Hello everyone, today I want to talk to my sisters about my heart.
In recent years, I have been more impressed by the fact that more and more people seem to have become love pessimists.
How serious is this matter, even a single friend of mine, who has never tasted love, has recently entered the stage of forgetting love.
Over time, the reason why she remains single is not because she can't meet any new people at home, but because she has heard too many bad loves of people around her and witnessed the downfall of too many friends when they fall out of love.
We drank the other day, and when we advised her to go on more dates even if she was not in love, she also sighed: "I really want to be in love, but I am very resistant when I think of being hurt, and I am afraid that I will not be able to talk well."
I especially understand this mentality, and the more I look forward to being in love, the more I fear it will fail. Especially when that liking falls short again and again, when we are always entangled with different wrong people, reality will make us open the self-protection mechanism and become this person who does not dare to show the courage to believe in love.
In fact, as a person who has had several not good relationships, I recall that pain is greater than happiness. But to be honest, looking back now, I'm glad I messed up those loves.
If it weren't for those three failed relationships that occupied the first half of my life, I might still be in a state of love brain, full of possessiveness and excessive dependence on the other party.
Thanks to my sincerity being ruined, I was able to metabolize my excessively high and unrealistic expectations of love. It is precisely because I have met rotten people that I know that gritting my teeth and stopping the loss in time is much cooler than the feeling of constantly being consumed internally because I can't bear it.
Remember doing a call for money before, asking everyone "Which relationship experience do you most want to delete with one click?" One of my favorites among all the responses came from @珈言가언 , and although her text was very long, I read it several times at the time.
She said: "After thinking about it, I don't want to delete every relationship because I feel that each relationship has brought me many different growths.
I'm in my early 30s, but I've only been in two relationships, each of which is four years. Every time my mother said that I wasted my youth. The last boyfriend has been broken up for two years, and unlike the four years of first love, the last four years were full of pain, tears, laughter and joy were really mixed, and that was the first time I liked someone so much.
After the breakup, I returned to work and live in South Korea, and it took me a year and a half to come out of the world where my inferiority was very hurt. I also used to think that in the last four years, it would be much better if I deleted it. But this thought is only for a moment, because I am still very grateful because I understand what it is like to love someone, and how to love someone and how to love yourself.
Because of my predecessor, I have also gained a lot and changed my life trajectory and employment direction. Because of getting to know him, I met many noble people, and it was he who made me grow up. ”
There is no one in this world who can perfectly avoid the unpleasant parts of love. But the meaning of love is like this, we always need to screw up a few relationships in order to figure out something at the cost of pain.
It's like a chemical experiment, the formula is here, but only if you slowly figure out the value of each reagent, until you test the just right amount of affection, you can experience the best taste of love in the simplest way.
Some people are good at reflection, and in the process of licking their wounds, they will figure out what they need in an intimate relationship, and then master the ability to love someone. Some people are more and more courageous, even after experiencing bad love, they can still be generous, and when good love comes, only she can clearly distinguish the right person.
Others are enlightened, they can realize that love is not a salvation myth, and only by becoming less concerned can they keep most of their strength for themselves.
In any case, most of those who can live freely in love today have had the worst and most downcast appearance in love in the first half of their lives. So don't be so afraid to fall in love, and don't resist love because of falling out of love.
The most precious thing in this world is not the appearance of true love, but the stubbornness to get up and find your own happy ending after experiencing bad ending again and again.
I wish all the girls who are brave enough to love can find their own happiness, and I hope that we don't have to mess up too much love and can love a worthy person with just the right amount of affection.
Illustration / Network
Head diagram / Aren