01
It is said that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are difficult to get along with, but some people can really get along very well, and some people will make themselves invincible even if they are not good.
There are often people around us who complain that their mother-in-law always points fingers at themselves, but they don't know how to change, if they tear their faces back, how can they get along in the future?
There are also people who complain that the mother-in-law is good to the sister-in-law and gives everything to the sister-in-law, but when she is sick, she comes to find herself, which is very distressed, but she cannot ignore the mother-in-law.
In fact, there are also some skills for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along, but many people cannot interpret and use them well, often trapping themselves in disputes and unable to extricate themselves.
Adam met an unreasonable mother-in-law, let's see how she got herself out of trouble.
02
Before the mother-in-law did not come, Adam's little life was still very comfortable, nine to five, there were only two people in the family, she and her husband, there was nothing to clean up, usually when eating out, the pots and pans at home were not used several times.
But this life has changed completely after the arrival of the mother-in-law and the little uncle's family.
The mother-in-law's house was demolished, divided into three suites and more than 200,000 cash, and the mother-in-law gave the largest house to the little uncle, and the smallest set to Adam's husband, the reason is that Adam's husband already has a house.
However, at that time, this house was bought by Adam and her husband together, but she did not ask her mother-in-law for a penny, and now it is a little unhappy to calculate that Adam has more pieces and less pieces.
Originally, Adam did not want his mother-in-law to come to live at home, but the husband had already agreed, and Adam was not embarrassed to refuse again, thinking that the mother-in-law was overdone, renting a suitable house and moving away.
On the first day of coming to Adam's house, the mother-in-law said that it was too expensive to rent a house now, and she wanted to rent a place close to the child's kindergarten to get two or three thousand, and it was not good to have this money.
Yes, it is good to do something, but I am not willing to pay a part of the living expenses for Adam, and even to buy a dish, Adam has to come back from work to buy it.
Do you think that when your mother-in-law comes, she will cook a meal and wait for Adam and her husband to come back to eat? No, they'd rather be hungry than wait for Adam to come back at night to do it.
Regarding the matter of cooking, Adam really has to reflect on himself, when the mother-in-law first came, Adam was also in order to fulfill the friendship of the landlord, he cooked a table of dishes with his parents, who thought about it and spoiled the mother-in-law's problem.
Every time he mentioned it to his husband, he said that his mother-in-law was not in good health, and if he didn't do it, he wouldn't do it, but when the mother-in-law stayed up late to chase the drama, Adam didn't think she was in good health.
Okay, the mother-in-law does not always do a sister-in-law, right? However, no, in addition to picking up and dropping off the children every day, the sister-in-law is playing with mobile phones, nor does she work, nor does she work, and even the clothes that the little uncle changes are too lazy to wash.
In the first few days, the child was still with the child after school, and since Adam accompanied the child once, even the child was lost to Adam.
Adam was also to blame for this, but she really just hoped that the child would not shout at first, after all, she had to apologize for the neighbors.
In a word of a wave of operations down Adan took care of all the work in the family, to work, but also to wash and cook to coax children, the key is to spend money like running water, children want to eat a cheese stick, just look at you with their eyes, don't you buy it? After all, adults can't blame children for their fault.
Even his colleagues at the company felt that Adam was getting haggard. But Adam also has no way to directly showdown? It seems that the pattern is small. But without a showdown, you can only go on like this, waiting for a big family, when is a head. The husband is also not powerful, and will only say that the wife is hard.
Thinking about it, I let Adam come up with a solution, the spearhead to solve this matter can not be aimed at the mother-in-law, but should be aimed at the husband, just the so-called reluctance to let the child not set the wolf, as long as the shot must directly attack the weakness of the other party.
After work that day, Adam did not go home directly, but went to the mall with friends, bought and bought, bought the clothes he usually liked and was reluctant to buy, checked out to see two thousand three, ended today, and fought again tomorrow.
When she came home, the family waited for her to cook. What to cook, sister has money, directly order takeaway.
After dinner, her husband pulled Adam closer to the bedroom, pointed to his payment text message, and asked her what she had spent so much money on, and Adam shook the clothes in his hand and smiled proudly.
"Three pieces of clothing more than two thousand, you are crazy, don't you usually wear Taobao clothes for a hundred yuan?" What's your situation? The husband looked at Adam in disbelief.
"Hey, recently take care of a big family pressure is not in a good mood, buy something to make my mood better, husband, you support me, right?" Adam's husband gritted his teeth and finally didn't say anything.
After that, Adam went to buy a few clothes every day, spending nearly ten thousand yuan less than a Saturday, and Adam's husband couldn't sit still: "What do you really want?" "
"I don't want to think about it, I see them in a bad mood, I want to buy, buy, buy, unless they go." Adam pointed to his mother-in-law and uncle's family watching TV in the living room.
"They don't live here, where are they going?" "If they want to live here, you'll have to make me pay for it, or we'll get a divorce and I'll leave?"
In the end, the husband still couldn't help Adam, and found a house for his mother-in-law nearby, and the mother-in-law moved out of Adam's house with his brother-in-law's family, and Adam's world was finally clean.
03
Sometimes we are caught in family conflicts and can't extricate ourselves, at this time we should find a breakthrough point in order to withdraw ourselves.
First: in the face of family conflicts, smart women will use a little means.
Family conflicts are not only the contradictions between wives and husbands, but also the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even three-way contradictions, many people like to be tough in contradictions, and finally make themselves scarred and did not achieve their goals.
When dealing with family conflicts, women should appropriately use a little means to effectively resolve conflicts while protecting themselves.
As in the above, Adam did not get angry when he was exploited by his mother-in-law's family, nor did he say who was not, but in the end he also achieved the purpose of letting his mother-in-law leave his home.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mostly that one party is dissatisfied with the other party, and the general reason for dissatisfaction is because of unfairness. First of all, we must lower our own requirements, don't care so much about what your mother-in-law does, first keep yourself calm, don't get angry, as the saying goes, as long as you are angry, you will lose.
The second is to use the husband as a tool person, you must know that regulating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the husband's responsibility, do not feel that this is your fight alone.
In fact, the husband is the bond of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as long as the husband can stand on his side, he can stand in an invincible position, most of the time the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not easy to regulate, it is the husband's bond that is not in place.
So the key point is still how to make the husband can turn towards himself. If it doesn't make sense, let's take some small means, after all, the husband is easier to deal with than the mother-in-law, right?
Second: in family relationships, women must have a sense of territory.
In today's society, although fewer and fewer daughters-in-law live in their mother-in-law's homes, more and more mothers-in-law come to live in their daughters-in-law's homes.
The generation of my parents, who used to serve their mother-in-law, originally thought that it was time for themselves to be nurtured, and there was someone who came to make themselves call, but they did not expect that the times had changed, and they had to serve their grandchildren.
It may be that the persistence in the bones is deeply rooted, even if it comes to the son and daughter-in-law's family, he still likes to be the master of the family.
Therefore, many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions are also generated to argue about who is the master of this family.
Many daughters-in-law or because of the traditional virtues of respecting the old and loving the young, or because of their weak character, it is easy to be anti-guest by the mother-in-law and occupy the position of the hostess of the family, but their own home can not let others be the masters of the family, so it is another mother-in-law war.
Therefore, women must have their own sense of territory, and they must insist on themselves in the early stage of their mother-in-law's intervention, and they cannot let their mother-in-law take advantage of it.
Of course, not every argument needs to be noisy, we can politely refuse, gentle persistence, quietly let ourselves sit in the position of the hostess.
In fact, the dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also a game, as long as the first few times can be in the advantage, then the mother-in-law can not turn over any big waves, and vice versa.
Text/No Pen