Do you think that as grandparents, should you help with your grandchildren?
When I was 10 years old, my parents had to leave their hometowns to work and become part of the army of migrant workers in order to make a living, and since then, I have lived with my grandparents until I was admitted to college.
In these 8 years, my grandparents took good care of me, saved money, spent their small pension on me, and accompanied me all the way to study.
Now, I'm old, my grandma is dead, my grandpa is old, and my parents are very grateful to them and very filial. Although grandpa said many times that he had a pension and that the money was enough to spend, and he didn't need them to give money, every month my parents had to send money to grandpa.
My mother told me that when Grandpa was older and couldn't live without people, they would go back to their hometown to take care of Grandpa and accompany Grandpa.
Hu Shi said: "If we want to reap the good fruits of the future, we must strive to plant new causes for the present. One grain after another will be harvested in a full house. ”
Parents raise their sons to adulthood, and sons have the obligation to support their parents, which is unshirkable, but there is no blood relationship between the in-laws and the daughter-in-law, nor is there any grace of birth, and before the daughter-in-law marries your son, you are just strangers and have no intersection. If you are old and want to get the kindness of your daughter-in-law and spend your old age in peace, you must help you when you can still move and she is in the most difficult time, help as much as possible, and accumulate affection.
Between the in-laws and the daughter-in-law, between the father-in-law and the son-in-law, it is not an obligation, but a love, which is also the reason for ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law.
However, I also hope that women will remember that in order to manage the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, not only do you need your mother-in-law to treat your daughter-in-law well, but a man has the ability to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and also needs you to be a grateful and filial person.
Mother-in-law to help you, is not an obligation, but a love point, help is a love point, not to help is the duty, if she helps you, you get benefits, you should have a grateful heart, rather than getting cheap and selling well.
In the eyes of the aunt and cousin, the cousin and sister are a person who gets cheap and sells well, and her request not only arouses the dissatisfaction of the in-laws, but also the dissatisfaction of her husband, and the family conflict is about to erupt.
01. Son: Parents are not easy, hard work for most of their lives, but also for us to bring children, I really have no face to ask for money;
The reason why they quarrel is because of the matter of taking the baby.
Half a year ago, the cousin and sister gave birth to a daughter, let the aunt hold the granddaughter, let the cousin upgrade to become a father, the whole family is very happy.
Before the daughter-in-law gave birth, the aunt considered that she was not the material of the waiter, worried that the waiting daughter-in-law did not give strength to cause the contradiction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so she gave the cousin 10,000 yuan, let the cousin and sister report to the monthly center, successfully completed the confinement, recovered well, and the cousin and sister were also quite satisfied.
However, confinement only needs one month, you can go to the confinement center, what to do with the baby? My cousin's maternity leave is over and she needs to go back to work.
Therefore, the cousin and sister proposed to the aunt that they hoped that the mother-in-law would help bring down the child, and the aunt also agreed, which was originally a happy thing for everyone, but they quarreled over the money. The cousin proposed that not only the child's living expenses should be paid by the young couple, but also a hard fee for the parents to bring the baby, but the cousin and sister were not happy.
"The in-laws earn 12,000 yuan a month, and they want money with their granddaughters, which is really cut."
Hearing his wife's complaints, the cousin got angry and shook back: "Who gave birth to who raised, this is our daughter, is our flesh and bones, in the future to honor us, we do not raise, let my parents raise, like words?" ”
Moreover, the cousin knew very well that in order to raise himself, his parents had worked hard for more than twenty years, leaving early and returning late to make money desperately, providing him with education, marrying him a daughter-in-law, and had fulfilled the responsibility of being a parent. Now, his parents are thinking about him again, giving up a leisurely old age and bringing him a baby, which is already very loving.
"Let parents take their own money to raise children for me, isn't that just nibbling on the old age?" No, I don't have that face. ”
02. Daughter-in-law: We have an income of 14,000, a mortgage of 6,000, a living expense of 1,800, and they also hope that we will have a second child;
However, the cousin and sister said that they also had something difficult to say, believing that neither the in-laws nor the husband considered this small family. Then she made an account for everyone.
"Gao Dong's monthly salary is 8,000, I am currently 6,000, and we add up to 10,0004, which is not a high income, but among the peers, it is not low!" You also know how difficult it is to raise wages, and overtime is compulsory. ”
How is this money spent? First of all, when they got married, the cousin and sister refused to live with the in-laws and insisted on buying a house in the urban area, and the aunt and uncle took out 400,000 yuan and paid them a down payment, about 6,000 mortgages per month, which was repaid by the two children, which was equal to the cousin's salary.
"The cost of living is 1800, the cost of water and electricity is 250, the cost of network and mobile phone calls is nearly 300, and the cost of transportation and commuting is nearly 300 for the two of us, which is 2650, and then, we also need socializing, and we need human contact." Also, I have to give my parents 700 a month. Although there are savings, but there are not many, in case something happens, such as who is laid off, who is sick, and does not spend at all. ”
Moreover, the cousins also mentioned one thing, that is, about the aunt and uncle wanting to hold their grandchildren and hope that they would have a second child.
"I need money to have a baby, once I am pregnant with a second child, I can't work, and if our company doesn't let me take maternity leave, but fires me, if I don't have any money, what should I do?" 」
03. Old man: Raising a son, we have fulfilled our obligations, we have agreed to contribute to bring our granddaughters, it is time to be satisfied;
Listening to the complaints of the cousin and sister, the faces of the eldest aunt and the eldest uncle are still not good-looking, and they cannot accept the requirement of taking their granddaughter to pay and contribute.
"We now earn $12,000, I work in a factory with a monthly salary of $3,000, and if I take my granddaughter, I have to quit my job, leaving me with less than $3,000 in pension."
"Vivi, when your husband was young, he was also brought up by his grandparents, but my in-laws didn't pay a penny." At that time, no matter how difficult and bitter we were, we would try our best to pay back on time, make living expenses for our sons, and buy some things to honor our in-laws. My parents brought their granddaughters, and my brothers and sisters also gave money. Why? Because, ah, raising children is the duty of parents, not grandparents. ”
Compared with the eldest aunt, the eldest uncle was not so polite, and directly reprimanded the daughter-in-law: "Raising the eldest son, we have fulfilled our obligations, and the matter of taking the baby has nothing to do with us." Now, they have agreed to contribute to bringing their granddaughters, and it is time to be satisfied. Young people don't want to make good money, but they want to nibble on the old, like words? ”
As he spoke, the eldest uncle left, unwilling to continue talking to his daughter-in-law. The aunt and cousin were also disappointed in the cousins.
Although the aunt eventually took her granddaughter to her home and gave the money, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dropped to a freezing point.
04. In-laws treat you kindly, not obligations, but affection, to know how to be grateful, cherish this good.
The writer Zweig said: All the gifts of fate are secretly marked with prices. You have to exchange it in another way, or pay it back.
Whether it is a man or a woman, whether it is an in-laws or a daughter-in-law, if you want the other party to treat yourself well, you must know how to be grateful, and you must pay something in return, rather than making a blank check and saying that it is the coming day.
People are realistic, if you don't take practical action, who will believe in the coming day? In-laws treat you kindly, not obligations, but affection, to know how to be grateful, cherish this good.
If you don't know how to be grateful and take too much, even the best in-laws and husbands will be annoyed by you, and it will be difficult for the marriage to go on healthily and sustainably.
END.
Today's topic: Who do you think is unreasonable? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.