When the daughter bought a suite, the mother asked to give it to herself free of charge: to be filial piety, not to be a white-eyed wolf

Between mother and daughter, the feelings are mostly pure.

Many times, the mother's efforts to her daughter are not reciprocated, and when the daughter grows up, she can also appreciate the hardships of the mother and know how to give back to the mother's love.

But there are exceptions in life, Ms. Ma and her daughter Xiaolin do not have a good relationship, in order to earn a house with her daughter, she even said that she wanted to break off the mother-daughter relationship.

Daughter Kobayashi has been a soldier and has a certain degree of restraint, but in the face of her mother's tight steps, she also feels broken, she cries and begs her mother to let herself go and give herself a little living space.

So, what happened to them that would make the relationship so tense?

01. A house becomes the fuse of contradictions

Kobayashi has a house, which is a welfare house for the unit, only need to pay 100,000 yuan, on the condition that it cannot be resold, and if you resign from the unit, you also need to return the house.

In order to get this suite, Kobayashi asked his father for 60,000 yuan, plus his own savings, enough to buy a house.

From the qualification to the purchase of the house to the capital, this house belongs to Kobayashi without dispute, why does the mother have to fight?

It turned out that Kobayashi's parents divorced, she lived with her mother, after getting her father's money, Kobayashi temporarily let her mother keep it for a while, and her mother took the opportunity to propose to sign an agreement, meaning that the money was funded by the mother, and the property rights of the house belonged to the mother.

Xiaolin was young at that time, and did not guard against his mother, he signed, in her opinion, this house is a mother and daughter living together, even if it is given to the mother, when the mother is older, is not it all their own?

But she did not expect that her mother remarried and gave birth to a son, and the requirements for her daughter became more and more stringent, such as requiring her to arrive home 20 minutes after work, come back to help her share the housework, and if she could not do it, she would lose her temper.

Xiaolin is in love, she has her own life, sometimes she will go shopping with her boyfriend to eat, it is difficult to meet the requirements of her mother, which makes Ms. Ma very mad, she thinks that her daughter has changed, she can't control her, she proposed to take back the house, let Xiaolin accompany her to go to the house, so she also ran to Xiaolin's unit to make trouble.

The person in charge of the housing management department told Ms. Ma that the house could not be transferred, because it belonged to collective property, if the conditions changed in the future, it could be considered again, Ms. Ma was unwilling, proposed to let her daughter write another agreement, willing to give the house to the mother free of charge, which made the daughter feel speechless, on the one hand, the mother made her very faceless, on the other hand, she felt that the house had nothing to do with the mother, there was no need to transfer the house to the mother.

So the question is, what is the reason why Ms. Ma insists on fighting for the house?

02. The lack of love in the original family is the root of the indifference of the relationship

From a legal point of view, Ms. Ma wants to transfer the house, there is a prerequisite, that is, she has funded the house herself, but she cannot get the proof of capital contribution, so in this case, Xiaolin is not obliged to transfer the house.

Seeing that she did not have the upper hand in legal theory, Ms. Ma played the emotional card again, saying that her daughter was not filial piety, and she did not answer dozens of phone calls, and the relationship was very cold.

In this regard, Kobayashi explained that she and her boyfriend have received a marriage license, that is, it belongs to the husband and wife relationship, the husband asked her to watch a movie after work, she called to tell her mother that she would go back later, and the mother kept calling, asking for 20 minutes to be home, otherwise she would break off the mother-daughter relationship, and also scolded Xiaolin as a white-eyed wolf.

The mother's strength made Xiaolin feel suffocated, she turned off the mobile phone, Ms. Ma called her husband again, Xiaolin also let turn off the mobile phone, after ten minutes, she opened the mobile phone to see dozens of missed calls, as well as scolding her text messages, the two were really not in the mood, they left the scene early and went back.

Entering the house, Ms. Ma was about to drive away her son-in-law, and then pulled her daughter into the room to beat her, Kobayashi shouted, the son-in-law was very nervous and ran over to stop it, Ms. Ma was so angry that she broke a vase and scratched it on her arm with a fragment.

Originally a very small thing, Ms. Ma went to the hospital, from the root cause, Ms. Ma's desire to control is too strong, she longs for her daughter to obey, she can control her daughter's behavior.

But because of the divorce of his parents, Kobayashi grew up in his grandmother's parents, and only returned to his mother after retiring from the army, and the mother-daughter relationship itself is indifferent, and if you want to establish feelings, you also need a process.

Ms. Ma is too anxious, in her opinion, if her daughter does not listen to her own words, it is not filial piety, which is her unbearable bottom line, so she strongly sets rules for her daughter and requires her to obey.

Leaving aside the phenomenon, I see a deeper cause, which is anger.

Xiaolin has a good relationship with her father, and Ms. Ma holds a grudge against her ex-husband, she thinks that her ex-husband is emotionally betrayed, and abandoning herself is ashamed of herself, she has no way to settle accounts with her ex-husband, so she vents her emotions on Xiaolin, and because xiaolin's father took the money to buy a house, she feels that the other party's money should belong to herself to make up for her own scars.

Anger is a transfer of emotions, but it hurts Kobayashi a lot, because choosing a partner is Ms. Ma's business, and her daughter is just a crystallization of marriage, and she has no way to choose her parents.

03. Learn to let go, in order to see the beauty of life

In addition to the resentment towards her ex-husband, there is also unwillingness.

From Ms. Ma's communication, it can be seen that she is not very satisfied with the second marriage, and the reason why she wants to get married is that she said it is to anger her ex-husband.

Because after the ex-husband remarried, he gave birth to a son, and the reason why they divorced was because Ms. Ma did not have a son, she wanted to prove herself, there was no son, and it had nothing to do with herself.

So, she and her current husband are almost flash marriage, do not care about feelings, just want to let themselves out, as a result, she gave birth to a son, but did not feel the slightest happiness.

Seeing Ms. Ma's experience, you may sigh, pitiful and sad.

The pity is that she has lost herself, has been creeping under the mind of her ex-husband, and even fell into a bigger predicament in order to prove herself.

Sadly, she could not find a way, her life was difficult, and she also let her daughter suffer with her, and the mother-daughter relationship also fell to the freezing point.

In Ms. Ma's consciousness, what she has lost must be recovered from her daughter, so she has always stressed that her daughter should repay the favor, but the problem is that she has not given her daughter love, how can she let her daughter know how to give back?

There is a line in "The Way of Heaven": "If raising children is to prevent old age, don't mention how great maternal love is." ”

The mother's dedication to her daughter is a love from the heart, and when the children grow up, supporting their parents is also the original action, and they do not need conditions.

Ms. Ma reversed the order, believing that if her daughter unconditionally surrendered to herself, she could win back a round in a failed marriage, proving to her ex-husband that she still won.

In fact, people live their own life, you do not need to prove, calmly feel the beauty of life, get along with your daughter happily, is no regrets, as for what others think, it does not matter.

I also hope that Ms. Ma can relax a little, give her daughter some independent space, and maybe her daughter will naturally return to you and make the relationship between them become intimate.

Give it a thumbs up and go! Do you think Ms. Ma should fight with her daughter for a house?