With the increasing number of families with many children, how to deal with the relationship between children has become a difficult problem facing parents.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", when Aunt Kong was educating the Sheng family girls, she once warned Sheng Shao: "In the homes of people with many children, parents need a bowl of water to be flat in order to have a quiet home." ”
If things are uneven, there must be strife. If you are eccentric, the other children must have opinions, which is understandable, after all, they are all standing on the same running line, shedding the same blood, why can he rely on the love of his parents to live so comfortably, I have a bad life?
If the parents are even and treat their children fairly, he is not working hard enough, he is not as good as his brothers and sisters, he cannot complain about others, but if the good life of the brothers and sisters is based on the eccentricity of his parents and infringes on his interests, can he not complain?
But where in the world is there absolute fairness? Who can be so precise as to give things and love to their children without any difference? If the children are overly calculating, then the parents will also be chilled.
Huang Zongxi said: "Between flesh and bones, one more point of thickness will leave one more point of family affection, and there is no need to be too clear about right and wrong." ”
Aunt Zhou is 78 years old this year, due to a serious illness some time ago, her physical function has declined rapidly, not only can no longer work, but also unable to take care of herself.
Aunt Zhou was widowed when she was young and had 3 sons, so she and her 3 sons put forward the request for AA pension, that is, the family was responsible for one year.
Logically, such a request is very reasonable, but it has aroused the dissatisfaction of Aunt Zhou's eldest daughter-in-law and second daughter-in-law.
01. Eldest daughter-in-law, second daughter-in-law: The mother-in-law is eccentric, only helps her younger sister with her baby, no matter us, why let us share the pension obligation like the little uncle?
The reason why the eldest daughter-in-law and the second daughter-in-law are dissatisfied is because they feel that Aunt Zhou is eccentric and only loves the younger son's family, which is of no help to them, so they have no obligation to honor Aunt Zhou.
"You helped your brother and sister with their babies for 15 years, but they didn't help us, why?"
It turned out that the son of Aunt Zhou's younger son, that is, Aunt Zhou's little grandson, has been living with Aunt Zhou since she was 3 years old, aunt Zhou took care of her little grandson, helped her young son and daughter-in-law with her baby, and for fifteen years, accompanied her grandson to finish primary school, junior high school, and high school, until the little grandson was admitted to college and went to study in other places, Aunt Zhou lived a solitary life for several years.
Because Aunt Zhou has been staying in her hometown, taking care of her little grandson and accompanying her to study, she has not taken care of the eldest daughter-in-law and the second daughter-in-law who live in the city, and has indeed received very little help from them, which makes the two daughters-in-law feel very dissatisfied.
"Mom, you can come and live with me for a year, after all, you have served me for the confinement, and I will leave the rest alone." You didn't help me with the baby, the child was brought by my resignation, do you know how difficult I was at that time? Ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law, you don't help me, I am not so generous, and I do not care about serving you. ”
"Sister-in-law, my mother is still waiting for you to sit in the confinement, I am good here, the confinement is my mother's service, not to mention the baby."
"The second daughter-in-law is a local, but also the only daughter, the mother of the family took the initiative to serve the confinement, what else do you need me to do?" I knew she would be angry, and I should have served her in the first place. ”
02. Aunt Zhou: It's not that I'm eccentric, but the condition of the younger son is the worst, I can't help it!
Speaking of her own eccentric things, Aunt Zhou said that she was not eccentric, but a helpless move, and it was really the worst situation of her younger son's family, and she could not ignore it.
At that time, Aunt Zhou took her three sons alone and cut down on food and clothing for them to study. The eldest son has excellent grades and hopes of being admitted to college, the second son has decent grades and can work hard, and the younger son has average grades, although he also wants to study hard, but he can't read it.
Therefore, the younger son offered to drop out of school and help his mother work together for his two older brothers to study. Although Aunt Zhou couldn't bear it in her heart, she couldn't do anything good.
In the end, the eldest son was admitted to college, went to the city, had a bright future, the second son failed in the first year, re-studied for a year, was also admitted to college, went to the big city, got the appreciation of the parents of the second daughter-in-law, and also had a good life.
However, the conditions of the youngest son are very bad, although the couple has been working hard to farm, but they can't make ends meet, they can't continue to live, and in desperation, they can only leave their hometown and go out to work.
"If I don't take care of my grandson, my daughter-in-law has to stay, how much less will it be?" They not only have to provide for their grandchildren to study, but also save money for their grandchildren to marry wives, relying on their younger sons alone, okay? ”
Aunt Zhou knew that she had no reason to ask her two sons to help her younger brother, so she could only work harder and help her younger son.
03. The younger son's family is responsible for taking care of Aunt Zhou, the eldest son and the second son give alimony every year, and the medical expenses are paid together by 3 families, and the matter is satisfactorily resolved;
Although Aunt Zhou does have unspeakable secrets, the two daughters-in-law are still not discouraged, do not recognize the requirements of AA pension, and the relationship is very stiff.
Seeing that the mother-in-law frowned, the daughter-in-law stood up and said her own thoughts: "The eldest sister-in-law and the second sister-in-law are indeed reasonable, my mother helped us bring a baby for 15 years, did not help you, it is indeed unfair, for the sake of fairness, you should not be asked to help serve your mother." My mother helped me a lot, I can't be a white-eyed wolf, so that in the future, my mother will live in my house, live with our husband and wife, be taken care of by our husband and wife, and send them to the end of the pension. ”
"However, although my mother did not help the two sisters-in-law, she fulfilled her responsibility as a mother and raised her two brothers to adulthood, which is undeniable!" If nothing else, just because the mother has the grace of supporting the two brothers, the two brothers must fulfill the responsibility of supporting the mother, so you still have to give the basic alimony. ”
Listening to the words of the younger daughter-in-law, the eldest son and the second son also nodded, and the two daughters-in-law were speechless.
In the end, the three families reached an agreement that Aunt Zhou would move to the younger son's house, which would be taken care of by the youngest son and the couple, and the two sons would give Aunt Zhou 10,000 yuan in alimony every year.
After reaching an agreement, the daughter-in-law personally accompanied her mother-in-law to her hometown, helped her mother-in-law pack her things, and let her mother-in-law go with her to live in the place where she worked. After the little grandson knew, he also told Aunt Zhou that he would also honor Aunt Zhou and send her to the end of the pension for grandma, so that grandma did not have to worry.
04. Even if parents are really biased, they still have to fulfill their obligations, after all, they have the grace of nurturing you.
Bi Shumin wrote in "Filial Piety Is Priceless": "There are some things that we cannot understand when we are young, and we are no longer young when we understand. ”
When you are young, you do not understand the hard heart of your parents, do not understand the unspeakable secrets of your parents, will resent your parents, argue with your parents, and have a bad relationship with your parents. When you become a parent and encounter the original problems of your parents, you will find that you have misunderstood your parents, but at this time, if you want to make up for it, it is often too late.
Maybe, your parents really have something bad to do, maybe, they are really biased, broken your heart, but even if the parents are really biased, the obligation to fulfill still have to be fulfilled, after all, they have the grace of nurturing you.
It is an obligation to support our parents, and as long as they have fulfilled their gift of birth and support, we should fulfill the obligation to support our parents. At the same time, we must also understand our parents as much as possible, and don't worry about ruining this family affection.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Aunt Zhou is eccentric? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.