Danshanya also wrote in "Mother-in-law's Plan against Daughter-in-Law": "If anyone can come up with a wonderful solution to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he should be awarded the Nobel Prize." ”
Let the mother-in-law relationship be as close as mother and daughter, it is very simple to say, but it is difficult to do, only because the biggest difference between the mother-in-law relationship and the mother-daughter relationship is that there is no blood relationship.
For the mother-daughter relationship, the daughter is a piece of flesh that falls from the mother's body, it is the mother's small cotton jacket, which is good for the daughter, the mother does not need a reason, it is nature.
Even if a daughter makes a mistake, even if it is a heinous crime, society cannot forgive her, but mothers generally forgive their children.
For her daughter, it was the mother who gave birth to her and raised her, the person she would honor from the bottom of her heart.
However, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are different. The mother-in-law is good to the daughter-in-law, and it is the son's face that looks at it, in the same way, the daughter-in-law is good to the mother-in-law, and it is to give the husband face. They are not related by blood, do not love each other from the heart, cannot empathize with each other, and naturally get along will not be so pleasant.
Moreover, the mother-in-law cannot teach the daughter-in-law like the mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law cannot coddle the mother-in-law like the mother-in-law.
In fact, in order to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is not necessary to pay attention to the mother-daughter relationship, but to pay attention to the heart to the heart. If she is very good to you, you will use the same good to repay her, repay virtue with virtue, respect each other, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally not be too bad.
If you lack gratitude and obviously get the other party's kindness, but refuse to repay, even the best mother-in-law or daughter-in-law will feel cold.
Recently, aunt Zhou, 56, encountered a very disturbing matter, that is, whether to agree to her daughter-in-law's request to continue to take her granddaughter.
"Logically, the son and daughter-in-law are busy with work, there is no time to take the child, do the grandparents to help, it is also the right thing to do, now help, establish a good mother-in-law relationship, and be good to yourself when you are old." However, I am not unhelpful, I brought my grandson before, hard work for 3 years, in exchange for a sentence of resignation to die, can I be happy? I felt that all my hard work had been fed to the dog. ”
Aunt Zhou's granddaughter was born the second child of her son and daughter-in-law, and the first child was Aunt Zhou's grandson born five years ago, when Aunt Zhou helped but added to her own blockage.
01. Although I am reluctant to leave my wife, I still go to take my grandson for my son;
Eight years ago, Aunt Zhou's 25-year-old son got married and married her college classmate. For her son's marriage, Aunt Zhou looked very open, and agreed to the marriage with the principle that you like it.
The daughter-in-law asked for a dowry of 120,000 yuan, although it was slightly higher than the local normal price, when Aunt Zhou gave it very happily, and also gave the bracelet left by her mother-in-law to the daughter-in-law.
The son and daughter-in-law wanted to settle in the provincial city, and Aunt Zhou considered the future of the children, and also agreed, and took out 300,000 yuan with her wife, paid the down payment, and wrote the names of her son and daughter-in-law. Because it is a two-bedroom apartment, the area is not large, and the daughter-in-law's attitude of not wanting to live with her in-laws is extremely obvious, Aunt Zhou is not reluctant and consciously moves back to her hometown.
Five years ago, Aunt Zhou's daughter-in-law gave birth to her first child, a boy. During the confinement of the daughter-in-law, Aunt Zhou gave money and invited the sister-in-law to serve. However, the daughter-in-law made a request to Aunt Zhou to take the baby.
"Mom, you see, the mortgage is more than 4,000, my husband's monthly salary is 8,000, if I stay at home with the baby, our family of 3 must not drink the northwest wind ah?"
Aunt Zhou also knows that the daughter-in-law is right and knows that they are under great pressure, but the wife has not yet retired and needs to stay in her hometown to continue working, and the daughter-in-law is even more repulsive to her father-in-law who likes to smoke.
In desperation, Aunt Zhou had to leave her wife and go to the provincial city to help her son with a baby, which was three years.
02. The frequent contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the arrival of my mother-in-law, have completely deteriorated my relationship with my daughter-in-law;
After Aunt Zhou came, the pressure on her son and daughter-in-law was greatly reduced, and her life was much more comfortable than before.
First of all, after Aunt Zhou came, she took over all the things that took care of the children, except for breastfeeding, other things did not need to be managed by the daughter-in-law. The child slept with Aunt Zhou, and it was Aunt Zhou who woke up crying at night, and she had a high fever in the middle of the night, and Aunt Zhou drove her grandson to the hospital by herself.
Secondly, someone did the housework, and Aunt Zhou not only took care of the grandchildren's affairs, but also took care of the housework and cooked for a large family. Before, because the son could not cook, the daughter-in-law was too lazy to cook, the little two often ordered takeaway, after Aunt Zhou came, the number of times the little two went home on time was more, and the number of times to eat takeaway was greatly reduced.
Finally, the arrival of Aunt Zhou also eased the financial pressure of her son and daughter-in-law.
"I'm retired, I have 3,000 yuan a month pension, and I've run out. During that period, I spent my money first, buying vegetables, paying property fees, water bills, electricity bills, gas bills, etc., and when I had no money, I went to my daughter-in-law to ask for money, and my son's money was given to my wife. ”
Under the care of Aunt Zhou, the grandson grew up healthy and healthy, and Aunt Zhou was also very happy. In fact, without the daughter-in-law to send a message to let her go, Aunt Zhou had planned to wait until her grandson was a little older and could go to and from school by herself, and then go back to her hometown to accompany her wife for a while. Wait until you are in your eighties and have limited mobility, and come back to them.
However, what Aunt Zhou did not expect was that she had worked hard for three years in exchange for a daughter-in-law's evaluation of "please take the baby, I am suffocated".
03. Are you suffocated? Then I'm good to go! But two years later, they came to me again;
Although it has been two years, Aunt Zhou has never forgotten the day she heard her daughter-in-law call and complain to her mother-in-law about her voice.
"Mom, I really don't know when my mother-in-law plans to return to her hometown, and I'm embarrassed to let her go." With her at home, I was dying of suffocation. If I want to dress up beautifully, I am afraid that she will say that I am wasting money; if I want to go out to socialize, she will have all the food ready, and I will not come back to eat, lest she feel unhappy; I will have to do housework, afraid that she will say that I am lazy. ”
When it comes to her daughter-in-law complaining about these things about herself, Aunt Zhou really didn't expect it. In fact, seeing that her daughter-in-law had bought a lot of cosmetics and clothes, she felt that it was a bit wasteful, but she did not say anything. If any of them don't want to go home for dinner, they can tell her that she doesn't do so much, and she doesn't just call her daughter-in-law to do housework, not her son.
The more Aunt Zhou thought about it, the more aggrieved she became, and it was not good to tell her son, for fear of causing contradictions between husband and wife, and finally decided to leave: "They all have the meaning of picking people up, and I will not leave again, is it not humiliating myself?" ”
Therefore, Aunt Zhou took the initiative to return to her hometown, and before leaving, the daughter-in-law's attitude became obviously much more cordial, which made Aunt Zhou feel disappointed.
After returning to her hometown, Aunt Zhou's life was quite comfortable, not only could she live with her wife, but also found a job, saved a sum of money, and her mood became much better. Due to the impact of the epidemic, the son and daughter-in-law only returned twice, but there was no friction.
However, after the birth of her granddaughter, the daughter-in-law once again asked Aunt Zhou to take the baby, which made Aunt Zhou feel distressed. Seeing that Aunt Zhou was not very happy, the son inquired about the reason, and after learning about aunt Zhou's unhappiness, he said his wife.
"I'm sorry, Mom, I was not good at the time, just thinking about myself, I didn't understand your hard work and effort, I apologized to you, please don't be angry." Come back, we're a mess here right now, no one to cook, no one to do the housework, no one to take the children, really need you. ”
Whether it is to go down the slope of the donkey, or refuse to take the baby to live her own life, Aunt Zhou fell into the entanglement, and had to ask for help from the people around her.
04. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, if there is no gratitude, how to put it in vain.
Wang Fu said: "Life needs a grateful heart to create, and a grateful heart needs life to nourish." ”
No matter who it is, we all hope that others can see their own efforts, even if we do not ask for returns when we pay, we do not want our own efforts to feed the white-eyed wolf, and we do not want to give our own goodness to people who have no gratitude while accepting with peace of mind.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, if there is no gratitude, how to be in vain. Remember, whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, she does not owe you, she is good to you, of course, it is on the face of the man, but since you have borne this good, really got her help, gained benefits, you should have a grateful heart, understand this good, return this good, let her know that you deserve her good.
If people do not have a grateful heart, they will lose the way of being helpless, lose those who are good to you, and it will be difficult to live happily.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Aunt Zhou should go back to take her granddaughter? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.