Text/Ye Feifei yff
Figure/Originated from the network
I am Ye Feifei yff, a non-famous emotional teacher, writing emotional texts that take the heart, hoping to use warm words to bring you some spiritual comfort.
"The Leftovers Are King" said: "Love has always been a principle that I have insisted on for so long, why should I compromise?" ”
This may be the thought of many older unmarried women, who are also eager to get married, but it is too difficult to find true love, and the average man really can't meet their requirements.
Although many older single women have good conditions, long-term singleness has also had a great impact on their physical and mental health, and they have to face the urging of marriage at home and the strange eyes of those around them.
Therefore, many women can't stand it, driven by various pressures, and are eventually forced to agree to marriage.
However, the reason why they got married was not that they had found the right person, but that they were about to get married.
Even if they know that their marriage may not have true love, they also compromise, in order to no longer bear the pressure of marriage, no longer suffer from the blank eyes of others, they have to be wronged into marriage.
Such women, often at a certain moment, give people the feeling that they are in a hurry to get married, as long as the man is willing to marry, they will marry.
In the end, a woman is in a hurry to get married, in fact, the reason is very simple, nothing more than the following three:
First, the pressure of marriage to make them compromise
Once women are not married after the age of 30, they are urged to marry by the family, and this pressure is often unbearable for them.
In life, many girls can't escape the fate of being urged to marry by the family, and even some girls are only in their 20s, and their parents have begun to help them find a marriage partner.
Therefore, most women are very helpless in the face of marriage urging at home, and they dare not reject their parents, even if they do not want to, they will follow their parents' advice to go on a blind date.
Most importantly, women are constantly urged to marry by the family, which inevitably shakes themselves, they originally did not want to get married so early, but after listening more, they gradually compromised.
In reality, people often say to their daughters that whoever marries a good man can walk.
What's even more outrageous is that parents will always count down their daughters: "Look, girls of the same age as you are going to have a second child, and if you are not married, I am afraid that no one will want it." ”
Words like this kind of marriage urge bring huge ideological baggage to single women, and may eventually make them compromise and then rush to get married.
Therefore, after many women are urged to marry, they will have doubts, is it right for them to stick to it?
Especially when they see that their girlfriends and friends of the same age are married, this pressure will further constrain them, so they gradually begin to compromise, and finally choose to marry.
In the past, they would insist on finding a suitable man and have love for each other, but then they never met, and after experiencing the baptism of marriage, they compromised.
They are becoming more and more eager to get married, so that they can have common topics with their girlfriends and friends and not seem so lonely.
More importantly, they no longer have to bear the pressure of marriage, and it is also an account for their parents.
So, when they are on a blind date, even if they feel that the man is not meeting their requirements, they don't mind, as long as the man can still settle, she agrees to get married.
Second, stimulated by the ex, do not marry and lose
In life, some girls break up with their exs, and at first they still hold that they must find a better man to marry.
However, when one day, she suddenly found that her ex was about to get married, which was a deep blow to her.
In her opinion, she is not yet married, how can he get married, isn't it even more obvious that she is not good?
So, in order not to let herself lose, she has to quickly find a man to marry, and must hold a wedding in front of her ex.
The reason for this is nothing more than that the woman is stimulated, she needs to fight for breath, can lose to anyone, just can't lose to the ex.
Otherwise, others will feel even more that she is not good enough, which is the result she does not want.
Under this psychological effect, the best way for a woman is to get married in order to prove herself: "You don't cherish me, it's your loss, and there are a lot of men who want to marry me." ”
Many single women use this way, just to show the ex, must hit him willingly.
At this time, women naturally do not have too many requirements for the marriage partner, the only requirement is to get married quickly, and they do not want to wait for a moment.
As long as men are willing to marry, they can marry at any time, which is another reason why they are in a hurry to get married.
However, if a woman marries with this mentality, it may affect future marriages.
Because there is no sincerity, the emotional foundation is not solid, which is bound to involve the relationship after marriage.
This kind of marriage may face many problems in the future, so that the marriage is also affected and becomes less happy.
It's just that after a woman is really married, there is not much point in regretting it again.
The final result is that women gradually let go of the past, and begin to live, coupled with the heavy responsibility on their bodies, they will be relieved and feel at ease with men.
Third, because of their own reasons, take the initiative to lower the requirements for marriage
This is the case with neighbor Xiaoya, who graduated from graduate school, looks very pretty, has a decent job, and earns a monthly salary of twenty or thirty thousand.
At the beginning, she has been looking for a high-quality man, requiring the other party to earn more than 50,000 a month, have a house and a car, and respect women.
However, until the age of 30, she did not find a suitable man, so she became an older leftover woman in people's eyes.
Now 37 years old, she has gradually figured out that insisting on the previous mate selection standards may delay herself, plus her parents at home are also older, and if they do not get married, they will not have a face to face.
For this reason, she took the initiative to lower her requirements, and now only requires men to be self-motivated and can hurt her.
Every time she goes home, she will actively participate in blind dates, in order to find a partner to marry as soon as possible, so as to fulfill her parents' wishes.
So, for single women over 30 years old, they are in a hurry to get married, probably not because they have found the right man, but because of their own reasons and family reasons.
Such a woman, who takes the initiative to lower the conditions and shows great sincerity, is often able to enter the marriage smoothly.
In their opinion, they really don't want to pick, only men can see it, they are willing to get married. And, even if men's financial conditions are not good enough, they will not mind.
Only at this time will women focus on the character of men in mate selection, as long as men are willing to be motivated and people are still good, they agree to engage.
This kind of woman may have already thought it through, and once they decide to take the initiative to lower their requirements, they will really talk about marriage matters according to their own wishes.
After all, they are getting older every year, and there really isn't much capital to spend anymore, which is why they are in a hurry to get married.
Ye Feifei yff emotional message:
To sum up, the reason why unmarried women over 30 years old are really anxious to get married may be these three.
The pressure of marriage makes them compromise; they are stimulated by their ex, and they lose if they don't get married; because of their own reasons, they take the initiative to lower their requirements for marriage.
Of course, such women are not bad, and when they are really married, they will gradually let go of their worries and keep the marriage at ease.
It should be reminded that marriage is a major life event after all, and it is better for both men and women to be as cautious as possible.
At the same time, men and women must also understand a truth, when each other really step into marriage, each of them will bear the responsibility, but also know how to rely on each other.
Perhaps at first the two sides feel that they do not match, but after integration into marriage, under the washing of life, one day will achieve true integration.
As Wang Guozhen said: "Love that is not well matched on the surface is often harmonious, because there are often more profound internal reasons for the production of such love; the love that is generally matched on the surface is often not harmonious, because the reason for such love is only because of the general match." ”
END
Author: Ye Feifei yff, focus on the field of emotion creation and sharing, with emotions to communicate with you and my heart, but I hope you and I know each other here, like please pay attention to me.