"Sober up, I'm no longer your husband," a divorced woman recounts sadly

This article begins with the following paragraph.

I was very confused these days, tears had long dried up, and occasionally I panicked about the future.

My ex-husband found a woman, which meant I had to leave the home where I had lived for almost 20 years. Only when I'm gone can I make room for him and the woman.

Whether they will get married in the future or not, and whether his apology is sincere or not, it has nothing to do with me. I've been with him for 20 years, and in the end I'm just a helpless person. I don't want to go, but I have to go...

The above is from a woman who has been divorced for 2 years, at the age of 43, she is about to start a journey of 1 person.

According to her, she and her ex-husband did not live separately after divorcing. Divorce does not leave home, and continue to live together under the same roof.

After 2 years of divorce, they still share the same bed like a husband and wife, spending long nights together. There is laughter and laughter in getting along, and there seems to be feelings.

But regarding the pursuit of life, they have long been unconstrained with each other. After all, after divorce, they are no longer husband and wife, and anyone can go out and find a partner.

When the two parties divorced, they agreed that the choice of feelings only needed to be understood, not forced. When one party finds a suitable lover in the future, just say hello and say hello, and the other party should be perfect. From now on, don't say sorry.

Now, her ex-husband has really found a lover, and she has finally experienced the heartache of the belated divorce.

The 18-year marriage seems to be a fleeting moment, and then looking back, 2 years of companionship are like years. In her eyes, the couple has finally reached the moment of final separation, and the future that belongs to her is only sad memories...

One, the heartache of a divorced woman

Below I will tell you about the marriage case of this lady, some of which has emotional logic that deserves the deep consideration of many married women and can be explored.

In her tone, I will tell her experience, and I will only tell the truth, and slightly organize it to improve readability.

2 years ago, my husband (ex-husband) was looking for a woman outside and was caught by me. I was heartbroken by him and could not forgive this betrayal. We argued for days, and finally I got a bet and divorced him.

After the divorce, I found out that some things cannot be put down by divorce. I've been married to him for 18 years, and here's my youth and concerns. Coupled with my ex-husband's painstaking efforts to keep me from leaving, I was reluctant to leave.

So after 2 years of divorce, my ex-husband and I have been living together. Although they are no longer husband and wife, there is no difference between them and husband and wife. Over time, the hatred for him faded, and we still lived as we did.

The ex realized the mistake and was very nice to me in order to compensate for what was owed to me. During those days, he often apologized to me and begged me to remarry.

I was touched by him, in fact, I also thought about remarrying, but there was always a thorn in my heart that had not been removed. I especially care about love, and I still have grievances in my heart, and I have not made up my mind to remarry.

For 2 years, I was particularly disgusted with every husband who remarried. I don't want to be so happy to promise him, I hope he learns enough lessons.

Sometimes I feel that if we can make up for a lifetime like this, even if we don't remarry, it's nothing. After all, they still have feelings for each other, and they have long been a family...

I didn't expect that 2 months ago, the ex-husband was in love. Since then, his attitude towards me has changed radically, and he has become more and more indifferent to me. We've been in the Cold War since 2 months ago, and it barely stops.

The woman forced my ex-husband to chase me away or break up with him. My ex-husband was embarrassed and repeatedly persuaded me to move out and make room for them.

Under the incessant "persuasion" of my ex-husband, my heart gradually grew cold. His expression became more and more indifferent, and our feelings became more and more strange. I was really miserable, but he said I was obsessed...

I woke up crying that night, and finally couldn't help but have another fight with my ex-husband.

I told him clearly: You don't want to dump me, I have followed you for so many years, I am not willing to leave like this. It's been 2 years since the divorce, and we're doing well, and we sent our kids to college. I have no credit and hard work, if you still have a conscience, leave that woman early, don't think my temper is good.

I always thought that my ex-husband still had me in his heart, and I always thought that he would not really abandon me. As long as I cry a few times, maybe they break up.

But the ex-husband said: We are just living together, we both have our own needs. I love her, it's my bond with her, you can't force me. I'm not your husband anymore, you should be sober. I hope you wake up quickly and find someone more suitable than me to live...

We quarreled until dawn that day, and he said he wanted me to wake up, but the more sober I was, the more heartbroken I became. I really can't bear to leave him, how sober can I be...

In fact, I have always loved him

Since that day, the ex-husband's attitude has become more and more indifferent. He went to see the woman often, without any regard for my feelings.

One evening, my ex-husband was just getting home from work and was about to go out.

He didn't want to eat the food I made, and said he wanted to go out with the woman and order a meal to deal with it. I blocked in front of the door and didn't agree with him going out. In the midst of the tugging he suddenly became furious and almost hit me, growling and asking if I had had enough.

I let go of my hand and let him go.

He didn't come home that night, I called him a lot and he didn't answer a single one.

I was exhausted and more and more passive. I'm not afraid that they have an intimate relationship, only afraid that they really have feelings, afraid that he doesn't want me.

In the second half of the night, my ex-husband sent me a message: I beg you to spare me, there is really no need. When we first divorced, you and I agreed not to interfere with each other's emotional choices, so why are you struggling to do so now? Since you and I are not husband and wife for a long time, why are you so embarrassed about me? I don't want to make you sad, I really don't want to live with you anymore. I can compensate you and ask you to move out. Calmly, is it bad to laugh apart...

Looking at those words, my heart grew colder.

When I got divorced, I said that in the future, I would find my own partner, and no one should force anyone to do this. I also said that when I find the right lover, I will separate from you, and you can't keep it...

It was all my angry words, and I just wanted to find a step for divorce not to leave home. I always have to express a tough attitude, otherwise I will wronged myself to death.

We agreed not to interfere with each other's future emotional choices, and only wanted to pressure him and hope he cared about me. I never took those "agreements" seriously, and I didn't expect him to take them seriously...

If I really plan to try to fall in love with another man, how can I stay with him for 2 years?

He was at fault first, and I still treated him as my husband. He hurt me so much that I still dried my tears and lived with him.

Although we are not husband and wife for the past 2 years, although I have refused to remarry him again and again, I have been taking care of this family. If it wasn't for the woman who snatched love with a knife, what is the difference between us and husband and wife?

Who am I working so hard to maintain this family for?

It's all for him, I love him, I really love him, otherwise I wouldn't have let myself be so wronged.

I replied to the message and told my ex-husband about the pain in my heart.

I can certainly move out, it's just that I can't accept you falling in love with another woman yet. Please don't abandon a woman who truly loves you, she has been with you for 20 years, and you have forced her into the abyss of helplessness...

I hope my ex-husband understands that if you still have a conscience, don't force me with "we are not husband and wife", let alone continue to hurt me in the name of love.

I love you, don't make any more trouble, let's remarry well...

Third, it is obvious that it is unwilling, but there is nothing to do

That was the last time I begged him in a pleading tone, and I let go of all my stubbornness and offered to remarry. But he was no longer the same person he had been, and he had an iron heart to drive me away.

He said: How good it would be if you had agreed to remarry earlier, it is really too late. I know that you have a lot of suffering in your heart, but this matter has nothing to do with your conscience, and there is nothing I can do.

I said: I have been your woman from beginning to end, and you are the only man in this life. You drove me out, don't you think it's cruel? I've been with you for 20 years, how many times have you hurt me? Even if you have a conscience, you can't wash away your selfishness, and I am willing to remarry you.

He said: If you must let me explain, well, in fact, I am more upset than you. She was pregnant with my child, and these days she was forced to die and let me leave you. Her character does what she says, and I dare not gamble. I didn't expect us to develop into this, and I couldn't abandon her. Let me be clear again, we registered the other day, I am her husband, you know...

My ex-husband's last words almost broke my heart and shattered what little illusion I had left. The person who joked about feelings from beginning to end was him, but the person who hurt the most in the end was me.

It was the darkest moment of my life, and it finally came and I finally understood.

Suddenly, I realized that no matter how much I struggled, our ending could not be changed. Since this is the case, why should I continue to embarrass each other?

In the past 2 years, I have always thought that I have the initiative to remarry. I always thought I could remarry at any time if I wanted to. I didn't expect people's hearts to be so cruel, and they turned their faces without mercy.

In the face of the harsh reality, I have long been whispered, insignificant in his eyes. My marriage has long since turned into a sad story, and poor me has always been ignorant and ignorant...

At the moment when I woke up, my heart was cold or unwilling, I didn't have to be difficult for him anymore, and I didn't have to continue to torture myself. Since they are in love, I will just go and make room for them.

I will put away my grief and give myself some dignity. A person quietly leaves, to which day is counted as which day...

The marriage case ends here, which is the story of a divorced woman 1 year ago. She didn't wait for the perfect ending, but her experience deserves a lot of women's thoughts.

She was obviously reluctant to leave, but she had no choice. After an effort, it did not save the family. The ex-husband remarried and she also started a life of being alone...

In those days, whenever she remembered the past, she regretted everything, why didn't she remarry earlier? Knowing that he has the initiative, why is he easily replaced by another woman?

Fourth, when you regret it, you must also learn to understand

What kind of emotions do you see in this lady's narration?

There is always sadness in feelings, and the deepest sadness is often the letting go after deep affection. Either in the bitter sea of memories, or in the bitter sea of choices, slowly die.

Although the 43-year-old is still young, leaving her ex-husband is not necessarily a way out. If she wants to, it's not hard to find someone to start over. But her heart was very heavy, because she saw her own vulnerability and saw the harshest reality of marriage.

There is one side to this divorce case that is worth exploring.

In principle, couples can still be together for 2 years after divorce, which shows that the wind and waves have long passed, and it is only a matter of time before they remarry.

In her mind, as long as the feelings are good, the life can still be lived. In her mind, even if she didn't have that marriage certificate, it wouldn't affect living together.

This is the biggest mistake in the world of women's sensibility.

She refused to remarry again and again, only wanting to carry out the punishment to the end. She is full of confidence and takes it for granted that as long as they have feelings for each other, her ex-husband will spend the rest of her life with her.

However, time quietly consumed each other's last bit of fate. When the days of companionship finally came to an end, she realized that she had overestimated the conscience of a man who had cheated.

Of course, she also overestimated her position in each other's hearts and overestimated the depth of their feelings.

Similar cases of "divorce without leaving home" are not uncommon, and many people who come here have unspeakable distress or grievances in their hearts. The expectations of the past are still expectations after all, and the reality is always a reality that cannot be hidden.

Many normal couples will change their minds, let alone ex-husbands and ex-wives?

We certainly admit that in the face of sincere love, that marriage certificate is really not important. The heart belongs, the whole life, the true love of each other can not be separated.

It's just that in real life, there are too few sincere feelings, otherwise how can you get divorced? After weighing the pros and cons, people's hearts are fickle as deep as the sea, and some people always say that they will turn their faces.

Some people are of course very aggrieved, but they ignore the most realistic logic of marriage.

If you don't even want that marriage certificate, how do you prove the love in your heart?

For many couples, what is more heart-wrenching than divorce may not be "we are no longer husband and wife", but the involuntary choice until the last moment. It was obviously very unwilling in his heart, but he had to let go of the helplessness.

There are many things in marriage that are unsolvable, as was the experience of this lady. In the end, even if you say a thousand words, you are not a husband and wife after all.

Some things can only be faced squarely, not ignored. Feelings can not be forced, in the adult world do not expect how many miracles of love, that is both sides down-to-earth, the heart to heart in exchange.

You can overestimate the conscience of others, and you must not overestimate your own weight and status.

There are many marriages that are abandoned halfway, and in the end, they wake up like a dream, and the heartache always comes unexpectedly. Until you understand your true situation, you will die if you don't want to die.

In this way, it is also a good thing to die early, just let it go. Otherwise, what is lost is youth, and what is gained is a complete failure.

Eager expectations must contain bitter love. Regret at the beginning, but also to learn to understand the ups and downs of life. Even if that person is wrong, don't torture himself with his fault, this is a woman's open-mindedness and transparency.

The experience of the people who have come over cannot be changed, but young couples can learn from it.

When faced with emotional problems, you can't gamble too much and always understand what you really want. Forgive if you can forgive, and break apart if you can't forgive. Don't take your own youth to pay for the failure of others.

The world has a lot of dreams, and people who care about you don't necessarily care all the time, so don't force yourself.