This article is original 丨 good mother
Some time ago, after watching "Heart Residence" starring Haiqing and Feng Shaofeng, a foreign daughter-in-law with a big belly has been trying to "change her destiny", the plot is close to life, and netizens have commented that "the most terrible thing in marriage is not Xiao San, but the mother's family!" ”
As shown in the play, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a difficult problem for Chinese families, and the mother-in-law abuses the daughter-in-law and the daughter-in-law complains about the mother-in-law behind the daughter-in-law.
To this day, there are still many contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and contradictions affect the whole family, even children.
When I was a child: Why did my mother always say bad things about my grandmother?
I vaguely remember that when I was a child, my mother always did not let herself be close to my grandmother, and always said bad things about my grandmother behind my back, so my parents quarreled countless times.
The quarrel between mom and grandma lasted throughout childhood, and no matter how big or small, the two always disagreed and could not be unified.
And the children who are the middlemen always have a scale in their hearts, and the words that their mother curses naturally become a minus.
For example, "Why did you go to the old and immortal place again", "Say what is your mother, don't have a good eye, don't go to her house", "In her eyes, I am an outsider"...
As the saying goes, "the speaker has a heart for the unintentional listener", and children with simple minds will always wonder "Why does the mother keep saying bad things about the grandmother?" Comparing the amiable grandmother, it seems that the mother is the "bad person."
I believe that most people have experienced it, perhaps because of the snacks given by grandma, perhaps because grandma has an amiable attitude, or maybe the mother always says that grandma is not good in her ear, and the child has planted doubts in her young heart: Why does the mother always say bad things about grandma?
After marriage: the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not the mother's fault, a slap can not be sounded!
The vast majority of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions will be blamed on the daughter-in-law, one is because of the low generation, the mother-in-law has more say than the daughter-in-law; the second is that for the entire family, the daughter-in-law with a foreign surname is more like an "outsider".
There is an old Chinese saying that "a slap cannot be heard, and it is difficult for one person to sing a monologue", and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not just the unilateral fault of the daughter-in-law.
The sister is a well-married daughter-in-law in ten miles and eight townships, in the eyes of outsiders, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are like the mother-in-law, and the confinement is also the mother-in-law's whole process of care, but it is also inevitable that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be contradictory, which also starts from the sister's sister.
At the Time of the New Year, the grandmother's grandchildren and grandchildren came, but when they pressed the old age money, they said different things:
Say to your grandson, "Press the old money to your mother, your mother still has to pay you tuition!" ”
Say to your grandson, "Press the old money to grandma or mom?" Don't give it to Grandma, it's really free to raise you. ”
The daughter-in-law did not speak next to her, but her heart was already full of bitterness, when she was a child, she saw her mother say bad things about her grandmother, and she was very angry, until she got married, she didn't understand that her mother-in-law only knew that she was worried about her daughter-in-law, but she didn't know that her daughter-in-law also had to pay tuition for her children, which is the difference between her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law.
In real life, there are many similar incidents that cause displeasure to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and both parties have responsibilities, which not only affect family harmony, but more importantly, affect the psychological growth of children.
For the healthy growth of children, grandma and mom should do these 3 things well!
1) In front of the child, do not get angry and do not blush
The child's psychological development is crucial, and the harmonious and quarrelsome family environment fosters a different personality. No matter what problems the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law encounter, they should try to communicate calmly and not argue in front of their children.
2) Don't say bad things to your child privately
In the young heart of the child, the parents, grandparents are the whole of life, and the every move of these people will affect the child. Many families with serious contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mothers always like to slander grandma behind their backs, and the object of talk is often the child, which invisibly causes psychological trauma to the child.
3) Educate children to avoid contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more like being handed down from generation to generation, when the daughter is married, the mother will always tell "don't be angry with the mother-in-law", the mother-in-law also says to the son, "Don't listen to the daughter-in-law", the education of the parents is wrong.
If you also have sons and daughters, you must educate your children to respect the elderly and love the young, face up to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the future, and do not kiss like mother and son, respect each other as guests, and create a good family environment for the next generation.
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