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Requests of the opposite sex
How do you reject those from
A malicious request from the opposite sex?
A major characteristic of short-term men is that they are anxious;
For example, as soon as I added WeChat, I began to hurry to call "baby~";
As soon as I saw the above, I was in a hurry to open the house
"Baby don't come home at night, brother gives you a sense of security."
But when he was "in a hurry", there were only two results:
Silence or distant.
Therefore, when we encounter a request from the opposite sex that does not meet the long-term development steps, we must refuse it! So you cute little fairies, tell us what routines you have encountered? And how did you refuse these malicious requests? Directly K· O, or four or two pounds to let him retreat?
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*Title source: Question 3 of this issue of Micro-Q&A
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Question 1
Keyword: breakup
Hello baby sister, I have been following you for a long time. Greet you in advance and wish you happiness and all the best for your family.
My situation:
95 years tall 165 weight 45 junior college. Small factory administrative front desk, 60,000 per year. The home has four suites on the new first line. Alone. He was my first object.
His case:
94 years tall 180, 211 master big factory programmer. 300,000 per year. Alone. The hometown is the new first-line family next door. Bought a car at the beginning of this year and temporarily did not have a house. There was an emotional experience, and the girl chased him.
The two of us were introduced to the paid blind date platform Matchmaker. I drive half an hour to his house and see each other once or twice a week. He bears the cost of dating and eating, and he will give me gifts during the holidays. I myself am more introverted, unflattering and therefore more reticent.
There was a little friction hanging out with him on Christmas Day. He put forward X needs, but after talking to him for half a year, he did not have any behavior to promote the relationship, but this kind of thing was mentioned very positively, and he broke up unhappily. After the Cold War, I thought that the long pain was better than the short pain and simply broke up.
Two days before New Year's Eve, he came to me and said something. I was angry and just told him on the phone. He said that he didn't feel that I liked him, was very cold and did not cherish this relationship, and was very tired of communicating with me. I said I didn't want to defend myself, and I can't help it if you think so. He hung up the phone angrily. I was sad and cried for days.
Sister Doll, is it the right choice for me to break up with him? Shall I try to save my feelings? What other kind of conditions are there for boys and me to match?
answer
You sent five photos, two selfies, two with your boyfriend, and one with a female friend. In the five photos, except for the photo with a female friend, your expression is slightly smiling, showing a little girl's demeanor, and the other four are all with a cold face and feel very unhappy.
Maybe this boy is really not suitable for you, so your whole state from the inside out is depressed, sad and unhappy.
Since you have broken up, hurry up and don't save it, you take the initiative to seek peace, it will only pull down your MV, and if the other party puts forward X demand at this time, then what should you do, can you accept it?
What you have to do now is to learn from the relationship, summarize and reflect, and then change and improve to prepare for the next relationship.
The first thing to change is the way you speak.
"He said that he didn't feel that I liked him, was very cold and did not cherish the relationship, and was very tired of communicating with me. I said I didn't want to defend myself, and I can't help it if you think so."
This conversation between the two of you is particularly typical, but the characters are reversed. What your ex-boyfriend said, girls generally like to say, and your answer is particularly similar to the response given by ordinary boys.
Especially the sentence "If you want to think so, I can't help it", it should be selected as the top 3 of the classic quotes list of boys' quarrels. There are often girls posting similar chat records on the Internet, and netizens will scold the boy who said this sentence as a bloody dog.
Why is this sentence so annoying? Because its subtext is - I put it down, you love it. Boys will be sprayed when they say this, is it reasonable to change you as a girl, surely not, right, no wonder your ex-boyfriend "hung up the phone very angrily".
Secondly, adjusting your whole person's state from the inside out is also something you urgently need to do at the moment.
Logically speaking, with your age and various conditions, you should not be as swollen as you are now, with swollen eyes, loose flesh, and then look bitter. You can consider taking a look at a Chinese medicine practitioner to check if there is any internal problem in the body, if you can take good care of it, it should be of great help to your facial state and mood improvement.
In addition, your photo with a female friend is the best of so many photos of you, may be with a good friend, you will be more relaxed, in this case, you can play more with friends, try to make yourself lively, don't be too silent.
As for the "what kind of conditions are the boys and I matched", remember a purpose, a boy who sincerely pursues you and catches up with you, that is to match you.
Question 2
Keywords: Advancing marriage
Hello baby sister, I have been following you for more than a year, this year I have read the stories of various sisters, and I have provided a lot of help in how to fall in love, and now I have encountered some problems emotionally, I want to ask Sister Doll, how do I deal with it
My boyfriend and I met through online platforms, and we have been together since we knew each other for a month, and we are currently almost 5 months old
I am 155,48kg tall, 91 years, do operations, and earn a little more than 15W a year
He is 181,70kg, has an annual income of 20-50W (unstable), is 5 years younger than me, has a good appearance and figure, and is also self-motivated and responsible
My dress is the type he likes, he takes the initiative to chase me He is very homely, in addition to work basically do not go out, I used to like to go out to play, after being with him, basically do not go out, currently he moved to live with me, he is not very clingy, not very good at providing emotional value, during the day when we separate, he basically does not take the initiative to share daily life with me, every day to talk about what to eat today, I picture him young and good-looking is a potential stock, he wants me mature and sensible and virtuous can cook
I know that our relationship is very fragile, so I usually get along without making trouble, according to his preferences, get along quite happily, we have talked about marriage, he has a plan, the bride price has reached a consensus, but the specific time has not been planned
I want to ask the baby sister, how can I get married with my boyfriend? I want to get married early, but I don't know what he thinks, so I'm embarrassed to ask, do I want to take the initiative to move forward?
(Screenshots and photos of chats)
(Swipe left and right to see more)
answer
First of all, in response to your last mention of "chat screenshots and photos to hide", to explain that when all subjects come to submit, there will be a striking red text reminder on the upload screenshot page, "upload screenshots and text are public by default", in order to protect the privacy of the subject, we will not release photos, but chat records are all made public by default.
Because we are a public platform, answering questions is not only for the subject alone, but also for other fans to learn and reference, if the chat record is hidden, it may affect the understanding and analysis of this question by other fans other than the subject.
Therefore, the chat history you requested cannot be realized. And the photo, without you saying, we will not publish it. Therefore, when you come to ask for help, a sentence shows the characteristics of "extremely picky and difficult" and "especially suspicious", which I believe the people around you can feel all the time. The average person can't catch it.
Speaking of your question, you are 32 years old this year, but the photo is a junior high school student's dress, with two balls tied on the left and right on the head, and a hair ring with lace, a dress full of various lace ruffles and bows, and a bag with a bear head cross-body, even if you dress up so girly and dreamy, but your choice is ranked lower among all girls, not good looking at all.
On the other hand, your boyfriend, although he is wearing a mask in the photo, you can feel his handsomeness just by looking at his eyebrows, his height is 181, and his age is 5 years younger than you, and the gap between your two choices is too big for a wife.
In addition, according to your description, "he is not very clingy and not very good at providing emotional value, when we are separated during the day, he basically does not take the initiative to share his daily life with me, and talks about what to eat today every day... He wants me to be mature and sensible and virtuous and can cook", combined with the chat records of the two of you, this boy is more like looking for a "nanny", and he can't feel how much affection and sincerity he has for you.
To sum up, it is difficult for you to enter the long-term choice of this relationship, and the only way is - gamble. Since it is a gamble, whether it can be won or not, and when it will be won, I don't know.
On the one hand, I have never advocated that girls gamble with their precious mate selection period; On the other hand, even if you win the current bet and enter the long choice, can you win for the rest of your life? How long will the relationship last? Will it be stable? What kind of twists and turns will it suffer?
Another reminder is that in your relationship, if you want to get married early, it is absolutely useless to retreat, and once you retreat, the other party is likely to turn around and leave.
All in all, think through it yourself and don't waste any more time.
Old fans advanced
Question 3
Keywords: "Bushi Man"
Beautiful and wise baby sister is good~ I have been following you for a long time, and now I am confused, I hope to ask you for advice~
Male, 33 years old, 179/75kg, no car in one room, 2 bedrooms and 2 cars at home, foreign companies with an annual income of 50w; High school + undergraduate abroad; Six years ago, he had a brief history of marriage, and broke up because the woman disliked Xiong Jingti; Since childhood, his parents divorced and his father and mother were abroad.
Boy personality stubborn can't speak, but down-to-earth work, self-discipline, good to friends, integrity, like to save money, maybe stone?
Female, 27 years old, 168/55kg, self-assessment of appearance, family 3 bedrooms and 2 cars, annual income of 18W, project management post, foreign master's degree; Before the boyfriend cut sex is relatively strong, suffered some hardships, in the past two years to adjust the mentality and external dress more feminine, self-assessment may cut the cloth.
I met my boyfriend on social software, and we have been together for 4 months, and both of us are first-line locals. He likes me to be sweet-mouthed, good-looking, good-looking, and has his own ideas.
But recently there are 2 things:
1. Recently, he has a lot of work pressure, I am sick and see less at home, he said twice that I am not sweet enough, and my performance is not good, which makes me mind a little
2. The gift from my boyfriend at Christmas, the price is 1/3 of what I gave, although I am very grateful to him for choosing carefully, but I feel a little uncomfortable in my heart and he can see it. I spend more money myself, and the two of them cost him 7 me 3.
Now I am also at the end of the mate selection period, I met a more down-to-earth and stable man, may I ask if we match, and in what direction should I work hard to make the two better and better?
Thank you very much to Sister Wawa and friends
answer
You said that "in the past two years, adjust your mentality and dress up more femininely", but you in the photo, your eyes are not big, the atrium is exceptionally long, and you have buck teeth, and your red hair is dry and frizzy, such a look is put in the group of all girls, not even medium, but a little lower, but you "look self-rated in the middle", and believe that your boyfriend said that he likes you to look good, and your misunderstanding of yourself is too big. The point is that this is still the way you look after adjusting your appearance to be more feminine, and it's hard to imagine what level you were before you adjusted.
Your submission once again confirms a common phenomenon on our platform, but if the man says that he likes the woman to look good, the girl must not look good.
This also explains why your "previous boyfriend was relatively strong in cutting sex and suffered some hardships", because you failed the MV, but you still think highly of yourself, and your heart is heavy, which will naturally attract scissor men.
Looking at your current boyfriend, the choice is more than a notch higher than yours, so your relationship is still the same as your relationship in the past, still a male cut female cloth model. The overall financial strength of your family is stronger than his, and the "Christmas boyfriend's gift is 1/3 of the price I gave", all confirm this.
Your misunderstanding of the cloth stone is too big, I have never seen such a handsome cloth stone, can wear clothes and dress, narrow jaw, small head, this kind of look in the blind date market can basically be killed, is this the outer cloth? How could he be Bushi!
In addition, the gift can reflect the problems of the relationship between the two of you. I calculated that Christmas should be the first couple in your 4 months of dating, more ceremonial holiday, you two are in love at this time, the general male cloth female stone and male stone female cut relationship, the man will be very willing to pay for his girlfriend to buy gifts, but you two are the opposite, you spend more money, and he spends only one-third of your money. (Source of the title of this issue)
Then again, if you want to continue the relationship, if you want the relationship to be stable for a long time, you have to maintain this money-spending relationship forever. This can also answer your question "What direction should I work to make the two of them better and better". By paying more money, or even sharing your family's wealth with him, your relationship may get better and better.
Coveting TA's high choice means paying for TA's high choice, which is the same for both men and women. You know, if your boyfriend does not have that short marriage history, you may not even have the opportunity to spend money, cherish the opportunity to spend money on him, if he is not willing to let you spend money This relationship is dangerous, it is very likely that you will not be able to go into the long term. Now there is still a bit of drama in spending money.
Question 4
Keywords: stone scissors
Hello baby sister, the new year is about to begin, I wish you all the best! I have a little question about the rock-cutting man, confused, and want to get the doll sister's advice.
Sister Wa said that as the stone scissor man grows older, it is easy to become a stone cloth man after the appearance of the scissors fades. Stone cloth men are usually more annoying attributes in our discussions, but stone scissors are more liked by everyone, why is that?
If you consider long-term development with a person, is it not a good choice to cut the stone?
answer
Stone scissors are not what you call "everyone prefers", most of the time, stone scissors are only more pleasing on the surface, but in fact, it is very uncomfortable to get along deeply, otherwise there would not be so many stone scissors who have been single. For example, in my knowledge planet, the stone scissor man came to marry, and the success rate was not high. I guess you should be talking about stone scissor men, because in general, stone scissor men will be more pleasing to girls.
As for "whether stone cutting is not a good choice", it depends on what kind of attribute you are, for official cloth scissors, stone cutting men are the best choice, but for girls with other attributes, it is definitely not. In short, if you want to "have long-term development with a person", you must first recognize what the other person's attributes are, and if you can cultivate into his official match, then you will have the opportunity to come together and develop in the long run.
People's life is a process of change from cutting to stone to cloth, and the person who re-cloths is also a cute little scissors when he is two years old, and the person who cuts again is also a big cloth when he is eighty years old. As the average person grows older, his sex increases, and he becomes more and more annoying, which is normal. If each of us can restrain the development of our own nature, we can become a likable person for a longer time. Go for it!
Question 5
Keywords: strong distribution of people around
Hello baby sister, hello assistants, I wish everyone joy, health, wisdom and beauty in the New Year.
My question is:
I feel that the closest people around me in life are cloth or strong cloth, such as mothers, mothers-in-law and husbands, how to deal with themselves and get along with them?
answer
Judging from the photo, your husband is indeed very, very cloth, fat, with a big head and a swollen face, but he is not necessarily a pure cloth, because he does not look at the pure cloth that makes people feel a little uncomfortable, and he may also be a cloth cut. Since you didn't provide much information, I was also not good at judging.
But if your husband's core is cloth, and your mother-in-law is also strong, then the first thing you need to do is to have more children. On the one hand, cloth itself attaches great importance to offspring, and a large number of offspring will alleviate their reproductive anxiety; On the other hand, having more children is also conducive to distracting them, allowing them to spend more on raising children, and you can live more comfortably in it.
Secondly, on the basis of maintaining the stone nature, you must cultivate a certain shear, and then use the shear to make a conciliator between them. Think of their strong people as cogs, and if you can act as a lubricant between them, then this home can run more smoothly.
The last thing to remind you is to try not to let your husband, mother-in-law, mother and other strong people get together, such as living under the same roof, remember!