There is a saying on the Internet: a good mother-in-law relationship is not necessarily helpful for the maintenance of marriage; a bad mother-in-law relationship is definitely the last straw that overwhelms marriage.
If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a chicken flying dog jumping, then the relationship between husband and wife is definitely not much better. Whether it is the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law, who has been wronged, they all pin their hopes on the man's body, hoping that the man will uphold justice for himself, so the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is bad, and the man may become the biggest loser.
In the bad mother-in-law relationship, some cannot be solved, only because there is an evil mother-in-law or an evil daughter-in-law, for example, no matter who meets Hu Lijuan's mother-in-law in "Double Sided Glue" or Mrs. Yuan who tries her best to bully Sheng Hualan in "Know It or Not", she cannot get along with such a mother-in-law. In such a family, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law can not live together at all, and only by maintaining a certain distance can the adverse impact on the marriage be minimized as much as possible.
And some mother-in-law contradictions are not difficult to resolve. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not inherently bad, just because they can't understand each other.
Zhou Guoping said: "It is instinctive to be picky about people close to you, but overcoming instinct and not being picky about people close to you is a kind of upbringing. ”
However, whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, they like to criticize each other, only consider from their own point of view, how to look at each other is not pleasing to the eye, and then, contradictions naturally appear.
"Angry at me, kindly treated as a donkey liver lung, I'm gone, OK, take care of the children's things you solve by yourself." 」
Half a month ago, Aunt Yang received a call for help from her son, hoping that she would help take care of her grandchildren, Aunt Yang loved the two little babies very much, and had nothing to do, so she agreed.
However, Aunt Yang helped to watch her grandson for 10 days, quarreled with her daughter-in-law 3 times, and also caused the couple to quarrel, and returned the daughter-in-law to her mother's house. Seeing her son's frowning look, Aunt Yang felt uncomfortable, but felt that she was right, thinking that her daughter-in-law could not tolerate herself, so she decided to go back to her hometown and never care about them anymore.
01. My granddaughter was brought up by me, but my daughter-in-law did not want to see me, so I had to go back to my hometown;
When it comes to the matter of taking the baby, Aunt Yang thinks of the unpleasant things 7 years ago and is even more angry.
7 years ago, Aunt Yang's granddaughter was born, and when the daughter-in-law was eight months pregnant, Aunt Yang slaughtered 5 old hens and brought them to the city to take care of the daughter-in-law, wait for the daughter-in-law to confinement, and stay to help take care of the granddaughter.
Aunt Yang stayed at her daughter-in-law's house for two years, and then returned to her hometown, only because the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was sharp, so that Aunt Yang really couldn't stay.
"She was in a normal birth, less than three days after giving birth, and she was clamoring to wash her hair and take a bath, or in December. I was afraid that she was cold, and I fell ill, so I didn't let her wash her hair and take a bath, let her endure it, and then say it again, but she didn't dry, and when I wasn't there, I ran to wash her hair and take a bath, which made me angry. ”
"I confess that the soup I boiled is not good, but this is my careful boiling, the milking effect is very good, for the sake of the child, can't bear it?"
"I like to eat melon seeds, everywhere, and that time, the two-year-old granddaughter caught it, stuffed it in her mouth, choked the daughter-in-law enough, let the child spit it out, and then kept counting me there, counting me down for several days, I really couldn't stand it, and left." 」
When the grandson was born, Aunt Yang originally planned to serve her daughter-in-law to confinement and take care of her grandson, but the daughter-in-law was not happy and called her mother to not let Aunt Yang come over.
Aunt Yang was very angry, let her wife go on a trip, sent a few old hens and vegetables and fruits at home, and gave 10,000 red envelopes as a heart.
02. Due to the impact of the epidemic, grandchildren cannot go to school normally, and they are in trouble at home, so they have to ask me to help look at it;
Today, the granddaughter is 7 years old, and the grandson is 3 years old, but the son and daughter-in-law have encountered problems again and need Aunt Yang's help with the baby.
"Mom, you don't know, we are always making trouble here, once the epidemic is over, the children will not be able to attend class, and your grandson's morning nursery will not be able to do it."
As a result, the two children can only stay at home, while the son and daughter-in-law need to go to work and cannot take care of the two children. When the parents are not at home, the bear child will naturally be a demon, and even if the family is demolished, it will almost break out of the disaster.
"Doesn't my daughter-in-law like to shop online?" The family saved a lot of cartons, was placed on the balcony there, ready to accumulate some to sell, I don't know which child did a good job, played with the fire, lit the cartons, my son's family is living on the 22nd floor, this is fatal! Fortunately, the property was patrolling outside, and the first time it found an abnormality, called, rushed upstairs, and the two children were fine. ”
Listening to her son's accusations, Aunt Yang could not sit still, nor did she dare to let her grandchildren stay at home alone, plus the daughter-in-law also apologized, full of sincerity, Aunt Yang immediately rushed over to take care of her grandchildren.
The arrival of Aunt Yang made her son and daughter-in-law feel much more at ease when they went to work, but she and her daughter-in-law were really incompatible with each other, and soon quarreled again.
"Mom, I said why jingjing hasn't eaten well lately?" It turned out to be a good thing you did. How do you buy fried chicken burgers for Jingjing every day? This is junk food, no nutrition, eat these without eating dinner, how to grow tall quietly? ”
"Mom, Xiaoyu is 3 years old, you can eat by yourself, it took a lot of effort to teach Xiaoyu a good habit of eating, you are good, two days after coming, Xiaoyu will be chased to feed." If you continue like this, you will spoil him, and the teacher may not be willing to accept him in the future. ”
"Mom, we both have a hard day off and want to get some sleep, can you be quiet when you do housework?"
03. After listening to my friend's words, I found that I did have something wrong with me;
Hearing her daughter-in-law complaining about herself, Aunt Yang was angry, did not feel that she was wrong, and naturally quarreled back. Not only that, after the quarrel, she and her daughter-in-law will go to her son to complain, so the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law escalates to a husband and wife contradiction.
After listening to Aunt Yang's complaint, her friend Aunt Li gave her her own advice.
"When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, they must know how to think differently and understand each other's difficulties and feelings." Let's say grandchildren, mother discipline children, righteousness, your grandchildren are indeed naughty enough, almost caused a fire, and then not good discipline, after a big disaster, you are too late to remedy, don't you hate yourself? ”
"As a grandparent, it is normal to have a generation of relatives to the children, reluctant to scold, then you should not be an accomplice, do not add to the blockage of the daughter-in-law, let the daughter-in-law clean them up." 」
"Also, your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel, don't always go to your son to complain." You said that on the one hand, you have to give birth to your own mother, you want to be filial piety, and on the other hand, you want to accompany your wife who will grow old and give birth to children, what do you let your son do? Help you? The daughter-in-law ran away, your son died alone, you are satisfied? ”
"Living in your son's house, you must know how to control your mouth, and if you say more, you will lose."
Listening to Aunt Li's words, Aunt Yang also felt that her behavior was somewhat inappropriate, and indeed she should not be accustomed to children, so Aunt Yang called her daughter-in-law to apologize and hoped to get along with her daughter-in-law. After the daughter-in-law listened, she invited her mother-in-law back again and gave each other a chance.
04. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, we must know how to think differently, and we must have a grateful heart.
I once read a sentence in a book: "Marriage is the union of two families, and some contradictions do not arise just because they live together, and there must be no contradictions without living together." The most important point between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to correct their role positioning. ”
The mother-in-law is a man's mother, not the daughter-in-law's mother, when the mother hurts her own flesh and blood, it is a normal thing, but let her treat other people's daughters, that is, her own daughter-in-law equally, according to the standards of sons to daughters-in-law, most mothers-in-law are difficult to do.
In the same way, a daughter-in-law is someone else's daughter, but not a mother-in-law's daughter. Mothers can call themselves to work, they can scold themselves, and they can call themselves to take care of themselves when they are sick, just because it is their mother, and they are the mothers who have raised themselves. However, the mother-in-law has no grace for herself, and if she has no more kindness, it is not much better than a stranger, so why let herself serve?
Therefore, when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, they must know how to think differently and have a grateful heart. The mother-in-law must understand that you have no grace for your daughter-in-law, and if you want your daughter-in-law to respect you, honor you, and treat you kindly, you must first require yourself to be a qualified elder, an old man worthy of the respect of your children and grandchildren, and establish a relationship with her.
The daughter-in-law must also understand that after all, it is your husband's mother and deserves your respect. You are not obligated to honor her, and she is not obligated to help you.
If she treats you well, whether it is for her son or for her grandson, since you have received this goodness, you should be grateful and you should honor her well.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Aunt Yang is wrong? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.