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In-depth long article: The phenomenon of "trend-catching women" - on the crisis of gender relations among 80~95 people in the mainland

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Today, I want to do a swastika analysis about the issue of older unmarried women that is currently hotly discussed in the marriage market.

From the beginning of 80 to the end of 95, women born between these 15 years, their problems in marriage are very obvious.

This is something that women in any other period have not experienced.

Why do we see a large number of cases on social media where the head is broken and injured in marriage?

Why can these single elites deal with all kinds of difficult problems at work, but they are alone in marriage?

Why does the problem of more women than men in blind date agencies in big cities persist, and there is even a growing trend?

The answers to your questions are all in this article.

This article will completely subvert most people's perception of marriage and love today.

After reading this article, you will know what really happens to older unmarried women.

How the marriage crisis of the 80-95 generation of women is brewing, how it arises, how it develops, and where it will eventually go.

And, this generation of women, how to get out of trouble in marriage.

As we all know, there are a large number of women in China's marriage market, and their parents have devoted great efforts to them, and they have lived under the guidance of their parents since they were children and met their parents' expectations.

They are also very competitive, studying hard as children, most of them getting into good universities and finding decent jobs.

Just when everyone thought that their lives would continue to go smoothly, they experienced shocking setbacks in the marriage market.

When choosing a mate, it is extremely difficult for them to meet the right person, and even if they do, it is difficult to enter marriage. Seeing youth pass little by little, dragged into older unmarried women, they and their parents are more anxious, panicking to grab the men around them, and some of the more tragic experiences even encounter pig-killing plates.

Their success in their careers and the twists and turns in their marriages are in stark contrast.

Whether it is in the blind date corner in the big city, or at the dinner table of the family dinner when returning home for the New Year every year, we can see the anxiety and loneliness of these women.

The prosperity of work cannot hide their decline in marriage, their expectations of marriage and love have a serious disconnect from reality, and a considerable number of women have very serious cognitive problems with mate choice.

Like when they encountered difficulties since childhood, their parents also used their own ways to solve their problems in marriage, whether it was to find the right object through their own connections, or urge women to go on blind dates, but the effect was not good.

They grew up learning a lot, but no one ever taught them how to deal with the increasingly complex realities of mate selection.

It can be said that the problem of older unmarried women has become a problem for two generations.

And all this is already doomed from the moment they are born.

Their parents didn't think of this, they didn't think about it, and it was even possible that they would have a hard time realizing what was going on for the rest of their lives.

And they themselves are innocent, and there is an invisible hand behind them that controls all this.

So, let's start with these "invisible hands".

Let's first look at the economic crises that occurred in Europe and the United States in the last century:

As long as people who have studied middle school history, in textbooks, they all understand more or less about the problems of the economic crisis in Europe and the United States, and I remember our teacher telling us very vividly:

How high was the number of unemployed when the economic crisis came? It's unimaginable. Even people with a doctorate degree can only find a job watching elevators.

So, is it because these PhDs in the Botu and economically developed period did not work hard enough, did not have good grades enough, and were not strong enough?

Definitely not, it's that the relationship between supply and demand has changed.

At that time, the country did not need so many elites with high education, everyone rolled up and rolled the value of academic qualifications, and it was already very good for a doctor to have a job watching elevators.

Unfortunately, this imbalance between supply and demand has also occurred in China's marriage market.

Women born between 1980 and 1995 are catching up with the supply and demand problems in the Chinese marriage market, here I give them a special name: "tide girl", why is it called "tide girl", I will expand in detail in the following content.

Before I officially start the analysis, I will share a few real calls for help from the background, basically, every day more than a dozen women contribute similar content to my platform:

[Female A]: 33 years old, blind date met the height, figure, appearance, family background are excellent and humble other half, women call each other their blind date ceiling, both parents are very satisfied, but men are dedicated to Buddha, have no ideas about marriage and children, and do not take the initiative for women. Women themselves are very entangled and ask: Do you want to take the initiative?

[Female B]: 34 years old, boyfriend debt entrepreneurship, she followed her boyfriend to the other party's city, found that his economic situation is not optimistic, the living environment is difficult and the economy is very tight, women want children, but the men's living environment is not suitable for having children, and they can't see the ability of men to make money, and it's not good to find another when they are older, ask: Do you want to close your eyes and get married or break up?

[Female C]: 32 years old, master's degree in sea turtles in first-tier cities, annual salary of 300,000 yuan, no love, playing game online dating for five months, the other party and himself borrowed 6w, so far has not paid the debt, Q: How to get the money back?

[Female D]: 34 years old, married, husband found out last year that he was suffering from a vicious disease, about three or five years, the two have no children, the woman is difficult to get pregnant, ask: Do you want to have children with your husband?

The four helpers had one thing in common: they were all born in the same era.

Female A: 33 years old, born in 90 years.

Female B: 34 years old, born in 89.

Female C: 32 years old, born in 91.

Female D: 34 years old, born in 89.

In fact, in previous years, the age of consultation we received was a little younger, but as time went by, we found that the girls who came to ask for help increased in age, but they were still of this generation, and the passage of time did not change their dilemma in choosing a mate, but it made their problems more and more difficult, like a sieve, leaking everywhere.

And girls younger than them choose a mate, and even women much older than them remarry, do not have the same mentality as them, nor do they encounter such a dilemma as them. And girls of the same age in other countries are not as obvious as their problems.

Why is that?

What are the commonalities of these people who come to ask questions?

Why is this generation experiencing more emotional problems?

Why is it this generation of women who have problems? Will women in the future experience the same problem?

In the end, modern people have more and more emotional problems?

Or is it because the development of the Internet has provided more channels for everyone to express their ideas?

Or is there something else in it?

Once when a comb was on the market, an advertising slogan was used: "It's not that your hair is bad, it's that you chose the wrong comb."

Here, I want to paraphrase this slogan and say to these girls who are hitting a wall everywhere in the marriage market, "It's not that you are bad, it's that there are too few boys who match you."

In order to illustrate this problem, let's first look at a set of boring data, we recommend paying attention, these data are closely related to the situation of older unmarried women that we will talk about in detail later. If you really can't stand it, you can jump directly to the position of the keyword "echo boomer" below, which is marked in red.

After the founding of New China, there have been three baby booms on the mainland:

✧ The first baby boom occurred shortly after the founding of the People's Republic of China. Because of the policy of encouraging fertility in New China after liberation, it was normal for a family to have four or five children at that time, and the population growth rate was nearly 300%. But at that time, Chinese population was only about 540 million, the base was small, and the absolute number of baby boomers after the war was relatively small.

✧ The second baby boom began after the end of three years of natural disasters in 1962, and this peak appeared around 1963 and lasted until 1973, making it the largest number of births in mainland history and the main baby boom with the greatest impact on the subsequent economy. In the past 10 years, nearly 260 million people were born in the country, accounting for about 20% of the country's total population at that time.

✧ In 1986~1990, China's last "baby boom" population has started a family, entered the childbearing age, and produced a third baby boom, also known as echo baby boom. Among them, 1990 was the year with the largest number of births in these five years. As the next generation of the main baby boomer, Echo Baby Boom also supports a representative term - the "post-80s" generation.

What I define as "trendy women" is the group of women who are most affected by the echo baby boom in marriage.

So the question is: What is the relationship between women's divorce, marriage and baby boom?

My personal opinion on this is:

The difficult situation of women in this part of the post-80s and pre-95s in marriage and love is determined by the baby boom.

What does the large number of baby boomers mean for the marriage market?

What happens when women face a serious baby boom?

We know a common tendency to choose a mate:

Men prefer to find women who are younger than themselves, while women are more willing to find men who are older than themselves.

This is because among women of the appropriate age, the younger the woman, the more fertile she is, and younger means that the female competition is stronger;

Slightly older men are more likely to have strong masculinity than men who are younger than themselves, which is the instinctive choice of men and women when choosing a mate.

This is also the consistent conclusion shown by David Buss based on surveys from 37 different cultures and regions/countries.

In other periods, men and women are choosing a mate according to their instincts, but it is precisely because of this book that this book can be preferred, and in the baby boom period, there will be such a phenomenon: men born in the years before the baby boom are obviously not enough for women born in the baby boom period.

Here's a simplified example:

There is a village called Happiness Village, and 50 men and 50 women used to be born every year.

But the baby boom came, and for five years in a row, 100 men and 100 women were born in the village.

What does this mean?

Assuming that girls like boys who are one year older than themselves, it is equivalent to about 100 girls in the first year of the baby boom to compete for 50 boys in the previous year, because when girls enter the legal marriage age (mate pool) at the age of 20, boys born in the same year have to wait two years, and they do not reach the legal marriage age until they are 22 years old.

The 100 girls born in the second year of the baby boom are a little better, but they still face more competition than our parents' girls, because the girls of the previous year have not yet been digested by the market.

By analogy, an explosion brought about by the baby boom in Happy Village, just considering the legal age of marriage, is the absence of men born in at least two full years in the marriage market.

These extra women may take years to be digested by the market.

Or maybe it will probably never be digested.

In reality, this situation will only get worse.

This is why, this group of women in the baby boom period has some special phenomena that are completely different from the previous women's choice of mates.

For example: when choosing a mate, the combination of sibling love has obviously increased, one by one, because older men are not enough, girls begin to operate against their instincts to choose boys younger than themselves. In film, television and media, this trend is also clearly perceived.

The phenomenon caused by the lack of men is not only sibling love.

In the baby boom period, women are more "at a loss" in choosing a mate, because there are fewer men of the appropriate age at this time, and men are more expensive, and the previous habit of choosing a mate of "a family with a hundred women and a hundred families" has changed, becoming "a family with ten women and ten families" or even "a family with ten men seeking it".

In jargon, it is oversupply, from thousands of years of seller's market, suddenly became a buyer's market, from which many new ways of getting along between the sexes have been born, and sibling love is just one of them.

Along with baby boomers, there is a pronounced wave of sexual openness. Because men no longer have to pay so much to pursue women, they can also have their other half. Then, there are more men who pay short-term choices, and fewer men who pay long-term choices, which can easily lead to celibacy and non-marriage.

This is not unique to us, and in the baby boom period of country M before, there was almost the same phenomenon.

Yes, when men find it easy to choose short-term and feel that they can have offspring at any time and everywhere, why are they in a hurry to reproduce through marriage? For men, "Dink" comes in when they don't necessarily have to be married to have a child.

In short, when fewer men choose not to marry, women cannot get married, which is the basic reason for the difficult situation of women in marriage and love before the 80s and 95s.

In addition, baby boomers have led to many other phenomena. For example, when the number of men born in the years before the baby boom is not enough for the women of the baby boom period, some women will have to raise their own offspring, so the big hostess is set up.

This is also a very significant phenomenon that we ordinary people can observe.

What many people don't know is that the third baby boom has three more characteristics:

The first point is the implementation of family planning

As a result, many of the only children were born in this generation of baby boomers, who, like men before the introduction of family planning, received most of the family's parental investment, so they need to bear most of the responsibilities in the family.

It can be said that the development of "women's rights" is not just because of the reduction of male options, so that they have to be more independent; In addition, the insufficient number of offspring in the family further catalyzes them to be both women and men to shoulder the responsibilities of the family.

The second point is the development of the Internet

This wave of people born between 80 and 95 is not indigenous to the Internet, but most of them have been online since adolescence, and for most of their lives, they have obtained information through the Internet, which is very different from those born during the previous baby boom period. To put it simply, the Internet has made it more difficult for everyone to choose a mate.

In the past, the competitive environment for mate selection was mainly offline, as long as a woman was more beautiful and younger than Xiaohua in the next village, then her value in the marriage market would be high. As long as a woman's blind date has one more room in the house than the previous blind date Xiaohu's house, then she will be particularly satisfied and more willing to enter this marriage. It is precisely because of the lack of circulation of information that everyone is generally not so picky.

But the post-80s and post-90s, exposed to too much whitewashed information on the Internet, open a social software, feel that the men to choose from are endlessly rushing to themselves, sending some photos of heavy beauty, and there will be boys commenting "You are so beautiful", offering ethereal high-intensity emotional value.

The Internet has brought women too many choices, although 90% of them are short-term choices, but because there are too many short choices, women are more expected to climb, and women are more picky.

This short choice, like foam on beer, is a typical hallucination.

As the first generation of women to experience the impact of the Internet, they have not received the emotional education to match, resulting in them being unable to distinguish between long and short choices, and it is easy to fall into the illusion that they seem to be popular. And this is something that the post-50s, post-60s, and post-70s have not experienced. When the Internet appeared, most of the former baby boomers were already married and had children, and they had determined their view of mate choice.

Their mate selection environment is very narrow, in their cognition, mate selection is to find people around them, and they are more likely to accept their lives than those born in the third generation of baby boomers. A person's expectations are positively correlated with his level of comparison. That is to say, the higher the personal expectations, the more willing he is to compare.

And the information environment has changed the level of comparison of a generation and changed the expectations of a generation. Whether it is a horizontal or vertical level of comparison, it is full of the Internet.

This generation of baby boom women, that is, "trendy women", their requirements for the other half, are ridiculously high, to boys 180 tall, good family background, high education, high emotional intelligence, as long as there is a girl on the Internet who has achieved this expectation, others will think that their requirements are reasonable, and no one will examine whether the person who lives the life that everyone expects is whitewashing or even making up their own content.

It's as if some social apps have a Ferrari Maserati, and some social apps have everyone in the United States just got off the plane. A lot of things online aren't true, but they mislead women who already have difficulty choosing a mate and make them have unreasonable expectations.

The third point is the process of urbanization

The radius of activity after 50, 60, and 70 is very small, and most of their activity radius can only cover the village or town where they live, which is a very narrow information environment.

In recent years, economic development and urbanization have made great progress, resulting in a series of large cities in China, especially international metropolises such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, more people have cars, and the construction of high-speed, high-speed rail, and airports has increased people's activity radii a lot. Urbanization has led to more people that seem to be in contact with people, but in fact they are all bubbles, and the extra choices are only short-term choices, and these girls and the long-term choices that were previously available will not grow much in number.

The baby boom itself has caused difficulties in choosing a mate, and on this basis, family planning, the Internet, and urbanization have led to the high expectations of this generation of women in choosing a mate, which is why it is so difficult for this generation of women to choose a mate, why choosing a mate and managing marriage must become the eternal practice of this generation of women.

After the development of the times shines into reality, we will find that the women who come to ask for help have good hardware conditions, but they just can't find a boyfriend.

What this era brings to women is like two sides of a mirror:

On the one hand, their male competition has been better developed and seen more of the world: but on the other hand, it has also made them more picky, less aware of cherishing their mate selection period, and it is more difficult to adapt to the right person in the marriage market.

Which group of women is most affected?

The second baby boom began around 86 to end in 90, and was pushed back for five years, about 1980~1995, and women born at this stage stepped on the hard mode in their marriage choices.

From the experience of Europe and the United States, some people will eventually be out from the perspective of genes, this part of the people have no partner, no family, no offspring, even if they have the opportunity to have a family and partner, it is difficult to continue. At its very nature, the emergence of baby boomers is that some of our female gene carriers need to be naturally eliminated, so that they cannot have offspring.

This is the law of natural development, not unique to China's marriage market, not the first time, nor will it be the last. Women born during the baby boom period call them "trendy women" when they enter the appropriate age to choose a mate. Because if they want to choose a mate smoothly, they must "catch the wave".

To put it lightly:

I don't know if you have played the game of "grabbing chairs"?

A bunch of people according to the sound of drums, grab a small number of chairs, whoever does not grab the chair will be out. When the rhythm of the drums suddenly increases, everyone must be vigilant and quickly find a chair to sit on, if you have not found your place by the end of the drum, then the situation is dangerous.

"Trendy women" need to step on the point accurately every time to have the possibility of choosing a successful mate and preserving marriage. For example, the blind date should be earlier than the peers, and the time to fall in love should not be too long, and when it is time to get married, you must also have children early.

The "tide chasing women", if they can't catch the tide, they may be left behind. What are the good "tides"? For example, when you go to school, you can pick and choose the right object, if this wave does not catch up, then you have to wait until you just work, see if there is an opportunity to seize the new person in the workplace, at this time, if you have a pair of discerning eyes, you can also choose a boy with a better career development.

If this stage has not been grasped, by the age of 30, it depends on whether there are boys with a strong willingness to marry, and at this time the boy's career can no longer be too demanding. If you don't seize the opportunity at the age of 30, by the time you are in your 40s, it may be difficult to even have children, and you can only help others raise children.

The sooner you start, the smaller the wave and the less difficult it is. This wave did not catch up, and the next wave will always be more ferocious than the previous wave.

Because there are few men, there are many "trend-catching women", and the other half of the "trend-catching women" who are unwilling to have children or even fewer children are more likely to be targeted by the "trend-catching women" who have not entered marriage for a long time. Instead, borrow a seed to have children, in the chair grabbing game, the desire for a chair by a person without a chair is unimaginable to a person with a chair.

"Trend-catching girls" need to be very vigilant, move quickly, and make all decisions one step ahead of others in order to have a chance to get the same good results as their parents. And it is necessary to raise the spirit and protect it for the rest of your life.

Speaking of which, you can see why there is so much incomprehension between the parents of the "trendy girls" and them. The times are different, the situation is different, and even if the same strategy is adopted, the outcome is different.

In the era of the parents of the "trendy girl", it was a step-by-step life, so there was no need to worry about marriage. Because there is no problem with supply and demand in the marriage market, young women of school-age are basically matched by young men. But for the "tide catcher", it is not so lucky.

Of course, this is not a special case of the marriage market, and some women in other periods will briefly experience similar situations.

Elderly people like my parents' generation are now facing a similar situation, because men have a relatively short life expectancy, some men of the same age have died, and at this time there are especially many single old ladies. A large proportion of these female elders are looking forward to starting a new family and enjoying their old age. But the problem is that there are too few single men left for them, so these women are also in the same embarrassing situation as "trendy women".

My mother's friend, an elder aunt, who hadn't read any books, jokingly called it "the price of the rooster has risen." The words of the elderly are not rough, and the simple five words explain the reality of these women in the marriage market. Even the aunts of the older generation know that if there are fewer men to choose from, the standard must be lowered.

The situation faced by "trendy women" is that there is no difference between "present" and "past", from the beginning of their choice of mate, the "price" of the "rooster" will never come down at a high level, and by the time of old age, the situation will intensify.

Our parents generally believe that women work hard to find a better partner than themselves. This is because it was like this in their generation, and it has been like this for dozens of generations.

But the "trend-catching women" are different, they face the situation that if they work hard to maintain their marriage like their parents, if they sit and wait like their parents, they may not be able to get married or the marriage will not last.

Think about it backwards, the example of doctors looking at elevators during the economic crisis in Europe and the United States.

You think: If "doctors" can only find jobs that "watch elevators", then what should "masters" do?" What should a bachelor do?

This kind of problem caused by the imbalance between supply and demand, the result of economic and marriage treatment, there is no difference, lower expectations, is the only way out!

For people in economic crisis, survival is the most important thing, people have work to survive, then naturally can survive until the end of the economic crisis, life will be better. For people with marriage crisis, entering marriage, running it all the time, not being out, this is the best ending, everything will be fine.

Why are women more likely to have problems during baby boomers, not men?

It's true that the situation in men is not that serious, partly because:

For example, the legal age for marriage in China is 20 for women and 22 for men. And it is undeniable that men's mate selection period is longer, women are mostly only 20-30 years old in the decade can pick and choose in the marriage market, while men from 20-40 years old are in a more active mate selection state, waiting to be slowly digested.

Even a small number of the best of the post-80s men can accumulate resources and eventually extend their hands to the post-95s and even post-00s, and the 15-year span can digest many baby boomer men.

On the other hand, men have actually been "out", and the proportion is not low.

For example, the rate of imprisonment, disability and natural death among men has always been higher than that of women. Including men who are extremely poor in male competition, they have always been out, such as men at the bottom and marginal of society represented by the "Three and Great Gods", but they have not received too much attention.

Therefore, it is conservatively estimated that women who appeared between 1980 and 1995 were more likely to be in the risk zone of marriage. The challenges they face are unprecedented, and neither the previous and subsequent generations of women can offer them any experience, which is a marriage challenge exclusive to this generation of women.

The root cause of the danger is that there are not enough men, so many women have to choose to be single or "share" men. The "sharing" here is not necessarily sharing within the same time period, or it may be that a man marries female A first, divorces after five years, and then marries female B. This is called continuous polygamy in evolutionary psychology (continuous monogamy), that is, the golden reproductive period in which a few men take away most women.

This is the peculiarity of the "involution era" of marriage:

Difficulties and hopes coexist, challenges and opportunities coexist. This is why the profession of emotional expert was born in this era.

I sometimes can't help but think if only there were more boys suitable for marriage. Because there are too few men to choose from this generation of "trendy women", even for many women who do not have a high choice, the best solution to their marriage is to marry the first man they meet in their lives who sincerely pursues, and most "trendy women" have missed it.

But this is not like universities can also expand enrollment, born boys are really much less, really can't expand, can't expand.

So one of the important points I'd like to make today is that more than 90% of the marriage problems of this generation of women are caused by baby boomers.

Some people may have to ask: Sister Wa, didn't you say that more than 90% of marriage problems were caused by Gao Pan?

Yes, the number of men is too small, and high-climbing, in essence, is the same problem.

Or old example: In the economic crisis in Europe and the United States, a doctor can find a job watching elevators, so if the master finds a job looking at elevators, it is obviously a high climb.

Substituting emotional problems into the problem of economic crisis, we can easily understand that when economic development is good, let a master go to see the elevator, it must be low, can not treat the master's like this, isn't this a waste of talent? The master will feel that the unit is insulting him.

But when the economic crisis allows the master to go to the elevator, everyone will feel that the master "climbs" the job, because there are still a group of doctors waiting in line to see the elevator work.

The same are women, like our mother's generation, there is no problem at all in finding an ordinary man to marry, and the generation of "trendy women" is also a woman, but it can't. Because in the mother's generation of matching men, the same conditions, put in the market of imbalance between supply and demand, that is a high climb.

Therefore, in our mother's generation, it can not be called a high-climbing relationship at all, put it now, because of the baby boom, that is high-climbing.

"High climb", the essence is that the relationship between supply and demand changes, supply exceeds demand, specific to the issue of marriage and love, the supply of women is greater than the demand of men, resulting in a series of problems.

It's like usually anti-y materials, vegetables and fruits, are not expensive, but the shortage period will be hyped up sky-high. If you're like me, you've grabbed food in Shanghai at 5:59 a.m., I'm sure you'll have a deeper understanding of this.

Note that all this I am talking about will not only exist for ten or twenty years, these are the practices and lessons of this generation of women throughout their lives, so if you happen to be born at this time and see this article, please be sure to cheer up and protect your marriage.

What if you happen to be born during a baby boomer?

1. If you are still single, you must greatly reduce the original criteria for choosing a mate

During the baby boom period, women are more rolled, and they can no longer use the treatment of mate "excellent students" to benchmark their own treatment, you know: it is better to get on the car than not to get on the car. This era is destined to have some women who need to "fight single", if it is really difficult to choose a mate, it is necessary to accept the possibility of another "fight single", divorced men with children can also choose.

If you are a single "hipster", you now need to "lower" the bar significantly. Your difficult situation in choosing a mate is not brought by you, but because the demand of the marriage market has been inverted. You and your parents' generation face a very different marriage market.

In the past, as a woman with a good education and a good family, you could pick and choose in the marriage market, but now such women are grabbing a lot in the marriage market, and your birth year has led you to be forced to compete more fiercely, all of which you cannot change, but you must face.

Be sure not to use the standards of your parents' generation to demand yourself, but to use the standards of "trendy women" to demand yourself, and catch the last train of women in your era as soon as possible. Although that's not much, but for women who realize this early, there is still a little chance, and if it drags on, there may really be no chance at all.

In addition, where men get together, there are now opportunities to pick up leaks. If you are a good "trendy girl", go to such an environment as soon as possible. Do not aim to improve the competition, but to improve the marriage situation. Now there are many girls outside the circle who don't know what happened, such as this kind of male crowd place, the men in it do not have as strong a perception of the marriage market as other industries, they have not yet had time to realize that they were born in this era of luck, even if your choice is a little lower, they are willing to take the initiative on you.

2. If you have entered a marriage and have your own children, congratulations first, but please also be sure to cherish and cherish again.

Because you are already the lucky ones of this era, there are many women of your time who may not be able to enter marriage or have children of their own for the rest of their lives. Even if they do not seek marriage, it is difficult to only choose to have a child of their own. Because not every woman has the ability to raise offspring independently. And you not only exist in the marriage, but also have the other half with you to raise offspring, which is already a very lucky and happy thing.

Therefore, it is necessary to play twelve points of spiritual guardianship marriage, because there are many women who are not married and are considering "fighting singles". They generally look for men who are more financially powerful, seeking short-term choices, only to have a descendant of their own, and can get financial support from the other party. It is precisely because the marriage of this generation has been challenged like never before, and it is in a period of more monks and less porridge, so if you happen to have porridge in your hand, you must hold the bowl tightly and don't be robbed by others.

This generation, even if you are lucky enough to get into marriage, is much more vulnerable in this era than women before and after. Therefore, it is recommended that it is best to have as many children as possible during these years.

When post-95 and post-00 women enter the mate selection period, their willingness to choose a mate will be much stronger than that of the post-80s and pre-95 generation. The reduction of pressure to go to school, the reduction of pressure to choose a mate after the baby boom period has passed, and the lack of parental investment in the original family (many of this generation are non-only children), will lead to the post-95 and post-00 women more eager for marriage. Coupled with the country's birth policy, after the 95 and 00 women enter the mate selection period, there may be a surge in the birth population.

In other words, these years are the last window period for their children to enter the negative baby boom. Women who have already tasted the pain of baby boomers should not want their children to be born in baby boomers again, right? Children born in the negative baby boom period in recent years, they can enjoy more social resources, less competition, further education pressure, employment threshold will be reduced, and the mate selection period will be more favorable.

But children born a few years later are likely to repeat the mistakes of the past and enter a mate-choosing dilemma similar to that of this generation of girls.

A grain of sand of the times, falling on an individual's head is a mountain.

What we can do is to perceive it, understand it, respect it as early as possible, and at the same time take action, actively learn the theory of emotions, and try not to let it fall on ourselves and our descendants.

I sincerely hope that every "tide catcher" who sees this article can become a lucky tide maker.

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