There is such a post on the Internet: "After all, the mother and daughter were treated as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law." ”
A 62-year-old mother's heartfelt words: let the married daughter live in the mother's house, and the mother and daughter have become a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship
Caused a lot of netizens to discuss, some netizens believe that after the daughter gets married, she should not live in the mother's home for a long time, and some netizens feel that if the mother and daughter are not in a good place, don't blame the mother-in-law for being difficult.
The daughter is the mother's little cotton jacket, but the daughter after marriage is not necessarily.
In life, the daughter will live with her in-laws after marriage, or live independently, and the mother in the post left her daughter at home, thinking that she would take care of each other.
Unexpectedly, letting the married daughter live in her mother's house became a robbery in the second half of her life, and she regretted it very much, if she did not agree to let her daughter live back, would the result be much better?
01.
Aunt Liu is 62 years old and has only one only daughter.
She and her wife and children are both workers, the income is not high, but it is good to get a set of houses in the unit, and the life is simple and simple.
After the only daughter grew up, she also found a job near home, and would go home to eat every day, she and her husband were free in love, and her in-laws were out of town, but she promised to buy a suite where they worked, and the marriage became.
My daughter got married, moved to a new house for more than half a year, and when she was pregnant and about to give birth, her mother-in-law said that there was something in the family that could not run, and I felt sorry for my daughter, so I took care of my daughter at home.
Considering that there is only one daughter, I am not willing to let my daughter suffer, during the confinement period of my daughter, I am alone, after my daughter is full moon, I consult with me: "Mom, let's move back to live, I will not take the child, leave you do not know how to live, move back to rent out the new house, more income, I also have no job, need this money." ”
The old partner nodded: "Moving back, it's all a family, lively together." ”
Seeing that my son-in-law was also willing, I nodded my head in agreement, and every time I thought back later, I regretted this decision.
The daughter and son-in-law also have some items to move over, the original three-bedroom house, the daughter and the child live back, it is full, the son-in-law then moved things over, the house is more crowded.
Since I agreed, I couldn't say anything, so I could only rearrange the room and make the activity space slightly larger.
These are nothing, eating is a problem, I and my wife eat lightly, the son-in-law likes to eat spicy, he feels that the food at home has no taste, the daughter let me cook more garlic and millet pepper, every time I cook, I choked to tears, the meal was brought to the table, I had no appetite at all.
And the son-in-law's appetite is very good, the dishes on the table will eat most of it in a while, I saw that my wife only ate a few bites, I couldn't help but say: "You can't eat slowly, who grabs the same as you." ”
The daughter was not happy when she heard it, and said, "Mom, how much can we eat, are you so calculated?" ”
I am not calculating, but I am not accustomed to some living habits, even if it is a mother and daughter, after marriage, the identity is different, and the position is different.
02.
My daughter went to work when the child was 3 months old, and the children were all handed over to us to take.
At 5 o'clock in the morning, the child woke up, I fed the child, then dressed the child, forced his eyes to play with the child, and when his wife got up, I went to prepare the family's breakfast.
When my daughter and son-in-law went to work, I quickly ran out to buy vegetables, came back to feed and wash the children' clothes, after all, they were 60 years old, busy to the night dizzy, but also had to clean up a table of dishes, sometimes I let my daughter go to wash the dishes, my daughter ran to the kitchen, only washed the dishes without scrubbing the stove, and also got a place of water on the ground.
I really can't get used to it, I can only wash it myself again, at night, I am worried that my daughter and son-in-law will not rest well, affecting the next day's work, the child is also sleeping with us, since having a little grandson, my wife and I have not slept a whole night.
Sleep badly at night, the spirit is not good during the day, sometimes see the son-in-law lying on the sofa after work to play games, a nameless fire will come up, but also understand the mood of those who are mother-in-law, really can't get used to the laziness of young people.
If the daughter and son-in-law live at home, what benefits it brings to us, it is that they will go online, they can help pay for gas on their mobile phones, and there are items that are not available in the supermarket, they can buy them from the Internet, bringing us some convenience.
But correspondingly, the family water and electricity bills have become more, my wife and I are at home, the hot one blows the fan, the cold one opens the electric blanket, but the daughter and son-in-law are at home, turning on the air conditioner all day, and the electricity bill is more than 300 a month, and the water bill is also more than 100.
Sometimes I let my daughter save some, wash her hands and turn on the faucet a little smaller, she does not like to listen: "Mom, you say I can do it, don't say your son-in-law, it seems to be choppy, don't we also spend money?" You don't forget who pays for the gas. ”
I was angry: "You don't have to pay for the gas, I pay it myself." ”
Originally it was a gas sentence, but the gas ran out, the daughter really did not pay, I could only run to the business hall to queue, at night back to the gas meal did not want to do, the daughter saw no food to eat, asked what was wrong, I said not hungry, she actually only ordered the takeaway of the little couple.
That night, I couldn't sleep over and over, my daughter was older, she really couldn't get used to it, she didn't have any courtesy.
03.
When my daughter and son-in-law first moved in, I spoke very carefully and never said anything serious in front of my son-in-law.
They all say that the son-in-law is a guest in the door and does not want him to misunderstand, but the daughter and son-in-law have lived at home for 2 years, and their lazy and selfish attitude, I really can't see it.
Once my daughter hated that it was all vegetarian dishes and did not make the chicken legs she liked, I directly said: "If you want to eat well, have you paid for living expenses?" ”
My daughter was in a hurry and asked me what I meant, and I was not polite: "Our pension is so much, the cost of a large family is simply not enough to spend, which can eat meat every day." ”
The son-in-law has a good attitude, and the dish is delicious, so that I have no temper, I know that the son-in-law has concerns in his heart, and he is not embarrassed to be embarrassed by a big man.
Sometimes I also advise my daughter to let them move to their own house, come back on weekends, or come to dinner after work, but every day I live in my mother's house, and I don't have any space for myself.
The daughter shook her head, she rented out her house, did not want to go to the rental house, and most importantly, she was worried that she would not be able to bring her children.
After reading the mother's experience, many netizens expressed their understanding.
"If you marry your daughter or live independently, can you help for a while, can you help you for a lifetime?" If you keep your daughter living at home, it will only make your daughter develop a dependent character. ”
"The relationship between mother and daughter is also not easy to get along, some girls are kind to their mother-in-law, do not pay attention to their mothers, and feel that their mothers should tolerate themselves, or do not understand things."
"The daughter and son-in-law are unconscious, living in the mother's house can only take care of each other, how can we let the old man work?" When you meet such a person, whether it is a mother-in-law or a mother-daughter, the relationship is not good. ”
It is true that the mother-daughter relationship also needs to be maintained, and if the daughter does not have a grateful heart, the mother will be sad.
Mothers are selfless to their children, but sometimes the mother's efforts will be taken for granted by the children, and such a relationship will not change, and the contradictions will only increase.
After the daughter gets married, it is really not suitable for living in the mother's house for a long time.
Distance can produce beauty and reduce contradictions.
If you are worried that you can't take care of your children, you can let your mother help yourself, let yourself grow up as soon as possible, and take on the responsibility of your mother, instead of putting the pressure on the elderly.
When we are helped by the elderly, we must know how to be grateful, learn to give back the love of the elderly in our own way, be more humble, and take less of the rightful things, whether it is mother and daughter or mother-in-law, we can get along well.
In the final analysis, what is wrong is not the way of life, but the attitude, after the children become a family, they must have the spirit of self-reliance and self-improvement in order to support their own home.
What do you think about that? Do you think your daughter should live in her mother's house for a long time after getting married?