back to what was stated at the beginning of the article:

Both of them realize that the relationship seems to have come to an end, but neither of them is willing to take the initiative to break up.

States of apparent detachment include:

There is no longer a desire to communicate and share.

Too lazy to communicate with each other, too lazy to talk, living together is also busy, no one is willing to take the initiative to chat with each other.

Even if you are separated for a while, you will not miss each other.

He travels on business, you live at home by yourself, and you find that you don't think of him at all.

No longer looking forward to his return, no longer expecting his love, and no longer expecting surprises in feelings.

But in front of outsiders, the two people still have to pretend to be loving and deceive themselves.

In fact, such feelings are a kind of hurt to each other, and continuing to continue is also a futile increase in sadness.

-02

Feelings are scarred, is it still necessary to keep it?

To judge whether it is worth salvage, we must clarify several problems.

First of all, can this relationship still bring you more expectations?

In other words, if you both try to manage your relationships and try to go back to the beginning, how good can the feelings be?

Can your relationship get better if you keep going?

If the answer is no, it's not worth keeping.

Secondly, is the desire to marry each other still strong?

If love is not rushing to get married, it is just an encounter for adults, and there is no substantive meaning except physical and mental pleasure.

If at this moment, you suddenly don't want to marry each other, and you don't even think about it anymore.

What you have in mind is how you would live if you were single again; how you would operate if you were in love again.

At this time, you already have the answer in your mind.

Your heart tells you: don't want to continue.

In the end, if neither of them has the ability to reconstruct feelings, being together is just hurting each other.

How simple is it to build a relationship?

Just like building a house and laying the foundation, the foundation is the most important; maybe it takes half a month to lay the foundation, but it only takes 10 days to build the house.

The same goes for feelings.

What is the basis of feelings? It's love, it's anticipation, it's freshness.

If the foundation is gone, no matter how hard you try to manage your feelings, it will be in vain to increase consumption and hurt each other.

If you don't expect your current feelings, breaking up is the best option.

Adults should be frank and rational and decisive; indecisive and half-hearted will only hurt others and hurt themselves.

Today's Topic:

Have you experienced an "emotional crisis"?

What is your current emotional state?

(Article with picture source network)