Hello everyone, I am Xilu's mother who is giving birth to her second child!
Is the child brought by the mother-in-law or the grandmother? I found that in many mother-in-law or grandmother-in-law families with babies, there seems to be much more contradiction than the mother-in-law with her own baby, why is this?
Mother-in-law to help daughters-in-law with children is our Chinese tradition, with the joy of teasing the sun, although it is hard, but it is also what some elderly people yearn for. However, more and more elderly people are reluctant to take on such responsibilities, because many friends around them are cold after helping their daughters-in-law with their children.
Helping the son with the child is worse than the nanny
Aunt Han, 52, married her college classmate after her son graduated from college. After marriage, both of them worked in big cities and occasionally returned to their hometown in the county. When Aunt Han saw people, she praised her daughter-in-law's filial piety, almost like a daughter.
Every time she came back, the daughter-in-law had to bring gifts to her mother-in-law. When leaving, the mother-in-law also gives large bags and small bags of specialties, which is difficult to give up. The next-door neighbors have also praised, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also get along like mother and daughter, and the family is happy and harmonious, which is enviable.
But now it made Aunt Han feel a little cold, and her daughter-in-law was pregnant, which was a happy thing. Aunt Han even arranged everything in the family, and then just waited for the child to be born to take the child. The daughter-in-law gave birth to a lovely boy, and the birth of the grandson made Aunt Han's family very happy. However, her life was a bit blocked.
The daughter-in-law was inexplicably angry, and Aunt Han couldn't stand it
After the birth of her grandson, Aunt Han did not sleep a single night, serving her daughter-in-law day and night, cooking, making soup, and taking her grandson. Although it was very hard, I did not complain at all. However, the daughter-in-law was always inexplicably angry, which made Aunt Han a little unbearable.
While eating and eating, the daughter-in-law suddenly dropped her chopsticks: "This dish is so salty, is it not willing to let me eat it?" When the child cried, the daughter-in-law did not hold it, so she shouted outside: "The child is crying, you are all deaf, can't you hear?" ”
Aunt Han did not expect that her daughter-in-law was such a person. She is high on her toes with her mother-in-law every day, and she deserves to enjoy her mother-in-law's care, and she often loses her temper.
How many times, Aunt Han wants to go away, whoever wants to take the child, who will bring it, the result is that the son is still reluctant to go.
More work is not flattering, and the daughter-in-law is still picky
Children's things always need to be washed and washed, and the son is very tired when he comes home from work. As soon as the son comes home, the daughter-in-law begins to make all kinds of pretense, the child's clothes she does not let the mother-in-law wash, said that the father must wash, otherwise he will not realize how difficult it is to take the child.
Aunt Han couldn't bear her son's return from overtime and had to do housework, so she quietly worked more. As a result, the daughter-in-law said: "You are managing too much, you are just partial to your son and want to raise him as a mother." ”
Since Aunt Han came, the daughter-in-law has not done housework, and she does not know where she came from, saying that her husband is Ma Baonan.
Hard work and money, such a "nanny" does not fall well
Aunt Han is a nanny who sticks money upside down, buying rice, buying noodles, buying vegetables, water and electricity bills, since Aunt Han came, these things have cost her money.
Her monthly pension is basically set up, but her daughter-in-law is not appreciative. She often said in the open and in secret that the dishes bought by her mother-in-law were not fresh, the meals she cooked were not delicious, and the work was not conducive at all. Life is not familiar, Aunt Han really has bitterness to say, can only secretly shed tears behind her back.
Mother-in-law can not be regarded as their own mother, although the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law will always have contradictions, but if the daughter-in-law does not know how to be grateful, but everywhere provokes, it is estimated that the mother-in-law will not help with the child at home for a long time.
Bringing children is the responsibility of parents, not grandparents. Moreover, if the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law have a long-term contradiction, it is not good for the happiness of the family and the growth of the child.
If the contradiction between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law cannot be resolved well, it will cause the contradiction between the husband and wife to erupt. Family members are not harmonious, and the family atmosphere is very heavy and tense, which also affects the healthy growth of children.
The task of taking care of children, mom and dad should take the main responsibility
If we choose to be a parent, we must be mentally prepared to take responsibility and not push our children to the care of the elderly. The educational philosophy of the elderly and the way of taking care of children also have some impact on the growth of children.
And it is the responsibility of parents to take their children, and it is a love, not an obligation, for mothers-in-law to help their sons and daughters-in-law to bring their children, so do not push the responsibility to the elderly.
The mother-in-law helps with the child, and the daughter-in-law should be grateful and communicate well.
The mother-in-law came to help with the children, which for young people, it was a great burden to be reduced. Therefore, young people should not feel that this is a matter of course, and be grateful to the elderly. Our way of educating children is different from that of the elderly, and we have something to say well, and good communication is the basis of family harmony.
The living habits of the elderly and young people are different, and it is most appropriate to live separately.
If possible, it is better for the elderly and young people not to live together. Even if it is to help with the child, you can also choose to send the child over, and have a space to live independently with each other, which is a good buffer for two generations with different living habits. If you can ask your aunt to take the child, it is also good for the old man to come to help.
Contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often occur, distance produces beauty, communication and unraveling knots, and the harmony of the family is the most important.
Everyone is young, our older generation is their own baby and have to work in the field, now the economic conditions are good, young people do not have to work while taking the baby, and the help of parents to watch the children, do housework, to be much easier.
As the saying goes: "There is an old family, if there is a treasure" The old man's dedication to the children's family, we must be grateful.