Cao Xueqin wrote in "Dream of the Red Chamber Introduction": Opening up Hongmeng, who is the seed of love? All for the wind and moon.
Young and pure love, once people have some age, the emotional matter is no longer so simple. More or less, mix some other stuff.
Who has not felt that love should be pure when he is young, who has not blushed his cheeks and cried red eyes when he was young.
But once you reach the age when you should talk about marriage, the two words of marriage can be supported not only by relying on love.
Marriages that are united because of love are what everyone desires. But often walking, even many white-headed and old marriages, there is no longer love.
Now men and women of the right age, the age of marriage is constantly postponed backwards, and there are many people who are even afraid of marriage and refuse marriage.
I once saw a movie called "Getting Married In a Few Days", which is based on a true story. The protagonist of the movie is a man and a woman who have been in love for five years, the heroine can want to get married, and the boyfriend Ajia repeatedly escapes.
In the face of suspicious marriage urging, Ajia even tried all kinds of ways, not only to join forces with her friends to cheat on her girlfriend, but even to use drugs to prevent her girlfriend from getting pregnant.
Later, Ke Yi ran to her grandmother's house and broke off contact with her boyfriend. Ajia gradually felt that she could not lack Keyi around her, and chose to propose.
There are people who choose to enter marriage because of their feelings, but at the same time, more men choose to go to the city for the following four reasons.
When the age comes, go with the flow
There is a kind of man who chooses to enter marriage, which stems from reaching a certain age, the people around him urge, it really can't be delayed any longer, so he has to compromise.
People are all conformist and just go with the flow. Most of these people do things at any age, step by step, and they have no plans and ideas themselves.
They usually have no clear vision for the other half, and it is better to talk about a relationship when they meet, and they can solve their own life events in the way of blind dates.
Traditional ideas, passed down from generation to generation
Although the times have developed and society is becoming more and more enlightened, many men still have machismo ideas, and it is naturally their duty to pass on the generations.
Some men themselves do not want to enter into marriage, but they have no choice but to continue the incense, to marry their children, and to prove that they are "normal".
Entering into marriage with this type of man, most of them will get two kinds of treatment: one is that the other party's machismo is big, you don't have too much opinion, just live a small life; the other is that the other party thinks that he has completed the task, and he ignores the marriage and family.
It is difficult to support alone, and the pressure is passed on
There is a kind of man who has limited ability on his own, is difficult to support in the face of the pressure of family and life, and wants to find someone to share the burden of life with himself.
Of course, this is understandable, because life is really hard, and it is also possible to hug the group for warmth. Afraid that men just want to take a wife to take care of themselves and take care of their parents, and when it is their turn to give, they shrink back.
In addition to love, couples can also be cooperative partners. A good marriage should be that everyone pays their own advantages in the marriage, do what they are good at, and make both people become better selves.
Looking for cooperation and career support
The good wind, with its strength, sent me to the clouds. There is a type of man who is ambitious and ambitious, but his own ability is limited, and his original family cannot help, so he thinks of using the shortcut of marriage to achieve his ambitions.
There is also a type of man who does nothing, wants to lie down and win, and is willing to pay anything in order to be able to fight for a few years less. This kind of man wants to use marriage as a springboard, and when he encounters a woman with an advantage, he wants to firmly grasp it and enter the marriage as soon as possible.
There are many reasons for men to choose marriage, and there are many reasons to choose not to marry, some realistic and some heartfelt. But the more so, the less women should shy away from it.
Some people say that starting a family and starting a business, some people say that if you want to be outside, you must first be inside.
But why do men always want to avoid marriage? In fact, it can also be said that it is the reason why men are afraid of marriage.
I think there are two points. One is that I don't want to take on more pressure; the other is that I am worried about married life.
First of all, from the first point, if it is not born with a golden spoon, then the beginning of birth indicates that we will have to suffer and struggle in the future.
Since ancient times, men have been more rational than women, and they will be more realistic about marriage. They will hope that their other half is gentle and virtuous, filial to their parents, knows how to be calculating, and is suitable for running a family.
It will also measure whether the woman's original family is burdened, consider whether she has a wife and children who need to be taken care of after marriage, and whether her burden and pressure are heavier.
Therefore, if he can't meet a woman who makes him willing to bear the pressure and pay for himself, if he can't meet a woman who can help him reduce his burden, this marriage is better than not getting married.
Second, the points involved are broader. The problems arising from the marriage of the parents of the original family, the psychological shadow caused; the crisis of trust between husband and wife, whether their lover can be in the same heart with themselves; the self-protection of respect for freedom and freedom, and so on.
There are too many problems and entanglements that may be involved in marriage, chai rice oil and salt, chicken flying dog jumping. Eventually, the men walked into the house and took a puff of smoke to cheer themselves up.
But marriage is a responsibility, and there is nothing wrong with this. If you want to enjoy the benefits of marriage and do not want to bear the disadvantages of marriage, then this marriage, I advise you not to get married.
Of course, if you can only feel pain in your marriage, it is never the problem of the marriage itself, the problem is most likely to be with you or the person you choose.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]